the Page 903 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
White Basketball Players Are Funny Because They're White
Make no mistake about it: "Scooch & Josepi" ain't nobody's kind of people. Per their site: "Their work covers all facets of satiracle comedy, including cultural diversity, and other controversial topics. If you don't like it…WHATEVER BRO."...
Calculating The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air's Usage Rate, And What It Can Tell Us About Ball Hogs
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today we have some b...
Horny 92-Year-Old Woman Couldn't Get A Kiss, So She Got Her Gun
When 92-year-old Helen Staudinger's boytoy neighbor Dwight Bettner refused to kiss her on Monday, she turned her .380 semi-automatic pistol on 'im. She missed, but it's the thought that counts....
<em>Around The Horn</em> Takes On The March Madness Selection Process
This is a clip from an Around The Horn episode about a week ago, in which the four journalists du jour took on the March Madness selection process — a topic that seemed to be on everybody's mind. "How much difference between the innies and the outies?" wondered show host Tony Reali. "What do you t...
Qataris Develop Artificial Cloud To Keep Pitch Cool During World Cup
Qatar 2022 will undoubtedly see at least 15 times more pissing and moaning than we had to endure during the South African World Cup last year, but if even half the technology proposed for the games comes to light, it'll remain a fantastic spectacle....
It’d Take Trey Parker A Million Years To Lose, And Other Statistical Oddities Of <em>BASEketball</em>
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today: The offensivel...
Dez Bryant Ejected, Maybe Banned From Mall Because Of Saggy Pants
Before the 2010 NFL Draft, Dallas Morning News columnist and/or contemporary of Montesquieu Jean-Jacques Taylor took issue with anonymous NFL types who doubted Dez Bryant's character. Taylor wrote, "His biggest flaw: He is habitually late. No joke. That's the most serious criticism leveled at Bryant...
See? Sometimes Your Life Can Get Better Once You Leave The NFL Behind
Note to those NFL players concerned about what to do if there is no 2011 season: start jotting down those lucid thoughts before the encephalopathy takes hold. It's good advice because Nate Jackson, former NFL player and writer for places of both distinction and ill repute, has just signed a book dea...
So, Who’s Gonna Get Relegated From The Premier League?
The top of the Premier League ain't that exciting. Arsenal will fall away, Chelsea will come back into it and push Man Utd for a bit before dropping out to leave Fergie and his phone to win it with two games to spare....
Duke Alums Are Worried About Craziness Of The Young Cameron Crazies
There is a crisis in Durham. Dennis and Elizabeth Chen, '02 and '00 Duke grads and presumably husband and wife, wrote a letter to the Duke Chronicle proposing a Crazie-off challenge to the university's current student body. At the Michigan game on Sunday, the letter alleges, the Crazies practiced th...
Goalkeeper Misses The Ball, Knees Opposing Player Directly In The Face
In Ukranian professional soccer action on Sunday, Volyn keeper Vitaliy Nedilko tried to collect a loose ball and instead collided directly with Luiz Adriano's face. To those who say soccer isn't a contact sport: it is when player's noses are crushed inside their faces, okay? Adriano's squad, Shakh...
Front Row Seats Mean Being Able To Flip Off The Coach Without Dropping Your Baby
This weekend the Ducks beat the Kings just 90 seconds into overtime of the most recent installment of the Freeway Faceoff rivalry. This so enraged a Kings fan that he gave Ducks coach Randy Carlyle, the finger — while holding his infant son in his other arm....
The Funniest 7 Seconds Of Casey The Bullykiller's Big Media Coming-Out Party
Casey Heynes, the Australian schoolboy whose bully beatdown so entertained us last week, went on the local version of A Current Affair. But we much prefer the sitdown interview with Ritchard, the bully, who shows no remorse — until prompted by his offscreen mother or lawyer....
Compiling The Absurd Box Score For <em>Space Jam</em>; Or, Shawn Bradley Sucked Against Cartoons, Too
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today: Space Jam by t...
Here's Video Of A Greek Goalkeeper Getting Hit By A Flare
This week's Greek Cup semifinal match between PAOK Thessaloniki and AEK Athens was interrupted when a fan of the former hit the goalkeeper for the latter, Sebastian Saja, with a flare (1:06 into the video)....
Weather Screwed Lindsey Vonn Out Of A Chance To Win Skiing's World Cup
When Lindsey Vonn woke up this morning in Lenzerheide, Switzerland, she trailed Germany's Maria Riesch by three points in skiing's overall World Cup title race. She had a chance to take the lead on the final day of the season's giant slalom event....
An Advanced Statistical Analysis Of Jimmy Chitwood's Basketball Performance In <em>Hoosiers</em>
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today: Calculating Ji...
Playtime: The Animals Shooting Baskets Megamix, Set To "One Shining Moment"
Animals play basketball, too....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Captain Lou Albano
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today: Captain Lou Albano, who died of a heart attack in 2009....
Minnesota's Mr. Hockey Scored A Diving Game-Winner In 3OT For The State Title
On Saturday, Eden Prairie High and Duluth East played the longest championship game in state history for Minnesota's 2A title. In the third overtime, with both sides exhausted, Curt Rau fired a shot from the right side and his twin brother Kyle — who was named Mr. Hockey the following day — dove i...