the Page 918 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Frank Lampard Humiliated By A Cartoon Character
It's a particularly sad day for Frankie Lamps, with news (in The Sun) that a great big pile of golden iPods emblazoned with his extravagant autograph have been "melted down" and replaced with a popular Japanese cartoon character, called Hello Kitty....

John Salley Story Corner: "Strap It Up And No Kissing"
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: why you shouldn't lip-kiss NBA groupies....

Pudgy Philly Puker To The Pokey
Matthew Clemmens will spend 60 to 90 days in jail, and do community service (the judge suggested cleaning bathrooms at Citizens Bank Park) after pleading guilty to assault, harassment and disorderly conduct. We're awaiting comment from crazy uncle Dave. [Inquirer]...

Final Jeopardy Exposes One Poor Woman Who Knows Nothing About Sports
It was a sports question for Final Jeopardy last night! How do you think you'll do? Better than Meg, probably. The full question is after the jump, but rest assured, the answer is not the Jacksonville Panthers....

Raul Ibanez's Hitting Makes Another Philly Fan Cry
But this time it's tears of joy for a girl who caught his home run ball, not tears of "we're paying him how much next year?"...

Young Man United Lad Scores A Really Lovely Goal
Tom Cleverley: remember the name. He scored a goal in the match against the MLS All Stars, which would be described in America as "awesome", or "win!", or "neat", or "rad"....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Some MMA Guy
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the occasional feature in which athlete highlights are synced to somewhat inappropriate music. Today, a twist: "highlights" of MMA fighter and loudmouth Chael Sonnen tapping out, set to the propulsive "Hate Me Now" by Nas....

Lorenzen Wright Found Dead In Memphis (UPDATES)
Former NBA player Lorenzen Wright, missing since the weekend, has been found In a wooded area in southeast Memphis. Police are also investigating a 911 hangup from Wright's cellphone that was made Monday....

A Dramatic Reenactment Of LeBron's Crazy Night In Vegas
The crew over at The Basketball Jones has meticulously reenacted part of the spiked Arash Markazi story. Unfortunately, it's not the part where LeBron wishes aloud that panty-less ladies were flying around him on wires. [The Basketball Jones]...

A Short Video Tribute To Diego Maradona, The Manager
As mentioned yesterday, the World Cup 2010 will be remembered for three things - vuvuzelas, a terrible match ball, and Larissa Riquelme's mobile phone deftly positioned between her enormous bosoms. But one thing was glaringly left out—Diego Maradona....

Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Matthew Berry's Friend Hooking Up With An Oscar-Winning Actress
I-Team: Assemble! Today's mystery revolves around The Talented Mr. Roto's adventures In Hollywoodland. Turns out one of Matthew Berry's friends pulled a much better-looking woman than Berry thought possible, and Berry is keeping the details in a lock box....

Ahmadinejad Says Paul The Octopus Spreading "Western Propaganda And Superstition"
Iran's president accused Paul of representing all that's wrong with western society, in multiple speeches over the weekend. No, I think that was Dutch soccer. [Daily Telegraph via Unprofessional Foul]...

Last Night's Winner: The Year Of The "Year Of The Pitcher" Stories
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all those people writing all those "year of the pitcher" stories, for whom Matt Garza's no-hitter provided more anecdotal evidence of a trend that probably doesn't exist....

Real Madrid Man Announces Liverpool Move On Facebook (UPDATE: It's A Hoax!)
Of course, in the parallel universe known as "cyberspace" there are no secrets, so whilst Liverpool appear to be keeping schtum on any recent transfer activity, the Dutchman Royston Drenthe thought he'd throw caution to the wind, and announce his new job to his Facebook "friends". ...

A Video Compilation Of Dads Catching Foul Balls While Holding Their Babies
Saturday's Cubs-Cardinals game featured one of the greatest sights in baseball: a father taking a risk and catching a foul ball while holding a baby. In honor of that man's brave baby imperiling, here's a salute to those glory-hound patres familias....

Intern Horrors: An NBA Legend Made Me Trash A Dressing Room
Welcome back to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein the lowest of the workforce low air grievances or have grievances aired against them. This week, dealing with legends, joyriding on a motorized Razr scooter, and working a car to death....

Deadspin Classic: Stephon Marbury Is Puzzled By My Godlessness
Contrary to earlier reports out of China, Stephon Marbury says he's still holding out hope of signing with the Heat. Three years ago, I sat down with Marbury, and the two of us discussed other providential matters....

Classy Penalty Causes Something Of An Internet Stir
Without deliberately attempting to garner any sympathy, the internet is a tough place to work — chiefly because you have to compete with nakedness, love makers, and bustling online auction houses before you can get your own tiny slice of the action....

It's Okay To Make Fun Of Lance Armstrong Again
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Here's Video of Ron-Ron Artest Learning to Play Dodgeball
Wasn't there, but I think he's the tall fellow with the red headband hiding behind the little girl. You know, like he does at the Staples Center. Zing!...