the Page 919 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Crazy Lady Elisabeth Hasselbeck Has Predictably Crazy Theory About Our Brett Favre Story
Barry mentioned this earlier, but here's video of Elisabeth Hasselbeck putting on her tin-foil hat and saying it's fishy that the Brett Favre story broke the week Favre was playing the Jets. It's the dumbest conspiracy theory Favre's junk has caused....
What They're Saying About Brett Favre's Penis Today
We're in full-on scandal mode now. Which media outlets have gone whole hog, and which have only gone sad, semi-flaccid hog? Here's your daily roundup of reactions....
The Carlton Dance Makes NFL Debut (Update)
Lions cornerback Alphonso Smith jumped this Sam Bradford pass and took it to the house, scoring six football points and infinity ridiculous dance points when he broke out everyone's favorite mid-'90s dance—"The Carlton Dance"—in the end zone....
Montenegro Striker Loses His Shorts In Goal Celebration
Montenegro met Switzerland in Euro 2012 qualifying on Friday with Roma striker Mirko Vucinic scoring the only goal of the game, a dinked 68' finish....
Liverpool FC Chairman Admires Winning Attitude Of The Boston Rod Sex
*Consults Freud textbooks*...
What They're Saying About Brett Favre's Penis Today
Certain outlets have taken this story and run with it; others have refused to touch it with a four-inch pole. Here's how the media is, erm, handling Brett Favre's junk....
Letter Chiding Baylor Students For Clogging Plumbing System With Semen Is Too Good To Be True, Alas
According to an anonymous tipster, the residence halls at Baylor were recently clogged with semen, leading to this desperate plea from one residence hall's director. Sadly, it's a fake, as our brief conversation with the hilariously put-upon director confirmed....
Teammate: Wayne Rooney Is "Working Class" And "Vulgar"
While most of us can't wait for this international break to be over, Man United's Federico Macheda will be hoping time goes really slowly while he's away with Italy's U21 squad, after making an "ill-advised" comment about his willy-swinging teammate Wayne Rooney....
The Imperfect Man Pitched A Perfect Game, Lost His Pants
Welcome to Private Stache, an occasional feature in which Andy Gray, keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, spotlights the sports photography of yesteryear, a time when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable....
That <em>ESPN The Mag</em> Story About Pooping Athletes Is Now Online
You've read the excerpts from David Fleming's epic about sporting incontinence. Now read the whole thing. It's fascinating....
This Backheel Goal Is The Best Goal You'll See Today
Our mates over at Off the Post have escalated the The Great Backheel War of 2010 by posting this piece of brilliance from Glentoran's Matty Burrows....
Matthew Berry Creates His Own "Fuck List"
Now, we didn't read through all of this, but we're pretty sure Matthew Berry is saying he fucked the San Francisco 49ers....
Mets Executive Thinks Mets Executives Failed, Will Miss Fired Executives
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Mets Chief Operating Officer Jeff Wilpon....
Danny Woodhead: Not Particularly Small, Just White
Last night, as was to be expected, Jon Gruden and the rest of the Monday Night Football gang talked about fun-sized pigment curio Danny Woodhead with the sort of insight and gravitas one finds on the cover of Bop Magazine....
<em>ESPN The Mag</em>'s Epic Tale About Pro Athletes Who Poop During Competition
Squished between the naked bodies of athletes comes this amazing story about some of their unfortunate bouts with uncontrollable gastrointestinal eruptions. Here are some excerpts from David Fleming's story, which will be online eventually. [UPDATE: It's online.]...
Who Wants To See A Photo Of Amar'e Stoudemire Jumping Naked Into A Pool?
It was you guys, right? That ESPN The Mag Body Issue, is really, uh, shaping up to be, uh, something. [via the seemingly appropriately named All Ball]...
Possibly Soon-To-Be Dead Wrestler Of The Week Needs Some Work
Here's a Craig's List ad from one professional wrestler looking for promotional work in the D.C. area. Hurry and act now, before his heart explodes....
President Of Bolivia Knees Political Rival In The Groin During Soccer Exhibition
Bolivia held a friendly match to commemorate the re-opening of the newly refurbished La Paz stadium on Sunday....
Cracking The Case Of The Oscar Winner Who Hooked Up With Matthew Berry's Friend
When we last checked in, Matthew Berry's friend had gotten some strange from a Hollywood actress and it was evidently a big deal—assuming Matthew Berry has friends who look like Matthew Berry. The case was cold, until now....
Cavs Beat Writer Is Taking His Talents To South Beach, ESPN
Suddenly it is clear to me. Brian Windhorst has changed. A new website. Starting Twitter. This announcement. This isn't the guy I know....