the Page 918 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Gareth Bale Can Still Beat Inter Milan On The Aggregate
Elderly midfielder Javier Zanetti became the oldest goalscorer in Champions League history when he opened proceedings after just two minutes, and Spurs found themselves 3-0 down within a quarter of an hour after keeper Gomes was sent off for bringing down Jonathan Biabany....
AC Milan-Real Madrid Match Interrupted With Fan On The Field Zaniness
Infamous pitch invader Jimmy Jump—not to be confused with the Laurence Fishburne chraracter from the Schooly D-heavy King of New York—claimed another scalp last night during the titanic clash between AC Milan and Real Madrid in the Champions League....
Backheel Goal Scorer Returns With More Fancy Goal Scorin'
Another all-worldie from Irish striker Matty Burrows of Glentoran FC. The terrible goalkeeping sort of takes the shine off this one, though....
What They're Saying About Brett Favre's Penis Today
The NFL's investigation is coming to a head. Old media types are still bemoaning the death of journalism. Everybody wants a piece of athlete dong....
Coach Would Rather Players Sleep Around Than Drink After Games
Roberto Mancini has made Eastlands the new preferred destination for football's top womanizers, after ordering his Manchester City players to put down their pint glasses and instead wrap their hands around a nice pert boob....
The Messiah College Lady's Soccer Team Will Not Tolerate Peeping Toms
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Baltimore Furry Commits Itself To Inspiring Marathoners
His name is Nate Sweeney. On days like today, when people run 26.2 miles through Baltimore, he dons a full-body tiger suit of synthetic fur and blasts Survivor....
Just A Warning To You Big Simpsons Fans Out There
An Idaho man pleaded guilty to downloading Simpsons porn. He faces 10 years in federal prison. His lawyer worked on contingency? No, money down!...
Funbag Bonus: Did The Chilean Miners Masturbate?
The Chilean miners were all rescued, free now to breathe in air and have their medical benefits cut off three weeks from now. But screw that: Wuz they jackin' it?...
Soccer Team Signs 11-Year-Old
Premier League champeens Chelsea have negotiated a £10,000 + add-ons deal to sign an 11-year-old striker from League Two club Northampton Town....
John Salley Story Corner: All Rub, No Tug From The Hotel Masseuse
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: when massages go technically right....
Blinded To The Other "Blind Sides"
There are dozens, if not hundreds of cases of white families taking in black athletes. Why don't their stories capture the imagination like Michael Lewis's tome did? America's Sweetheart Sandra Bullock, duh. [Slate]...
What They're Saying About Brett Favre's Penis Today
As the league's investigation rolls on, it's time for the media to hammer all the angles and the pundits to weigh in. Whose coverage hits it on the head, and whose comes up short?...
Police Find Serbia’s Infamous Masked Hooligan Hiding In Bus Luggage Compartment
By now we're sure you've already seen video of the hooligan-inspired trouble which forced Tuesday's Euro 2012 qualifier between Italy and Serbia to be called off after 7 minutes....
Horrible Spoof Video Faceoff: "Teach Me How To Bucky" vs. "Teach Me How To Duckie"
I can't even work up the energy to make snarky comments about either of these. I'll just leave them here, where hopefully, they'll never escape....
Lionel Messi’s Goals Look Just As Good Written Down
Here's the original version if you like your words to come with moving pictures....
What They're Saying About Brett Favre's Penis Today
At long last, the media has football-related Favre matters to write about. But did they cover his pick-6, or his pic-4"?...
Man Gets Full Football Jersey Tattoo To Honor Team Icon
The poor bastard in the chair is Felipe Alvarez, an Atletico Nacional supporter who has decided to pay homage to murdered club legend Andres Escobar by having a replica Atletico shirt tattooed across his torso, complete with Escobar's number on the back....
"Boom Goes The Dynamite" Kid Lands On His Feet
When we last checked in on Brian "No One Knows My Real Name" Collins, he was the victim of downsizing at a Waco TV station. Well, he's back, at the ABC affiliate in Alexandria, Minn. We wish him the best. [KSAX]...
The Onslaught Of Customized Favre Jerseys Begins
Brett Favre just threw his 500th and 501st career touchdowns....