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Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Adonal Foyle
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the feature where we look at video love letters to players that are even less deserving than usual. Today's subject: NBA big man Adonal Foyle—who announced today that he's retiring—set to "Age of Aquarius." ...

Green Man Finally Wears Appropriate Color, Though Not Size
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Patrick Kane Is More Alcohol Than Man At This Point
It's apparently Patrick Kane week here at Deadspin. So please accept this dump of assorted drunken sightings of the Blackhawks hero tooling around with Jimmy Buffett, rocking the flat-brimmed Reds cap, and getting "iced."...

Craig Bellamy Banned From Training With Man City
There used to be a time when The Spoiler, along with the rest of the planet, hated Craig Bellamy with a seething, unhealthy passion....

Big Yankees Fan, Evoking Lady Gaga, Says We All Missed His Video's Comedic Subtleties
I know a lot has changed in the past 24 hours, but surely you remember Michael LaPayower's homage to pride, power, pinstripes and Derek Jeter. If not, take a moment to reacquaint yourself....

Is Jorge Posada a Stone-Cold Killer?
Here's slo-mo footage of the Yankees catcher's home-run yesterday at whatever field the Kansas City Royals "play" on....

Chris Chambers, Chris Chambers' Stalker Have Been Pronounced Husband and Wife
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter’s anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dead Wrestler's Society Accepts New Member
Lance McNaught, aka former WWE wrestler Lance Cade or Garrison Cade, died Friday morning in San Antonio. He'd apparently been taken to the hospital for trouble breathing on Tuesday but asked to be released Wednesday....

Being Dave Matthews: A Brief History
1985: "Robert Randolph" on the birth certificate, but he'll go by "Randy." That's the original plan. Named after his grandfathers. Then Dad starts having doubts. He's a Robert too—doesn't want his son to be Little Bob or Bobby like he had been. So one day, it just hits my parents. "David Andrew." Da...

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Chris Kaman
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the feature where we examine the fan-made video love letters to their favorite athletes and the baffling music choices that are added in post-production. Today's lucky subject: Los Angeles Clipper Chris Kaman....

I Was There: Ripping On "Taking Back Sunday"
Here's a good one from the #iwasthere section. Continue to add your own concert/music memories throughout the weekend....

The Spoiler’s 10 Premier League Predictions
Get really excited everyone—the Premier League is back! This is wonderful news, and hopefully a couple of decent weekends will blow away the awful cobwebs left behind by a very disappointing World Cup....

Manchester United Sign A Talented, Young Homeless Guy (UPDATE)
In a real life football reimagining of Charles Dickens's greatest novel-turned-musical, Oliver Twist, Sir Alex Ferguson has gotten all Mr Brownlow about it, and signed a former Homeless World Cup star for Man United....

Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security? Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security (UPDATE: Video Fixed)
This video shows some overzealous security person at a Los Angeles mall showing off his MMA classes on a possible shoplifter. Problem is, the purple-faced shoplifter is deaf, didn't hear the alarm, and...also may have paid for his items. [SmartCrew]...

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Austin Croshere
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater. Today's laughably out-of-place subject? Bill Walton absolutely loved saying his name: Austin Croshere. The song: "Bad Lands," by rappers Zion I & The Grouch....

Furry Tries To Legally Change His Name To "Boomer The Dog"
Gary Guy Mathews. A perfectly good name. But Mr. Mathews wants to officially be known as Boomer the Dog, to go along with his homemade fursuit....

Robinho Misses Out On Barca Move By Being Troublesome
Like an early 1990s Mickey Rourke, Robinho is increasingly looking like a man with buckets of talent who no one particularly wants to work with....

Crotch-Kicking Senate Nominee Linda McMahon Assailed From Right And Left As Crotch-Kicker
First came Connecticut GOP rival Peter Schiff's incredible campaign ad. Now comes this DNC statement about the former WWE CEO: "Today the party of Bob Dole, Jack Kemp and Dick Lugar nominated a candidate who kicks men in the crotch..."...

Great Moments In Brick Wall Anthemry: “In The Fade”
All during Music Week at Deadspin, I'll be writing about great asskicking songs of yore. Today, it's "In The Fade" by Queens Of The Stone Age....

Hot Piece Of Ass Who Quit Job Was Probably A Stunt
Today, all The Internet wanted to talk about was Jet Blue Guy's zany escape from employment—or the press's red-faced descriptions of how the police found him—and all of a sudden Dry Erase Board Girl came out of nowhere. She's fake....