thed Page 53 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Russell Wilson's Wife Provides Us With Our Favorite Face Of The Draft
Seattle chose quarterback Russell Wilson in the third round of last night's NFL Draft, and his wife of three months was so excited she immediately began the metamorphosis to boa constrictor....

This Is The Face Of A Hockey Player
Veteran Panthers center John Madden took friendly fire in the first period of last night's Game 7 matchup with New Jersey last night, leaving bits of himself on the ice and suffering the sort of injury that generally knocks most other athletes out of competition. Most other athletes, of course, are...

Suns Fans Celebrate The Career Of Steve Nash With A Giant Drawing Of A Penis
Steve Nash becomes an unrestricted free agent this offseason, and since the Suns didn't qualify for the playoffs, his offseason essentially started last night. Suns fans came out to lament his departure (or beg him to stay) including at least one who decided the occasion called for a display of a g...

New Era's "Chicago Vs. Chicago" Spot Is Actually Set At A Hoboken Bar
Official MLB cap provider New Era's launched a series of ads titled "Chicago Vs. Chicago" in which popular character actors Nick Offerman and Craig Robinson argue over the merits of the Cubs versus the White Sox. This debate takes place, as we're led to believe in an establishing shot, in a Chicago...

SNY Is Now Trolling Its Own Audience
It's bad enough that the Giants swept the Mets in yesterday's twin bill (starring Jason Bay!). The injury came with insult, though, in the form of this fullscreen outlining exactly how successful Mets pitchers have become once they've elevated themselves to ex-Met status (the most recent, of course...

ESPN's Infinite Big Board Shows You All The Upcoming NBA Games, Forever
Yo dawg, we heard you like the NBA Big Board so we put the NBA Big Board in your NBA Big Board so you can look at upcoming games while you look at upcoming games....

Red Sox Fan Really Wants You To See His Nipple
We're guessing this fellow wasn't feeling so flash-y an inning or so later....

These Brewers Fans Are Especially Concerned About What's On Tap
At first glance, this appears to be your regular "colorful" couple, found in ballparks across the country. Then you realize the guy has a bat, and the entire nature of the evening changes....

Clearly, Steroids Are Still A Problem In Major League Baseball
Witness the physique of the hero known only as The Mighty K.C., who terrorizes the children who can be found amongst the 100, 200, 300, 400, 500, or 600 fans who are just there, there, at Safeco Field; having done his work, he heads off into the great unknown....

Lucha Libre Cubs Fan Hasn't Won <em>Campeonato Consejo Mundial</em> Since 1908
The Marlins crushed the Cubs 9-1 last night in front of an announced 25,000 spectators, one of which was this Cubs fan in headgear we can't imagine is particularly comfortable in the Miami heat. But hey, at least he got to see this a few times....

The Dark Knight Rises, And So Do Our Trousers: The Grierson & Leitch Summer Movie Preview
Back in 1991, your esteemed Grierson & Leitch, then both 16 years old, sat down with this issue of Entertainment Weekly and planned out our holidays. We did not have Box Office Mojo's release calendar, and the Mattoon, Illinois local newspaper wouldn't tell you what movies were playing at the Cinema...

Miami TV Station Congratulates The Florida International University Panthers On Their Stanley Cup Playoff Win
The Florida Panthers took a 2-1 series lead over the New Jersey Devils with an astonishing 4-3 win that came after falling behind 3-0 in the first period. It's understandable, then, that the story led off the 10:00 news on Miami's WSVN; perhaps unaccustomed to hockey success, they got a few details...

Here's The Only Woman In New York Unimpressed By Derek Jeter
The Yankees fell to .500 on the season with a 7-3 home loss to Minnesota last night, though Derek Jeter continued his hot hitting with two knocks—including a leadoff homer in the bottom of the first. All that, though, wasn't enough to impress this lass in the Legend Seats....

There Was A Clown In Courtside Seats At MSG Yesterday, And For Once It Wasn't Donald Trump
Despite another strong game from Carmelo Anthony, the New York Knicks dropped their third straight this season to the Heat yesterday 93-85, a result we're sure put a sad face on all Knicks fans in attendance—at least those who didn't, you know, show up with a face already painted on....

Bearded Batman Drinks Heineken, Probably Does Not Fight Crime
So Batman's a hockey fan, and definitely not the Lamborghini Batman or the Michigan Batman, at least today. But lest you forget, you better believe he's The Goddamn Batman....

This Resizing Of The Batter's Box Sponsored By <em>The Three Stooges</em>
Yesterday's White Sox home opener against the Tigers was delayed when Detroit slugger Miguel Cabrera noticed the batter's boxes weren't in the right place, leading to the above display of buffoonery. Cabrera's at-bat (which came after consecutive Jake Peaky strikeouts) was pushed back nearly nine m...

This Texas Rangers Fan Can Do Amazing Things With Her Mouth
And yet this is still only the second-weirdest face ever to appear in the background behind erstwhile sideline reporter Jim Knox. (This would be the weirdest.)...

They Learn The Art Of Trolling At A Young Age In Vancouver
This young Canucks fan just couldn't help but give Kings coach Darryl Sutter a piece of his mind—or, at least, his mouth—during a break in the action of last night's Stanley Cup playoff opening game of the L.A.-Vancouver series. (He's got some good role models for that kind of behavior, after all.)...

Just Three More Months Until <em>The Dark Knight Rises</em>, Folks
It always seems like the summer movie season begins earlier every year, but it doesn't, not really. The unofficial beginning in 2012 is May 4, when The Avengers—a movie that's so big, apparently, that it turned massive tentpole films like Iron Man 2 and Thor into, essentially, prequels—opens wide, f...

Why Yes, This Human-Chicken-Squid Hybrid Is A Cubs Fan
Ronnie Tomaszewski was skipping yet another of his classes at North Park University when he remembered it was Thursday already and he was a bit short on cash for what was sure to be a big weekend of partying. A few of his fraternity brothers had testified to the easy money of that old college stand...