thed Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

<em>ESPN The Mag</em>'s Epic Tale About Pro Athletes Who Poop During Competition
Squished between the naked bodies of athletes comes this amazing story about some of their unfortunate bouts with uncontrollable gastrointestinal eruptions. Here are some excerpts from David Fleming's story, which will be online eventually. [UPDATE: It's online.]...

Not A Good Weekend For Ankles And Legs In The Premier League
This post, written by Richard Gilzene, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

LeBron Says The Backlash Against Him Had "A Race Factor"
LeBron James and Maverick Carter offered that as a partial explanation for the negative publicity he's gotten this summer. I don't think anyone's gone the race route on this yet (besides Jesse Jackson), but what do you know? Here we are....

Bengals Cheerleader Does Not Have Venereal Diseases, Court Says
Holy gonorrhea! Bengals cheerleader Sarah Jones won $11 million from a libel suit against The Dirty.com, which ran an item alleging she was all jacked-up with STD's courtesy of her bed-hopping ex-boyfriend. Not so.[Cincinnati.com]...

Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security? Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security (UPDATE: Video Fixed)
This video shows some overzealous security person at a Los Angeles mall showing off his MMA classes on a possible shoplifter. Problem is, the purple-faced shoplifter is deaf, didn't hear the alarm, and...also may have paid for his items. [SmartCrew]...

Furry Tries To Legally Change His Name To "Boomer The Dog"
Gary Guy Mathews. A perfectly good name. But Mr. Mathews wants to officially be known as Boomer the Dog, to go along with his homemade fursuit....

Deadspin Classic: Cats Playing Soccer? Cats Playing Soccer
In the summer of 2010, the World Cup captured the attention of this humble sports blog and it was only a matter of time before the Internet produced the perfect viral video to celebrate the event....

Deadspin Classic: Stephon Marbury Is Puzzled By My Godlessness
Contrary to earlier reports out of China, Stephon Marbury says he's still holding out hope of signing with the Heat. Three years ago, I sat down with Marbury, and the two of us discussed other providential matters....

ESPN Actually Spoofs Itself With Bill Simmons's <em>The Decision</em>
The Sports Fella took to Beadle & Colin's Smile Time Shit-Sack Variety Hour yesterday to announce whether he would renew his season tickets to the Clippers in a parody of that LeBron thing. There's more self-criticism here than Ohlmeyer's last column....

Your Final Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup
It's been a wild ride this past month, hasn't it? Let's take one last look at the goals from the third-place and final games of the World Cup with some assistance from music that isn't even close to being culturally sensitive....

Timofey Mozgov Is Cocksucker
Today is day Timofey Mozgov becomes most unlikable person in Russian Basketball Super League, and perhaps all Russian sports. I think he is okay a year ago. No more. He is villain now....

Counterpoint: LeBron James Is Not A Cocksucker
Yesterday, a guy who spent seven seasons with the team that drafted him announced he wanted to play basketball with his friends and win a lot of games. He wanted this so badly that he was willing to take a pay cut....

LeBron James Is A Cocksucker
Tomorrow is the day LeBron James becomes the most unlikable person in the NBA, and perhaps all of American sports. I used to think he was okay a year ago. No more. He's the villain now....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For July 7
The final game—and shameful, shameful third-place game—is set. But before we get to the prognosticating, let's look at today's, um, goal, scored to music in a culturally benighted manner. Tune: Kid Frost....

Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For July 6
Before today's big game, let's look back on yesterday's action, and let's be really culturally insensitive while we're at it. Enjoy....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup, July 2-3
Before our first semifinal match today, let's look back on the weekend's action with all the goals scored to music that might offend the more culturally sensitive among you. Enjoy....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 29
Two hard-fought games today. Paraguay bested Japan on PKs and Spain grinded out a 1-0 victory over Portugal. Grinded, schminded. Let's relive the "ese" countries' ousters with goal videos wrapped in a tight layer of cultural insensitivity. To the tape!...

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 28
The Netherlands and Brazil did what we expected yesterday and dominated Slovakia and Chile, respectively, each side managing a handful of very fancy goals. But fancy, schmancy. Their athletic prowess is no match for our cultural ignorance. Let's go to the video....

Your Culturally Insensitive Weekend World Cup Goal Roundup, June 26-27
The U.S. and England bowed out of the tournament this weekend, while Germany and Argentina showed they might be the two best squads left. Exciting as it was, everyone seemed to act sensitively—in regards to culture, that is. No more!...