theo Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What's The Wildest Conspiracy Theory You Actually Believe?
Today, rapper B.o.B took to Twitter with a conspiracy theory, and that conspiracy theory was that Earth is in fact flat. It was a wild theory, and it made us wonder: What’s the wildest conspiracy you actually can kind of get behind?...
Some Theories About Bill Belichick's Mysterious Black Eye
Patriots head coach Bill Belichick showed up to his press conference this morning sporting a shiner above his left eye. He didn’t bother to explain how he got it, so we’ve come up with a few educated guesses....
Theo Epstein Is Getting Everything He Wants
On Tuesday night, Cubs GM Theo Epstein signed Ben Zobrist, one of the most versatile and consistently productive players in baseball, to a four-year, $56 million deal. Just now, he snatched up the best outfielder on the market, 26-year-old Jason Heyward, with a deal reportedly worth $185 million ove...
Who Is Paul Dunne? Your Guide To Golf's Hottest Amateur
Unless you’re a huge UAB men’s golf fan, chances are you didn’t know who Paul Dunne was before this weekend. So let’s get caught up to speed....
Amateur Leads At The Open After Three Rounds For First Time Since 1927
Former UAB golfer Paul Dunne shot a 6-under 66 at St. Andrews on Sunday, putting him at 12-under for the tournament and tied for the lead after 54 holes, the first time an amateur has led The Open at St. Andrews after three rounds since Bobby Jones in 1927. ...
Tiger Woods Misses Cut In Back-To-Back Majors For First Time
Tiger Woods missed the cut at The Open by seven strokes after shooting a second round 75 Saturday. It’s the second straight major championship Woods has failed to reach the end of, the first time in his career he’s missed the cut at consecutive majors. ...
The Wind Is Wreaking Havoc At St. Andrews, Round 2 Play Suspended
The second round of The Open was suspended again Saturday morning due to high-speed winds. Round 2 is still scheduled to be completed Saturday, but the tournament is expected to spill over past the weekend and wrap up on Monday. ...
Arrested Ex-FIFA VP Cites <i>The Onion</i> In Strange Self-Defense Video
Today in Dumb FIFA Man, arrested ex-VP Jack Warner tried to thank his supporters and clear his name during a strange Facebook video in which he cites a report from The Onion to prove FIFA’s generosity. ...
How To Win Your First Week At A New Job
The nice thing about a new job is that it probably won’t start sucking immediately. It’ll be easy at first—kind of like the first week of class, where the only thing expected of you is your presence and appropriate clothing (anything beyond pajamas). But unlike the first week of school, your first w...
A Good Michael Scott Moment
This is an underrated, fantastic Michael Scott moment. He looks like he's about to break at a few points. It's perfect....
Russell Wilson’s Ball-Bread Is Fucking Weird
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering failed romantic gestures, Oscar stuff, hamburgers and sex, and more....
The Biblical Theory Of Why Fat Rappers Should Stay That Way
There's a story in the Bible about a guy named Samson, a very strong man with very long hair that had never been cut—and when it finally did get chopped off, he lost all his strength. It's the same thing with fat rappers....
Anonymous Seahawk Blames Final Play Call On Anti-Lynch Conspiracy
It's important to try and understand the bone-deep despair that has no doubt infected the Seattle Seahawks before judging their postgame comments. A certain madness can come from a gut-punch like the one they suffered in the final seconds of Super Bowl XLIX, and that madness can lead to people sayin...
Column About Russell Westbrook Disappears, Comes Back With New Ending
The Oklahoman's Berry Tramel received the brunt of Russell Westbrook's ire when the point guard got surly on Friday night—Tramel is the one who Westbrook was addressing when he said, "I don't like you"—and this morning he published a column about the whole kerfuffle. Apparent technical issues made...
The Fuck Is Wrong With LeBron? Some Theories
Holy shit, the Cavaliers are 1-3! ONE AND THREE! OH MY GOD, CLEVELAND IS CLEVELANDING ALL OVER ITSELF AGAIN! Now, listen: I know that newly assembled teams like this need time to gel, and that the NBA regular season is fucking stupid, and that the Heat struggled in a similar fashion at first with...
Michael Beasley Reduced To Status As Kevin Durant Flunky
At one point early on in The Offseason: Kevin Durant, that HBO reality show aimed at getting its star better endorsement deals, walking brand Kevin Durant flies some of his buddies out to Los Angeles, where they intend to stay for the summer. We're introduced to Childhood Friend Cliff Dixon, Manager...
Fuck Kevin Durant
Tomorrow night, the world will be subjected to The Offseason: Kevin Durant, an HBO show marketed as a documentary that depicts what The Servant has been up to since the end of the Western Conference Finals. You might think it would be interesting, seeing that over the summer Durant (briefly) played ...
You Like Bacon Because <em>They</em> Told You To
You are a North American, and probably a male, and so you like bacon. Bacon good, you say, making that Tim Allen caveman face: Me like bacon. Me not want to eat unbacon food. Bacon make food better. Me put bacon on burger, in chocolate, around scallop. Me brush teeth with bacon toothpaste. Me make l...
The <em>Observer</em> Absolutely Eviscerates Cutesy New Fried Chicken Joint
Pete Wells, take note: This is how you do a scathing restaurant review....
Manny Ramirez Was A Huge Success As A Player-Coach
The grand Manny Ramirez experiment has come to an end. After three months as player-instructor for the triple-A Iowa Cubs, Ramirez's season ended on Friday with a knee injury. The 42-year-old was rarely healthy and can't really hit anymore, but Ramirez's minor-league stint went a long way toward sho...