theo Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yes, Tiger’s sexist joke and lame apology matter
I didn’t plan on writing anything about Tiger Woods’ stupid, sexist, juvenile joke with pal Justin Thomas at the Genesis Invitational last week. After all, lots of people have already written about it more eloquently than I will. If you missed the moment, Woods handed Thomas a tampon during the firs...

‘Ambassador’ Karl Malone, bumbling Knicks, and more forgettable moments from All-Star Saturday Night
All-Star Saturday has always had cookout vibes, and McClung earned another invite for next year. But someone had to bring the unseasoned cole slaw. Karl Malone’s presence as an ambassador and a judge who got entirely too many nods from the NBA and the broadcast made things way too awkward. Malone — ...

<i>Power Slap </i>sucks so<i> </i>we've conceived 10 'combat sports' shows we'd rather watch
Have you watched Power Slap: Road to the Title on TBS? Highly recommended for torturing prisoners of war. It’s awful and I wrote about just how infuriating the show is at length. Something about the mind-numbing act of unprotected slaps to the face did get me thinking of combat sports that would do ...

'Visit Saudi' sponsorship furthers FIFA’s tone-deaf record ahead of Women’s World Cup
The Women’s World Cup is nearing, and as is tradition, FIFA marked the occasion with controversy. Host countries Australia and New Zealand are urging the soccer federation to back out of its sponsorship with Visit Saudi. The main issue with the deal is Saudi Arabia’s ever-present, awful record of wo...

Qualifying for Copa America 2024 should only help the USMNT
Here’s a compliment sandwich. The 2024 Copa America, South America’s premier international soccer tournament, will again be played in the United States after America hosted the showcase for the first time in 2016. Despite being the host nation, the USMNT hasn’t directly qualified to play in the even...

John Wall hasn’t forgotten about (allegedly) being dissed by Tyler Hansbrough
There were few more highly touted prospects in the one-and-done era of men’s College Basketball than John Wall. Born and raised in Raleigh, N.C., it would make sense that he would want to attend the University of North Carolina. However, Wall alleges that a meeting with 2008-09 National Player of th...

Here are our NHL midseason awards
Handing out awards in the middle of the season is always a little silly, because just about anyone can spasm 40 games of brilliance. But hey, we’re here to be silly! So it feels like a great time to go over the first half of the NHL season and see who is the leader in the clubhouse for the baubles h...

Could Derek Carr be the next Matthew Stafford?
What determines a Super Bowl-caliber quarterback? Stats? The eye test? System compatibility? It’s hard to determine, and it’s arguably impossible to determine, especially for quarterbacks stuck in terrible situations for the majority of their careers. Matthew Stafford was lucky enough to find a way ...

I fear I may never know joy and happiness like Andrés Cantor
Maybe years ago, like a couple decades, Andrés Cantor was something of a cartoon to non-soccer fans with his outsized “GOOOOOOOOOOOOL!” calls making the rounds on various highlight shows as evidence of how silly soccer was to the agnostics and why it should never be bothered with....

Alexander Ovechkin, the 'GR8 One'
Alexander Ovechkin is the best pure goal-scorer in NHL history. That’s not up for debate. The longtime Washington Capital hasn’t been hockey’s best player for years, but his ability to put the puck in the back of the net is nearly as good as it was 15 years ago when he scored 65 goals during the 200...

World Cup 2022 Diary: Day 25 - Morocco's historic run comes to an end
What if you just Morocco’d Morocco?...

From drug suspension to blunt ambassador, Ricky Williams is rolling his own path
RICKY WILLIAMS was sitting on a couch in a smoke-filled room, blazing a joint to celebrate his cannabis lifestyle brand “Highsman” during one of the biggest sports weekends of the year. ...

What’s next for the USMNT?
You know it’s over when your star midfielder is showing up courtside at Miami Heat games. Or the rumors of contract talks with the manager are heating up, while he tries to gain leverage by whispering about European club jobs. Time to call for the Lyft officially....

The constant need for a ‘smoking gun’ to prove racism is why Jerry Jones will get off scot-free
According to the policy, Jerry Jones hasn’t done anything wrong. That’s because anti-Blackness is never a crime....

World sporting events are becoming a different kind of guilty pleasure
While this World Cup is unlike any other due to the start time and Middle East location, there is a recent world competition that comes to mind. Think about it. Climate unfit to host the event, haphazard accommodations, stories of government overreach, and sportswashing. That sounds like the Beijing...

PTI’s Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon tried to teach us a lesson four years ago
One of the most important lessons I was ever taught by my parents was this sentence that I heard over and over again as a small child: “The world doesn’t revolve around you Stephen.”...

Early returns for NBA stars… returning
While it’s too early to define the theme of this NBA season, the first week-plus has showcased stars returning from serious injuries. Damian Lillard, Zion Williamson, Jamal Murray, and Kawhi Leonard all saw their first action after lengthy absences, and the reviews have been all over the place....

Here's an idea Rory, stop talking about the Saudi Tour
This week on the Real Golf Pros of Saudi Arabia, Rory McIlroy says the feud between the PGA and LIV Golf is “out of control.” The new world No. 1 was asked yet again about the upstart competitor and, as he always does, didn’t shy away from warning fans that this fissure will soon become unfixable — ...

Brittney Griner loses appeal, nine-year sentence upheld by Russian court
Today, a Russian court upheld the nine-year sentence for WNBA player Brittney Griner. Nine years for a small amount of cannabis oil in her luggage. ...
