this Page 31 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Baron Davis Says He Wasn't Making A Smoking Gesture When He Made That Smoking Gesture
Baron Davis and his agent, Todd Ramasar, got smoke in their eyes over the suggestion that Davis had mimicked toking a spliff after knocking down a 3-pointer during the Knicks' loss to the Nets on Monday night. Davis first got high and mighty on Twitter last night in an attempt to clear the air:...

Italian Copy Editor Won't Let A Day Go By Without Offering An Apology For "Chink In The Armor" Headline
Anthony Federico, the editor behind ESPN's notorious Jeremy Lin headline, took to long-form Twitter today to apologize:...

Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is Only $17.20, Because He Overpaid By $30.45 Last Month
The $27.40 sewer fee is also the lowest it's been in months. Nothing wrong with that....

Won't Someone In Pittsburgh Give Antonio Brown A Ride From The Airport Tomorrow?
Taxis in Pittsburgh are notoriously fickle compared to other cities, and the airport flyer bus can be a bit of a pain if you've got bags. [via]...

Tebowing In The Age Of Lin: A Complete-That-Caption Contest
When tipster Taylor B. sent this photo in at 8:38 p.m., Feb. 14, 2012, he did two things wrong. First, he wrote, "Trust me, my mom thought this was actually a really sweet idea," and that's nothing but a preemptive strike. Second, the subject line of the email was "A family that Tebows together..."...

Some Dude From Brooklyn Who Thinks He's A Jedi Master Is Whining About His Light Saber Getting Stolen
"The Bedford-Stuyvesant engineer was at a Myrtle Avenue bar last fall when a thief snatched what Obi-Wan Kenobi once described as 'an elegant weapon for a more civilized age' - a $400 custom sword Michael used to teach young Jedi honor and self-esteem. 'Who steals somebody's light saber? It's like ...

Man Named Tom Brady Says Thing, Radio Station Reports
"I'm Tom Brady, I'm from Staten Island and I predict Giants will prevail," Tom Brady told some poor reporter at 1010 WINS who drew the short straw. When you're scraping the bottom of Rick Reilly's barrel for Super Bowl week stories, it's probably time to rethink things....

A Graphic Guide To Understanding <em>USA Today</em>'s Purchase Of The Big Lead
The old new paradigm got a piece of a newer paradigm this week, as once-revolutionary USA Today acquired the Big Lead. What does this mean? Blog posts slipped under your hotel-room door? We pulled some numbers from the press release to illustrate how it all might fit together....

Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Has An Additional Year-End Fee Of $90
We can't think what else the disproportionate $89.55 "miscellaneous" charge could be....

The Sad State Of The Modern Baseball Blooper
At Hang Up and Listen Comes Alive! here in New York last week, regular panelist Mike Pesca devoted his Afterball to a very important issue: the continued deterioration of This Week in Baseball, the Fox program that airs on Saturday afternoons during the MLB season. Once upon a time it was Bowie Ku...

Homemade Infographic: Google Images Isn't Excited About The Los Angeles Clippers Yet
Have Chris Paul and Blake Griffin led Los Angeles's No. 2 NBA team into a new era of respect and recognition yet? Here's an analysis of results from a Google Images search for "Clippers": ...

Scrappy White Guys: Not Just For Baseball Anymore
NBA.com released its annual GM survey, and there's a cornucopia of fun little items, like the fact that nobody would want to build a franchise around Kobe, but they want him taking the last shot. Tucked in at the bottom is one vaguely worded question: "Which player does the most with the least?" The...

What If Tim Tebow Had A Baby With White Michael Vick?
The spiritual and genetic descendant of this and this....

Darth Vader Defeated A Taser But Succumbed To Pepper Spray In Orlando Last Week
From ClickOrlando, and via tipster Joshua K., comes this tale about how "a Florida Highway Patrol trooper was attacked in Orlando early Thursday by a man wearing a Darth Vader mask."...

"Joe Pa" Is Managing A Papa John's In Pittsburgh
Tipster Steve P. just sent in an email with the subject line "Oh how the mighty have fallen..." The Pitt alum figured people would like to know that when he called the Papa John's in the Dormont section of Steelerville, he learned his "pizza experience [is] managed by joe pa." You know, just in cas...

Heading Into 2012, Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is Once Again Past Due
Bad news for Oddibe. With the new year approaching, he still hasn't paid his water bill. More as the situation warrants....

Breaking Down The Football In <i>The Dark Knight Rises</i>
It's nerd Christmas, as the trailer for The Dark Knight Rises was released today to the orgiastic squeals of the internet. There's plenty to take in: Bane's unintelligible speech, Anne Hathaway's vie to become the first woman since Michelle Pfeiffer to actually add something to a superhero movie—b...

The Foolproof Way To Find Out How Many Women Wear Thongs
Your morning roundup for Dec. 7, the day we learned the alien search is back on. Photo via Fox DC. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Brian Cashman The Elf, Ken Rosenthal The Ninja, And Other Rumblings Around The Hot Fucking Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall.) This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...
