this Page 35 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's Not The Heat, It's The Humididong
Mitch Butler and Josh Landis couldn't even get through a simple 2:05 CBS Early Show segment exploring the nuances of humidity without slapping a big old phallic symbol up on the screen, and one with a rapidly increasing temperature, no less....

The Pirates' 'Formal Complaint' Over Last Night's Call Will Accomplish What, Exactly? (Update)
Absolutely nothing. But that hasn't stopped pandering homers like this in the Pittsburgh media from clamoring for the front office to "let them know the Pirates are through getting kicked around." Because nothing's gonna get the suits at MLB headquarters to bend to the Pirates' will quite like an e...

BREAKING: Hall Of Famer, Admitted T-Shirt Thief Roberto Alomar Will Return The T-Shirt He Stole
Perhaps you read our story earlier today, of Blue Jays fans Fiyaz Kanji and Owais Farooqui, who made the pilgrimage to Cooperstown this weekend to see Roberto Alomar enter the Hall. But during the parade, Alomar took the $50 t-shirt that belonged to Kanji....

Breaking: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is $171.45, But That's Because He Didn't Pay Last Month's Bill
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....

You Can Say "Circumcising Mosquitoes" On <em>PTI</em>, But You Can't Say It Thrice
The gentlemen on Pardon The Interruption exceeded the quota for the amount of times one can say some variation of the phrase "circumcising mosquitoes" on live television today. Cowlishaw, quoting (and imitating) Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, gets in two mentions, but Wilbon never gets his chance. The...

Justin Timberlake At The All-Star Game: Drunk, Sarcastic, Drunk-Sarcastic, Or Just Obnoxious?
Justin Timberlake has redeemable qualities, doesn't he? He can sing and dance, he is a good SNL host, and he reportedly even has feelings. All this is more than we can say about Joe Buck. So no matter your opinion of the former boy band front-teen, he deserves some credit for agreeing to a live-br...

Jose Canseco Knows What He Wants And Is Not Afraid To Ask The World For It
Day Two of the latest Jose Canseco sad-clown meltdown saw him preaching from the mountaintop ("Be careful with woman who show off there tits and ass and think that's a career"), real-talking ("I will never forget or forgive what u said to me leila ur evil"), serving as the phone company's Green Pag...

In His Latest Meltdown, Jose Canseco Decided To Publicize His Girlfriend's Phone Number, Drug Of Choice
What started with Jose Canseco's Thursday announcement that "I am asking leila shennib to marry me .will you marry me" has somehow gone off the rails. Imagine that....

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Read A Book Called <em>Chess Tactics For Champions</em> While At Bonnaroo
Add another three-week-old update on Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's unheralded appearance at the Bonnaroo music festival earlier this month: he was reading a book called Chess Tactics for Champions while waiting for his panel....

One Green-Jersey'd Schmo Gesticulates Wildly On Behalf Of All Knicks Fans
We know, guy. We know....

Alert: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is $105.40
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....

A List Of People To Whom The Internet Has Compared Kyle Singler
Some comparisons, culled from the Internet in advance of Kyle Singler's being drafted approximately one round too early tomorrow. Sic'd:...

Karl Malone Has A Special Delivery: Sports Posters From The '80s Are Now Art
Alert the hoopsters! A series of sports lithographs created by John and Tock Costacos in the late 1980s are on display at Salon 94, a Manhattan gallery located on Freeman Alley in the Lower East Side, from June 23 until the end of July. There's an opening reception this Thursday night, from 6 to 8 p...

Dirk Nowitzki Dance Party!
Behold Dirk Nowitzki: America's favorite German, the NBA Finals MVP, the man who made being a mostly-unknown national hero look so easy, and the man who made a one-legged step-back jumper look even easier. But! We've unearthed one weakness. Dirk Nowitzki is a rather tortured booty-dropper....

<i>NY Daily News</i> Stretches "NFL Star" To Its Breaking Point
Here's the headline in today's New York Daily News: "Bret Lockett and Kim Kardashian? NFL star comes clean: ‘I never met Kim, but we sexted'." This is a report following up on In Touch's headline: "Five-month affair with NFL star Bret Lockett behind fiancé's back."...

EA Sports Celebrates <em>NCAA Football 12</em> with the Sexy Sax Man
You may have heard of him. (This video, uploaded in March, has more than 6 million views.) Sexy Sax Man is quite the guerrilla artist, barging in bare-chested on food courts, laundromats, Walmarts and college classrooms to belt out… [Kotaku] ...

Derek Jeter Leads AL Shortstops in All-Star Voting, NL Responds By Adding Extra Infielder
It's stupid to get angry at one particular casualty of the fans' All-Star Game voting, because they annually and reliably fail to select the deserving candidates at each position. But Derek Jeter's early accumulation of 40% more votes than the second-place AL shortstop is just too awful to let go....

The Handrail Slide Turns Deadly At Coors Field
A 27-year-old man died on Wednesday from injuries sustained in a fall as he was attempting to slide down a railing at Coors Field. Robert Seamans of Pueblo, Colo., was a committed Rockies fan. He was taken to Denver Health Medical Center immediately after the accident, where he was declared brain-de...

The Kim Kardashian Effect: Advanced Stats Show Why Kris Humphries Put A Ring On It
Nets forward Kris Humphries put up great numbers in the seventh season of his NBA career, his first as Kim Kardashian's beau. The couple announced their engagement (with a disturbing description of an "intimate family celebration" involving horses), and while there are no shortage of possible motive...

For Just $400,000, You Can Buy This Portland-Based Co-Ed Kickball Team
From Deadspin's Portland Bureau—tipster Scott—comes a rec league kickball story. Sorry. Keep in mind this Craigslist ad was originally all in caps:...