ti Page 1087 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tiger Woods, Who Remains Old And Fucked Up, Has Back Surgery
The Tiger Woods comeback season lasted all of four months. In December, Woods announced that he was once again healthy enough to play golf and even played in a PGA event. Two months later, he had to withdraw from a tournament due to back spasms. Today, Woods announced that he just had back surgery a...
This Is The Saddest Attempted Stadium Grift I've Ever Seen<em></em><em></em>
Earlier this week, the NCAA announced that the men’s and women’s basketball tournaments will be returning in 2022 to Cincinnati, Ohio, for the first time in over 30 years. The bid to bring back first- and second-round games was won by the owners of the former Riverfront Coliseum, the largest indoor ...
Mike Pence Is A Fucking Joke<em></em>
Say hello to our Elderly Lego Man Vice President, wearing his varsity Vice Presidenting jacket and standing, with an intensity reserved almost exclusively for constipation sufferers, near the Demilitarized Zone separating North and South Korea. Supposedly, Pence wasn’t meant to go outside during his...
Umpire CB Bucknor Is Having A Bad Week
On Tuesday, umpire CB Bucknor made an absolutely inexplicable call when he ruled Chase d’Arnaud’s game-ending strikeout as a foul tip and gave the Braves a second chance at beating the Nationals. Last night, he almost did it again, but was saved by fellow umpires....
It Was A (Mostly) Glorious Night For D.C. Sports
One of these things is not like the others....
Mike Gundy Remains Hilariously Attached To An Alternate History Of OSU's Season
Oklahoma State suffered one of the cruelest and most controversial losses of the college football season last September, when Central Michigan won on the final play with a wild hook-and-ladder lateral hail mary play....
Shaq's Large Teenage Son Will Play College Ball At Arizona
Last we heard from Shareef O’Neal, he was dunking over his father, Kazaam star Shaquille O’Neal. Shareef is a five-star power forward listed at 6-foot-8 and he’ll almost certainly grow some more, as he’s just a high school junior....
See If You Can Spot The Difference Between These Photos
This idea is shamelessly stolen from the Times’ sports desk....
Former Elite Gymnast Speaks Out Against Larry Nassar, Doctor Accused Of Sexually Abusing Dozens Of Athletes: "I Just Trusted Him"<em></em>
Yesterday, Kamerin Moore, a former junior elite gymnast, posted a powerful, wrenching video testimony detailing the sexual abuse she endured at the hands of former national team physician Dr. Larry Nassar, who is currently in jail awaiting trial on sexual assault charges as well as federal child por...
What It’s Like To Announce A Tennis Match That's Been Interrupted By Loud Sex Noises
Mike Cation heard a moan, and figured it was just two people in the stands talking loudly. The tennis announcer, working the USTA Pro Circuit’s Sarasota Open on Tuesday, looked at the crowd and saw everyone looking around. Then it became clear: This wasn’t two people talking. This was two people fuc...
Just What The Hell Is Going On In This Celtics-Bulls Series?
A few caveats: The Celtics should have never been a one seed in the first place, and only found themselves atop the Eastern Conference by default because the Cavs decided to play the second half of the season on horse tranquilizers. They are a solid but flawed team lacking in the kind of star power ...
Citing Family Reasons, Tom Brady Will Not Attend Patriots' White House Ceremony
Later today, the New England Patriots will celebrate their championship at the White House in a ceremony led by Donald Trump. A handful of players have already announced their intentions to skip the visit, some offering no public explanation, and other making it quite clear that it’s about politics....
Wow That Was Some Bizarre Umpiring In Nats-Braves
Yep, it was one of those CB Bucknor kind of nights. Bucknor, who has been named the worst umpire in baseball multiple times in player surveys, was behind the plate for last night’s 3-1 Nationals win over the Braves. Just where Bucknor thought that plate was is another story....
Sex Noises Briefly Derail Tennis Match In Florida
A tennis match today between Frances Tiafoe and Mitchell Krueger at the Sarasota Open was temporarily interrupted by the sounds of some fucking....
Adidas Congratulates Runners On "Surviving" Boston Marathon, Says Sorry<em></em>
Adidas blasted out a marketing email today, lauding runners who participated in the race on Monday: “Congrats, you survived the Boston Marathon.”...
Baylor Hires Linda Livingstone As Its President
Baylor University has hired Linda Livingstone as its first woman president, the school announced today. The move comes amid several lawsuits against the university over its mishandling of sexual assault cases on campus, which included downplaying women’s allegations, failing to properly report accus...
Let's Check In With Tiger Woods
At a press event today for a new public golf course in Ridgedale, Mo., a kid reporter challenged old and fucked up Tiger Woods to a “friendly” competition from the range. Woods, sounding like he was reading a cue card, said, “There’s nothing friendly about it.” He smiled. Chuckles all around. ...
Kevin Garnett Is Not On Good Terms With The Minnesota Timberwolves
Kevin Garnett retired just before this season started, after 21 years in the NBA. He spent 12 of those with the Minnesota Timberwolves before decamping for Boston and Brooklyn. Garnett eventually returned to Minnesota to finish up his career, mentor the team’s stockpile of young players, and theoret...
Referee Blunders Spur On Real Madrid's Murdalization Of Bayern Munich
Real Madrid scored three goals in about 10 rampaging minutes of extra time against 10-man Bayern Munich in the Champions League quarterfinals to win 4-2, and advance to the semifinals, 6-3 on aggregate. And while Bayern blew it and Real made the plays they needed to win it, it’s hard not to come awa...