ti Page 1133 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ravens Linebacker Zachary Orr Retires At 24 Due To Neck Condition
Baltimore Ravens linebacker Zachary Orr, who is 24 years old, has retired from the NFL due to a congenital neck condition....
Ortiz Vs. Sonnen Will Give You What You Want
Saturday night, at the end of the first full day of the Trump administration, a former UFC champion will compete against a perennial UFC title challenger, but it’ll go down in Bellator, which is probably more appropriate for where we’re all psychically at right now. All fights have a theme, and this...
Mark Trumbo's Discount Dingers Belong In Baltimore
The Orioles and RF/DH Mark Trumbo have agreed to a three-year deal for $37.5 million, and the most interesting thing about the agreement is that it’s for less than Baltimore offered him at the beginning of the offseason. It’s been a weird winter for power hitters....
I Believe The Children Are Our Future
The nation is in safe hands, everybody....
Heat Fan Nearly Flattened By Falling Door After Winning Promotion
How lucky was this Heat fan? Not only did she win a spa gift card, she also avoided the booby prize of getting turned into a pancake thanks to the Heat’s shoddy craftsmanship....
How "Fake News" Became Meaningless
Let’s talk about fake news. Are you excited? I am! (Actually I’m not. That claim was fake news.)...
Jermaine Jones Calls Tim Howard's Comments On USMNT Dual Nationals "Dangerous Stuff"
On Tuesday, USMNT goalkeeper Tim Howard questioned the passion of his dual-national teammates, in part blaming them and their lack of American-ness for the USMNT’s recent string of poor results. He tried walking back those comments by citing the strong play of dual-national teammates Jermaine Jones ...
Have You Worked For Our Incoming Labor Secretary's Fast Food Empire?
Do you work at Hardee’s or Carl’s Jr.? We want to hear from you. ...
Here's The Moment Ivan Rodriguez Found Out He'd Made The Hall Of Fame
Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez was one of three players elected into the baseball Hall of Fame this afternoon. Since-already disclosed ballot returns assured that Tim Raines and Jeff Bagwell would make it, Pudge was the only surprising player elected and he barely cleared the 75 percent bar for entry....
How Did Jorge Posada Become A First-Ballot Hall Of Fame Washout?
Amid the arguing over this year’s Hall of Fame, one of the weirder potential results involves no argument at all. Unless there’s a dramatic and unexpected late break in the voting, Jorge Posada—who as of this afternoon appeared on 10 of 239 known ballots in the ballot tracker—is going to miss the fi...
Tim Howard Also Has Bad Takes On Foreign-Born USMNT Players (UPDATE)
USA Today got ahold of Tim Howard, and for some reason he decided to criticize a number of his United States Men’s National Team teammates as lacking sufficient passion for their country:...
What FIFA And The Cameroon National Team Are Doing To Joël Matip Is A Travesty<em></em>
Sepp Blatter may have been ousted from the corrupt and labyrinthine bureaucracy he constructed out of the billions of dollars that FIFA funnels in from the world’s love of soccer, but lest you worry that the organization isn’t as perplexingly, exasperatingly stupid as before, we have the case of Liv...
Tim Raines And Jeff Bagwell Look Like Locks To Make The Hall Of Fame Tonight
Finally, mercifully, the period of speculation about who will be inducted into the baseball Hall of Fame this year will come to an end. ...
The Time I Didn’t Have Time For Donald Trump
I thought I was just shooing away another clown. I couldn’t have known at the time that I was shooing away a clown who would wind up becoming president of the United States....
Goldman Sachs Does Not Want To Talk About It
If someone came to your house and camped in your front yard and screamed all day and night about how bad you are, you would want to correct the record somehow. Right? ...
Jose Bautista And The Blue Jays Needed Each Other More Than They Were Willing To Admit
In the end, both sides miscalculated. Jose Bautista misread the market for power hitters, and had to settle for what Toronto was offering. The Blue Jays mishandled the slugger they really wanted, and had to settle for the 36-year-old Bautista. It’s not romantic, but it’s a marriage nonetheless: Baut...
Cyclist Takes Nosedive Into A Ravine, Films The Whole Thing
Road cycling season started this week with the Tour Down Under (it’s in Australia, which, duh), and it began without Spanish superstar Joaquim Rodriguez for the first time in 16 years. Rodriguez was waffling on whether or not to ride for Bahrain-Merida, but ultimately decided not to....
Trump's Education Secretary Pick On Guns In Schools: "What About Grizzly Bears?"
Betsy DeVos, a galactically rich and galactically evil anti-public school, anti-gay rights donor appointed by Donald Trump to be our country’s next Education Secretary, is going through confirmation hearings tonight (sports angle: her shitty father owns the Orlando Magic). She was asked about guns i...
New Broncos Coach Vance Joseph Left University Of Colorado After Being Accused Of Rubbing His Erect Penis On A Woman
The Denver Broncos named Vance Joseph as their new head coach last week, returning him to the state where he started out his coaching career with the University of Colorado Boulder—and abruptly left under unexplained circumstances....
Columnist Attempts To Abstain From Hall Of Fame Vote, Submits Blank Ballot Instead
The Cleveland Plain Dealer’s Bill Livingston wrote a grandstanding column today about his decision to forgo participating in this year’s baseball Hall of Fame vote. There’s, uh, one big problem with his column:...