ti Page 1136 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cucked Penguin's Insane Revenge Fight Is The Horror Movie Of The Year<em></em>
The good people at National Geographic host a program called “Animal Fight Night.” Reader, it is exactly what you’d expect. ...
Did Robert Caruso Con The Washington Press—Or Is That What The Russians <i>Want </i>You To Think?
How hard is it to con people in Washington, D.C.? Easier than you might think, considering it’s the place where things like nuclear war get decided. The national-security circuit in particular, with its think tank fellowships and massive government contracts, is one of the juiciest rackets around....
Racism And Sexism Are Extremely Bad For The Economy
Over the past 50 years, our nation’s institutions have become less racist and less sexist. This decline in discrimination has been very good for America’s economy. ...
Did You Hear The Latest Big Election Scoop?
This past weekend, I caught some evolved form of plague from my two-year-old, disease-carrying nephew. Though I’m past the worst of the illness at this point, some residual sinus pressure remains. So I stopped by the drugstore on my way into the office. It was here that I learned that Huma Abedin an...
San Antonio Cop Reportedly Fired For Feeding Homeless Man A Literal Shit Sandwich
Our American law enforcement system enables its officers to abuse their power and harass the citizenry in ways both petty and outright barbaric. Here’s a particularly cruel example, from down in San Antonio: a cop was fired this week after he fed a homeless man a shit sandwich. I do not use “shit sa...
Here's Some Wholly Believable Donald Trump Jr. Gossip<em></em>
Earlier today, Miami-based DJ Scott Melker posted a story on Facebook from his time at the University of Pennsylvania—time that he shared with none other than First Son-hopeful Donald J. Trump Jr. And according to Melker, Don Jr. (and his father, for that matter) behaves pretty much exactly like you...
Falcons-Buccaneers, <i>Thursday Night Football</i>, LIVE
It’s time again to let the Tecmo Super Bowl computer duke it out to simulate tonight’s Atlanta-Tampa Bay game. Who will win? Tune in to find out, LIVE: ...
This Is The Bestest-Ass Pad Thai We’ve Ever Eaten
This week’s Foodspin takes us to Brooklyn. BROOKLYN! Pickled beards! Strollers made from discarded almond husks! Dickheads! You know the deal. Anyway, our cooking master for this episode is stoner food god and former Top Chef contestant Dale Talde, who served us a bacon pad thai that was the best go...
Reminder: Manny Pacquiao Would Like To Execute Anyone Who Has A Poppy Seed Bagel
This Saturday night, Manny Pacquiao will fight Jesse Vargas on pay-per-view. The matchup is thoroughly forgettable. But Pacquiao’s management would like to remind you that in his political career, he wants to execute many, many people! ...
Cristiano Ronaldo Played Like Shit Yesterday
The most shocking scoreline of yesterday’s round of Champions League matches was definitely the 3-3 draw between reigning European champions Real Madrid and Polish giants (but European minnows) Legia Warsaw. How could a team of Gareth Bale, Karim Benzema, and—above all—Cristiano Ronaldo fail to beat...
Bill Murray Douses Reporters With Champagne
The ever-incorrigible Bill Murray dropped by the Cubs’ clubhouse tonight to celebrate with his favorite team, and gave reporters standing by a taste of victory champagne—whether they wanted it or not....
Former Baylor AD Reportedly Asked For Immunity For Football Players Under Investigation
Since turning down a $1.5 million settlement from Baylor, Patty Crawford has been on quite the media tour. She rejected the money because it would have prevented her from speaking publicly about what happened at Baylor over the past two years, and since she left the school less than a month ago, she...
Ben Simmons: "The NCAA Is Really Fucked Up"
Philadelphia 76ers forward Ben Simmons has joined the symphony of current and former college athletes who are dissatisfied with the NCAA’s mission to separate athletes from the wealth they help create....
NFL Network Suspends Brian Baldinger Six Months For Promoting Bounties
The NFL Network has suspended analyst and former NFL player Brian Baldinger six months without pay, Sporting News reports. On Friday Baldinger went on the radio with Philadelphia’s 97.5 The Fanatic, and recommended that the Eagles put a bounty on and attempt to injure Cowboys running back Ezekiel El...
Minor League Baseball Team's New Logo Is A Musclebound, Horny Shrimp
If you woke up one day to discover that you were suddenly a millionaire named Ken Babby, what’s one of the first things you’d do? Would you use your wealth to humiliate a group of grown men by forcing them to wear uniforms featuring a cartoon shrimp humping the state of Florida? Why, yes—yes you wou...
New Report Details How Baylor Suppressed Reports Of Sexual Assault<em></em>
A report tonight from Showtime’s 60 Minutes Sports revealed a series of new details about Baylor’s failures to handle reports of sexual assault, especially (although not exclusively) those involving football players. The package, reported by Armen Keteyian, details how Waco police kept details of re...
On Eve Of 60 Minutes Sports Report, Baylor Starts Website Called "The Truth"
This afternoon, the URL www.baylor.edu/thetruth went live; no, the URL and website names are not the worst part....
The Champions League Was Lousy With Great Goals Today
The Champions League is the best collection of great teams and players that there is in the sport. Sometimes, all those great teams and players conspire to do a bunch of great things all on the same day. Today was one of those glorious days....
I'm The Big Boy
In 2011, The Metropolitan Golf Writer’s Association awarded the Trump family the honor of Golf Family of the Year. Also in 2011, Donald J. Trump Jr. was a big, fancy booster chair boy....