ti Page 1151 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Trump Kids Can't Seem To Figure Out Why Their Shitty Father's Campaign Is So Shitty<em></em>
Trump’s getting blasted for sexist comments, mocked for his shoddy debate skills, and losing any edge he might have had in the polls. Something is definitely wrong—Trump’s three eldest children know that much. They just can’t for the life of them seem to figure out why....

These Mammals Are Just Straight-Up Murdering Each Other All The Time
One of the more disturbing nature documentaries I’ve ever seen shows a dozen chimpanzees punching, kicking, biting a member of their own troop, chasing him up a tree and leaving him there to slowly die of his wounds over a span of three painful days....

Fernando Torres Does A Fernando Torres
Fernando Torres must’ve felt some kind of way about Edinson Cavani threatening to usurp El Niño’s hard-earned title as The World’s Foremost Sitter-Misser, so he went and did this:...

Brilliant Shithead Cristiano Ronaldo Had A Brilliant, Shitheaded Game Yesterday
As everyone knows, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He’s also an obnoxious, petulant brat prone to sneaky acts of outright violence when he feels aggrieved. All sides of CR7 were on display during yesterday’s Real Madrid-Borussia Dortmund match....

Trying To Teach Donald Trump To Debate Sounds Like Hell
According to an article in this morning’s New York Times, Donald Trump’s advisers are hoping to prepare him “more rigorously” for his next showdown with Hillary—or, more to the point, they’re going to try to prepare him. Apparently, teaching Donald Trump to debate as almost as hard as getting an ego...

Tiger Woods Is Now Golf's Washed-Up Uncle
Tiger Woods is still too old and fucked up to play golf, but he is capable of serving as a vice captain for the United States’ Ryder Cup team. Somebody forgot to tell Tiger that vice captains aren’t allowed to be in the team photo:...

America's Beautiful Wonderteen, Christian Pulisic, Just Ran Through Real Madrid<em></em>
Borussia Dortmund, one of the world’s very best soccer teams, found themselves down against Real Madrid, the most famous sports team on the planet, in a Champions League match today. Looking to change the game, they turned to a goddamn American child, 18-year-old Christian Pulisic, to save the day. ...

Frances Tiafoe Is A Good American And This Is A Great Point
If for some sad reason you’re a U.S. tennis stan and find yourself sick of big-serving lunk John Isner, you’d be wise to shift your loyalties to Frances Tiafoe, who serves as Isner’s perfect foil: Eighteen years old, closer to six feet tall than seven, spry, exceedingly mobile. My favorite part of T...

Do You Even Know If You're Registered To Vote Yet?
The Presidential Election—and the blessed end to this interminable campaign cycle—is finally close enough to start worrying about important deadlines passing. And so, sort of in honor of National Voter Registration Day (which is a real thing that is apparently today) and mostly because the debate la...

Is Gerardo Martino The USMNT Coach-In-Waiting?
Gerardo “Tata” Martino, the Argentine coach coming off a run managing at the very pinnacle of his profession with stints at the helms of Barcelona and Argentina, has officially signed on with MLS expansion team, Atlanta United FC. This is a weird one....

England Manager Sam Allardyce Loses Job After Just One Game In Charge
England manager Sam Allardyce and the FA have “mutually agreed to terminate his contract,” one day after The Telegraph published the results of a hidden-camera investigation in which Allardyce advises “businessmen” on how to get around third-party ownership rules. It isn’t a particularly damning inv...

Pakistan’s National Baseball Team Just Wants You To Know They Exist
This past weekend, Pakistan competed against teams representing Brazil, Great Britain, and Israel in World Baseball Classic qualifiers at MCU Park in Coney Island, Brooklyn. They were swept in the double-elimination tournament, losing to Brazil on Thursday afternoon and Great Britain Friday night, b...

Bucks President: "Milwaukee Is The Most Segregated, Racist Place I’ve Ever Experienced"<em></em>
Milwaukee is the most segregated city in the country. The city’s structural inequalities came into focus on the national stage last month as protests swept through the city after Milwaukee PD killed 23-year-old Sylville Smith after a traffic stop. Most in the controversy-averse world of professional...

Even Stormfront Thinks Hillary Clinton Won The Debate
Since being founded by a former Ku Klux Klan leader in 1996, Stormfront has been the internet’s premier destination for white nationalist and neo-Nazi keyboard warriors everywhere. And even they think Hillary Clinton won the debate tonight. ...

Tom Brady's Apparently Been Spending His Suspension Tanning His Butt
The New York Post just published a cool update on how Tom Brady’s been spending his Ballghazi suspension: tanning his large white ass in Italy....

Howard Dean Thinks Donald Trump Might Be On Coke<em></em><em></em><em></em>
And he wouldn’t be the first....

No, Donald Trump's Camp Isn't Deleting His Stupid Climate Change Tweets
The following tweet went viral tonight; it’s a lie....

Mets Broadcasters Break Down On Air While Remembering José Fernández
The Marlins are playing their first game since José Fernández died in a boating crash over the weekend, and it’s been an incredibly emotional affair. The whole team is wearing Fernández’s number 16 jersey and both teams paid tribute to him before the game. Dee Gordon’s leadoff dinger provided an inc...

Welcome To Hell: It’s Deadspin’s 2016 Presidential Debate Liveblog <em></em>
Tonight at 9 p.m., a former Secretary of State will take on a bloviating game-show racist for the chance to be our president. And we’ll be liveblogging every goddamn minute of it....
