ti Page 1191 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jackie Christie Says She Weighs Doug Christie's Balls To See If He's Been Cheating
Doug Christie has been out of the NBA since 2005 (save for a 10-day contract with the Los Angeles Clippers in 2007), but his wife Jackie has been a fixture on VH1's Basketball Wives: LA since its inception in 2011. The couple’s relationship has been a matter of public performance since Christie’s da...
North Carolina State Senator Burns Governor Over All-Star Game Fiasco
Jeff Jackson is a state senator from North Carolina, who is currently roasting his state’s dipshit governor for his hateful House Bill 2 that caused the NBA to up and move the 2017 NBA All-Star Game out of Charlotte. He has plenty of good and righteous points to make, like how much money McCrory cos...
How To Pick A Gift For A Baby
There are 4.3 babies born in the world every second. Maybe there’s 1.0 new baby in your world and you need to appease it with a gift. How?...
The NBA Has Moved The All-Star Game From North Carolina Because Of Anti-LGBT Law (UPDATE)
Update (5:33 p.m.): The NBA has officially relocated the 2017 NBA All-Star Game away from Charlotte, North Carolina, in response to an anti-LGBT bill the state passed in March. Here is the league’s statement:...
Eugene Monroe Retires From NFL, Citing Fear Of CTE
Eugene Monroe is 29 years old and a starting-caliber left tackle, but was curiously released by the Ravens this offseason, a move Monroe believes was caused by his outspoken advocacy of medical marijuana. Today, Monroe retired from the NFL over health concerns....
Ted Cruz Has Something Important To Say To The American People
Things got weird tonight at the Republican National Convention. Erstwhile Donald Trump enemy Ted Cruz took the stage, and boy did he have a lot to say....
Bryce Harper Hit This Pitch To Goddamn Saturn
If you throw that fastball as straight as an arrow and lay it right over the middle of the plate, you’re liable to watch it fly all the way out of the ballpark. Bud Norris did just that against Bryce Harper, who proceeded to jerk a big dong to the third deck....
WADA Changes Its Mind, Reinstates "Non-Conforming" Rio Olympics Doping Lab
Less than a month ago, the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) suspended its accreditation of the Brazilian Doping Control Laboratory, which was supposed to handle all drug tests related to the Rio Olympics. WADA—which is as inept and corrupt a sporting body as you’ll find on this planet—cited a vague a...
Idiot On The Field Evades One Security Guard, Gets Planted By Another
The Detroit Tigers lost at home to the lowly Minnesota Twins this afternoon. Also taking an L was this Tigers fan, who ran onto the field, juked one security guard into the ground, and then believed that he could surrender peacefully:...
Report: Next England Manager Will Be Big Sam Allardyce
England manager Roy Hodgson quit after his team was knocked out of the Euro round of 16 by plucky Iceland, two years after his unimaginative tactics and poor squad selection saw England finish at the bottom of their group at the 2014 World Cup. According to Sky Sports, the FA have found Hodgson’s re...
A Normal Parent's Guide To Homeschooling
“No school today?”...
Ohio State RB Bri'onte Dunn's Girlfriend Calls 911: “My Boyfriend Hit Me Really Bad"<em></em>
Ohio State running back Bri’onte Dunn was dismissed from the team on Monday for an unspecified violation of team rules. According to a report today from the Columbus Dispatch, Dunn’s dismissal followed a 911 call Sunday from his girlfriend in which she told a dispatcher that Dunn hit her in the face...
Meet Oleg Tinkov, The Most Insane Sports Owner You Haven't Heard Of
The hubris and planet-sized egos of lunatic sports owners is a core Deadspin beat, from Joe Lacob’s horniness for the Larry O’Brien trophy, to Stan Kroenke’s dead raccoon hair, to Dan Gilbert’s simpering evil. When the Panthers’ owner gets a dang statue of himself with two actual panthers built out ...
There Should Be Movie Theaters In Airports
I have a good idea that you can NOT steal, but which you may hear. Are you ready? Here it goes: ...
Lou Holtz Is Really Going For It At The RNC
Donald Trump may not have been able to convince any famous athletes to speak at this week’s Republican National Convention, but he did get Lou Holtz’s support, dammit, and Lou Holtz is giving it everything he has....
Paul Ryan Is Really Bad At Pandering To Sports Fans<em></em>
Pandering in politics is a matter of course; politics is pandering, which is probably something some political scientist said 70 years ago. But sports are good, real, and serious business, which makes Speaker of the House Paul Ryan’s sports pandering extremely offensive. ...
Denzel Valentine Hits Pair Of Buzzer-Beaters To Win NBA Summer League Championship
Congratulations Chicago Bulls fans! The heartbreak of the Derrick Rose injury and the long, slow, organizational meltdown that followed it are behind you. Your team is the champion of the NBA (Las Vegas Summer League), thanks to the late heroics of Denzel Valentine....
The Bicycle Cops At The RNC Ride Their Bikes Like A Bunch Of Dumbass Jamokes
The Republican National Convention has been marked by weirdo demonstrators, Alex Jones squawking, desperate brand exercises, and hundreds of bike cops. Meanwhile, RNC-attending sources tell Deadspin that the city is overrun with bike-mounted officers who ride like herbs. ...
Build Something, Like A Goddamn Cathedral
Justo Gallego would likely take umbrage with the phrasing of that headline, seeing as the former monk views his lifework as an act of godly devotion. But this is what he gets for building such a goddamn beautiful cathedral....