ti Page 1218 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Put Steam In Your Nose
With pollen counts spiking, you may have found your nasal passages cemented shut this weekend. The finest way to spend a day in the park is with your head all heavy with snot and your mouth dry from all the (literal) mouth-breathing. A Kleenex is meaningless at that point—no amount of nose-blowing, ...
Why Is The University Of Chicago's Wrestling Coach Supporting Alleged Child Molester Dennis Hastert?
Former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert pleaded guilty last October to one count of illegally structuring bank withdrawals, and will be sentenced to up to five years in prison by a federal judge later this week. But behind this technical-sounding crime is something truly horrific: According to th...
Your Brain Hates When You Sleep In A New Bed
Have you ever wondered how dolphins—mammals who need oxygen to survive but reside in the uniquely oxygen-deficient ocean—sleep without drowning? Don’t worry, this is going somewhere....
How To Share Money In A Relationship
We spend huge chunks of our lives trying to acquire both love and money. At some point, though, we’d all kind of like to have both. And when you do—and you and your significant other have been living together in sweaty sin long enough—there then comes a time where your financial future becomes plura...
Trump, Hitler, James Earl Ray Nominated For New Elementary School Name
The Austin school district decided last month to rename Robert E. Lee Elementary School, and opened the nominating process up to the public. In the end, 228 names were suggested; Donald Trump got the most nods, with 45. (“Robert E. Lee” came in second.) Here are some other noteworthy nominees from t...
Awwww Shit, <i>Game Of Thrones </i>Is Back
Hello darkness, my old friend...
The Panthers Are Out Of The Playoffs Because Of A Bad Call
For pure entertainment value, Islanders-Panthers was the best series of the first round, with every game being close and half of them going to overtime. It ended in spectacular fashion, with John Tavares (who had five goals and four assists in six games) tying the game in the last minute of regulati...
Johnny Manziel Indicted
A Dallas County grand jury has indicted Johnny Manziel on charges he assaulted his ex-girlfriend, according to KRLD in Dallas. The former Browns quarterback is accused of hitting Colleen Crowley multiple times during an argument that she says included Manziel dragging her into his car. ...
Spurs-Grizzlies Delayed By "Power Surge"
ABC/ESPN’s broadcast of the Spurs-Grizzlies game in Memphis was interrupted suddenly early in the second quarter as what Mike Tirico described as a “power surge” brought the game to a halt....
Chris Broussard Rips Off <i>Dallas Morning News</i> Editor
Dallas Morning News sports editor Damon Marx snapped the above photo of Justin Anderson and Kevin Durant shaking hands following last night’s Thunder-Mavericks game, one in which Durant was ejected for cracking Anderson in the face. ESPN’s Chris Broussard, apparently unable to deal with someone else...
Marcus Smart Fined $5,000 For Hilarious Flop
The NBA has fined Marcus Smart $5,000 after the Celtics guard became possessed by Beelzebub late in Boston’s win last night against the Hawks. That seems a bit steep; Kyle Korver’s booty has us all losing our faculties from time to time. Let’s remember some other great moments in Marcus Smart:...
Let's Remember Pearl Washington, A Godfather Of The Crossover Dribble
This week Dwayne Alonzo “Pearl” Washington, a sensational guard at Syracuse and an 8.6 ppg three-year NBA pro died at the age of 52, of brain cancer. He was not even the most famous Pearl in NBA history, having inherited his smooth nickname by emulating his boyhood hero, Earl “The Pearl” Monroe. (Co...
Manchester United Reach FA Cup Final With 93rd-Minute Goal
Anthony Martial scored the winner in the third minute of stoppage time as Manchester United overcame an own goal to beat Everton in today’s FA Cup semifinal, 2-1....
Atlético Madrid Tried To Stop A Breakaway By Throwing Another Ball Out
It’s Málaga! Atlético Madrid—a team in the Champions League semifinals—shouldn’t need to resort to this kind of nonsense to beat them, but here’s a ball magically flying off the bench late in the first half today. It reportedly earned Diego Simeone a dismissal....
Christian Pulisic Scored Again
17-year-old American soccer prodigy Christian Pulisic followed up on last week’s career-launching goal by scoring again today for Borussia Dortmund, putting his squad up 2-0 on Stuttgart by being in the right place at the right time. Dortmund came away with the eventual 3-0 win....
Why <i>Veep</i> Can't Let Selina Be V.P. Again
Season 4 of Veep ended with Selina Meyer, the titular VP, as president—but just barely. Having ascended to the highest office in the land without actually ever being voted president by the people, she faces an uncertain re-election. But at the end of the night—and the end of the season—her future is...
Dirtnado In The Infield!
Is this a thing? I’ve seen little dust devils pop up and die out in dry areas from time to time in my life, but are huge dirt tornados like this, which formed in the middle of a college softball game between Lynchburg and Bridgewater last weekend, like, normal?...
Boxing Champion Bud Crawford Arrested For Allegedly Damaging Auto Body Shop
WBO junior welterweight champion Terence “Bud” Crawford turned himself in to authorities today, reports Omaha, Nebraska’s NBC affiliate, after being charged with four misdemeanors: destruction of property, theft of service, misdemeanor assault, and trespass....
The Resurrection Of Fernando Torres
Fernando Torres does not suck anymore. It may sound like fairly unremarkable praise to say that a rich and famous professional athlete manages to wring enough competence out of the limbs and lungs that have made him a millionaire dozens of times over to not be actively bad at his job. But for Torres...