ti Page 1228 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mediocrity Has Revitalized Boxing's Heavyweight Division
Among all of the big men in boxing right now, there is one genuinely good heavyweight. And although—or, more likely, because—Luis “King Kong” Ortiz has looked impressive in his two most recent HBO fights, no recognized fellow champions seem interested in trying to pick up his WBA belt. Ranked conten...
Soccer Player Quits Team After Learning Teammate Was Sleeping With His Wife
The man pictured above is Christian Keller, very recently the captain of Danish first-division club Randers. He and his fellow Horses had to bid adieu to one of their teammates today, after Jonas Borring announced that certain personal events had led him to decide to leave the club. What instigated ...
This Is Just The Dumbest Way To Lose A Bike Race
An incredibly fun two-week run of Belgian cobbled classics started today with Dwars door Vlaanderen, a semi-flat but challenging warm up to the hellish Ronde van Vlaanderen. However, the race almost didn’t happen after terrorist attacks ripped through the Brussels airport yesterday. Race officials c...
Carlos Beltran Has A Heartbreaking Story About Not Being Able To Order Food When He Broke Into Baseball
For the first time this season, MLB is mandating that all clubs have full-time Spanish translators. Previously, teams had hired translators on an ad hoc basis, or informally used bilingual coaches and teammates to help young Latin players navigate interviews and interactions....
Thinkfluence Man Pretends To Think Empathy Is Bad
“Against Empathy” makes a hell of a title for a video. It’s bold and spicy! Empathy is bad is quite a strong take, after all, given that empathy—broadly speaking, the capacity to relate to and share the feelings and perspectives of others—is a core, defining trait of humanity, which will tend to be ...
Aaron Rodgers Has A Pretty Good UFO Story
Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers was a recent guest on the You Made It Weird podcast with Pete Holmes, and he somehow ended up describing the time he apparently saw an alien spacecraft in the night sky over New Jersey....
Live <em>SportsCenter</em> Hit From Cuba Interrupted By Protester
The 6 p.m. SportsCenter, featuring an extended live hit from Cuba by Bob Ley, was interrupted when a pamphlet-clad protester jumped up onto the set, threw his pamphlets and yelled something. The producer quickly threw to Karl Ravech, Doug Glanville, and Eduardo Perez, who were clearly dumbfounded at...
Boo On Sevilla For Not Trying To Stop Messi With This Wacky Free-Kick Defense
With his nearly unlimited array of skills and his penchant for breaking down defenses even when they’re almost single-mindedly set up to stop him, Lionel Messi presents a unique threat to opponents. Unfortunately for his rivals, it’s difficult to dream up some newfangled tactic that could help bottl...
Pro Basketball Player Wounded In Brussels Terrorist Attack
One of the more jarring photos to come out of the aftermath of today’s terrorist attack in Brussels shows a man lying on the floor of the airport, bleeding from his legs. That man has since been identified as Sebastien Bellin, a basketball player who currently plays for the Gent Hawks in Blegium’s p...
The Best Places To Urinate Outside, Ranked
Before we get deep into the bowels of the Funbag, one quick note: I’m out next week on Spring Break with my kids. This will not be like your Spring Break. Your Spring Break will be in Lake Havasu surrounded by fruity drinks and horny twentysomethings. I, on the other hand, will be stuck in Virginia ...
Future Superstar Matt Miazga Ready To Fight To Become "The Best American Player"
The worst you can say is that it hasn’t happened yet. This is no great shocker, since it was always going to be a long journey for Matt Miazga to go from promising MLS prospect to veritable Premier League legend. Yet it is a voyage Miazga himself is perfectly ready to start down step by step, as evi...
What Are My Legal Rights At Political Rallies?
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below....
Apple Released Some New Junk Today. Do You Need It?
I watched my first Apple keynote today. I enjoyed it, because it was a window into an amusing culture. But I did not see much that I wanted to throw money at, and you probably won’t either....
A Bewildered Jim Ross Called The Weirdest U.S. Fight PPV We've Ever Seen
“Roy Jones Jr. will fight a fan in Phoenix!” the promo reel screamed, and that was just the main event to a bizarre card put on by URShow.tv last night in an online-only pay-per-view featuring MMA, pro wrestling, “grappling,” and boxing as called by an in-the-flesh Jim “J.R.” Ross....
David Ortiz Doesn't Have Time To Worry About Respect
Speaking purely as someone who adores stupid sports controversies, I never want this baseball offseason to end. The Saga of Drake LaRoche spun my head so completely that I almost forgot about this spring’s other big storylines: Bryce Harper telling the old-timers to stuff it and Goose Gossage scream...
Notre Dame Tip-In Ruins Everything
Our bodies were ready. Stephen F. Austin’s late five-point lead left the sportswriting world dreaming of four days full of “STONE COLD!” references and Attitude-Era GIFs celebrating the Lumberjacks becoming just the third 14-seed ever to make the Sweet Sixteen. Then Notre Dame’s Rex Pflueger, a scru...
Report: Akron Football Player Shoots Teammate After Mistaking Him For A Burglar
Akron football player Scott Boyett shot his teammate Andrew Pratt on accident early this morning after mistaking him for a burglar, per a report from the Akron Beacon Journal. Apparently Pratt and Boyett are neighbors, and Pratt entered Boyett’s apartment without notice, so his friend shot him, mist...
Multiple Riders Accuse Arnaud Démare Of Cheating To Win Milan-San Remo
Yesterday’s Milan-San Remo was as chaotic, crash-happy, and dramatic as the first Monument of the cycling season should be. A landslide blocked the course and forced a redirect, Michael Matthews ate shit, poor debutante Fernando Gaviria fell at maybe the worst possible time, and Frenchman Arnaud Dém...