ti Page 1264 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sepp Blatter Says U.S. Was Supposed To Hold 2022 World Cup
Just when you think Sepp Blatter has revealed the full extent of his kooky theories and self-centered worldview, he opens his mouth again and wows you with even more crazy talk. In his newest interview, Blatter elucidates his belief that the entire FIFA scandal was a covert ploy by Michel Platini an...
Fox Loses Broadcast During World Series
It’s not just you: during the bottom of the 4th inning of tonight’s World Series game from Kansas City, Fox’s broadcast cut out. After a few seconds Fox cut to a clearly confused Dan O’Toole in the studio, who explained that power was lost to Fox’s truck, and got Dontrelle Willis to blab about god k...
I Could Defeat At Least Eight Of This Year's Most Influential Teens
Today, Time released its list of the 30 most influential teens of 2015. It’s a wide-ranging list that includes celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and Malala. They’re all wonderful, inspirational kids. After looking through the names, I’ve determined that in a fight, I could kick the asses of at l...
The Ravens Are (Rightfully) Pissed Off About The Officiating
Every team has calls go against it over the course of the game, but two in particular boned the Ravens last night, both in big spots, and both more or less inexplicable. Baltimore WR Steve Smith is not going to let the officials get away with this: “Two stars. That’s what I’m putting on my Yelp.”...
Joe Flacco's Headset Stopped Working On The Ravens' Final Drive
After a few breaks went their way, the Ravens found themsleves eight points down with 76 yards to go and 1:53 left, with no timeouts. A tough task under the smoothest of circumstances—and even tougher when the Ravens’ sideline lost communication with the huddle....
Torii Hunter, All-Time Near-Great Centerfielder, Retires
My defining memory of Torii Hunter’s baseball career comes from the 2002 All-Star Game, when he robbed Barry Bonds of a home run. Bonds was in the middle of four straight seasons of destroying space-time, but Hunter was pretty darn good too, finishing sixth in the AL MVP race and winning his second ...
Baylor Loses Quarterback Seth Russell For The Season
Baylor, 7-0 and the second-ranked college football team in the country, announced today that quarterback Seth Russell will miss the rest of the season. Russell injured his neck during Saturday’s win over Iowa State, and will soon have surgery that is expected to keep him out around six months....
Kevin Garnett Walked Out Of Practice To Sit In Flip Saunders's Parking Spot
Flip Saunders helped Kevin Garnett as he turned into a dominant NBA player. Their reign on the Timberwolves was the most successful in the team’s short history, and Garnett waived his no-trade clause in February to reunite with Saunders and help the new, young foundation in Minnesota. When Saunders ...
Russian Idiot On The Field Uses MacGyver Skills To Escape Security
The only thing more stereotypically Russian than the urge to sprint out onto the pitch in celebration of your team scoring is successfully fleeing back into the crowd before security apprehends you. Shouts out to the crowd for their teamwork. (Warning: video’s kinda loud.)...
A Rest Stop Stalker, And More Of Your Real-Life Horror And Ghost Stories
On Friday, we asked you to share your real-life ghost stories, and I semi-regret it. Some of your stories are legitimately freaky! Brace yourself for readers’ scariest real-life ghost stories. ...
Flip Saunders Is Dead At 60 (UPDATES)
Flip Saunders has died today of Hodgkin’s lymphoma at the age of 60. He was diagnosed in August and initially planned to return to the Minnesota Timberwolves this season, where he was the coach and GM. Yesterday, it was announced that he would not return this season....
Innocent Is Independent: The Story of A Cross Country Runner
In only his second season of cross country, 18-year-old Innocent Murwanashyaka (above, middle, with some of his teammates) is so far this year undefeated. He won the St. Paul City Conference meet, covering the 5K course in 15:56, and is ranked fourth in Minnesota going into the state championship. I...
Ben-Gals Cheerleaders Win $255,000 Settlement In Lawsuit Against The Bengals
NFL teams tend to treat their cheerleaders not so much as valued employees, but rather as rock-dumb sex objects. Hits include the ridiculous list of petty fines Raiderettes could earn for, say, “improperly polishing their boots,” the Ravens’s exacting micromanagement over cheerleaders’s weight, and ...
Flip Saunders Will Not Return To The Wolves This Season
Flip Saunders was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma in August, but at the time, he and the team were confident that he’d be able to continue with his duties as coach and president while undergoing treatment. Then, in September, he was hospitalized after a setback and took a leave of absence. Reports...
The Chargers Will File For Relocation To Los Angeles In January
It’s increasingly apparent that the NFL will have at least one NFL team (and probably three) playing in Los Angeles soon. The only uncertainty is which teams and when. Yesterday, the San Diego Chargers made a public declaration that they will apply for relocation. ...
Congressman Reluctantly Sings "Meet The Mets" On House Floor To Settle A Bet
Here’s U.S. Rep. Adam Schiff of California, paying up after an NLDS bet with Rep. Steve Israel from New York. Schiff had the Dodgers, you see. His punishment is this rendition of “Meet The Mets,” and Schiff makes it sound like he’d rather have his toenails pulled out....
Bob McNair Changes Mind, Wants Refund Of His Donation To Group Opposing Anti-Discrimination Law
Texans owner Bob McNair donated $10,000 to Campaign for Houston, a PAC that opposes an ordinance that intends to protect Houstonians from discrimination. (The opposition has mostly been from those opposed to giving protections to gay and transgender residents.) After receiving backlash for backing t...
Your Next Plate Of Meatloaf Is My Treat, Lincoln Chafee
“I have had no scandals,” the ostrich man kept saying. If you angled your head just right, you could hear ... Y’know, in case you had me mixed up with that hiking-the-Appalachian-Trail fella wafting along on the breeze of his breath....
<i>Return Of The Jedi</i> Was Great, You Ewok-Slandering Fools
Earlier this week, the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer came out, and our own Albert Burneko took a moment to express a bit of perfectly warranted skepticism about its prospects. HOWEVER, Bert’s post was essentially a Trojan Horse for a lengthy revisionist diatribe on Return of the Jedi. ...
Tell Us Your Real-Life Horror And Ghost Stories
There’s a ghost story a friend’s father told me once that still freaks me out a little bit. Even as an adult. The story goes that one night, a few weeks after his mother died, he woke up to their dog barking uncontrollably. He got up and walked down the hallway to see what was wrong, and much to his...