ti Page 1270 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Seven Habits Of Highly Awesome Middle School Runners
We’re trotting along, arms uptight and locked, kneecaps clanking, when one of the sixth-grade harriers pulled up short. In this group, sudden cessation of movement indicates either a haphazardly attached body part has fallen off, or the stalled vehicle has decided he hates cross country and is dropp...
Max Scherzer Pretends To Choke Bryce Harper
The Washington Nationals, the saddest and most dysfunctional team in the league, are somehow still playing baseball games. I kind of assumed that everyone had already packed up their shit and gone home for the winter, but nope! They’re still out there, pitchin’ and hittin’ and catchin’. At least Max...
It Doesn't Sound Like Flip Saunders's Fight Against Cancer Is Going Well
In August the Timberwolves announced that head coach/president of basketball operations Flip Saunders had been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, but planned to continue coaching. After he suffered a setback that plan became unworkable, and three weeks ago Saunders took a leave of absence from the t...
Reports: Warren Sapp Pleads Guilty In Domestic Violence Case
Warren Sapp pleaded guilty today to one count of domestic violence in Las Vegas, according to TMZ and the Las Vegas Review-Journal. Sapp originally was charged with three counts, but prosecutors dropped two of them in exchange for today’s plea deal, according to the reports....
Watch The Mets Celebrate Clinching Through The Camera On Michael Conforto's Head
When a baseball team celebrates an accomplishment by spraying each other with gallon upon gallon of beer and champagne, there’s always a couple of players with some kind of camera strapped to their head. We see all sorts of media from these celebrations—high-quality photos, local news reports, even ...
Reporting Is Ugly
I spent one Christmas knocking on the doors of the parents of murdered children. The families were gathered around the trees in their living rooms, sobbing loudly or sitting quietly in shock. I asked grieving mothers to describe their dead boys. What were they like? What will you miss most about the...
How To Charm Everyone At Your New Job
Congratulations on your new place of employment! Next up: making a good first impression. You only have one shot, so show up on time, remember everyone’s names, and just be yourself, but not too yourself, if you get what we’re saying. Look, just don’t screw it up. This video should help. ...
How To Be A Gracious And Fun Wedding Date
Fifteen years ago, signing up to be someone’s wedding date might have only meant giving up a couple of hours of your life. You would go to a short ceremony at a neighborhood church followed by a rubbery chicken dinner nearby. You might have had to awkwardly dance to “Shout!” with strangers, but knew...
The Jets Are Bringing Their Own Toilet Paper To London
NFL teams are obsessed with routine. Surprises are the worst possibilities imaginable, unless they’re tricking their opponents. When the Jets travel to London for this Sunday’s game against the Dolphins, they’ll be bringing all the American supplies they can in order to keep the peace, including toi...
Congress Seeks To Ban Military-Sponsored NFL Salutes
In May, Sen. Jeff Flake (R-Ariz) and NJ.com revealed that those salutes to the troops, so omnipresent at football games, are no mere gesture of appreciation. They’re advertising, and the Department of Defense has paid the NFL more than $6 million over the last four seasons to honor the troops with c...
The Blue Jays Partied Extremely Hard After Winning The AL East
Even by the standard of normally raucous division-clinching celebrations, the Blue Jays went a little crazy tonight after beating the Orioles 15-2 in Baltimore. I guess that’s what you do when you haven’t won a division title or even been to the playoffs in 23 years....
Debbie Does Drywall: Why Home-Renovation Porn Is My Favorite Porn
Have you ever harbored sexual feelings toward a granite countertop, or imagined that a dual-vanity sink was actually former Prince ingénue Vanity? If so, you’re likely already an avid fan of HGTV (Home & Garden Television, although gardens are scarce), a cable channel that makes the rigorous renovat...
The Washington Nationals Certainly Seem To Hate Matt Williams
The Washington Post’s Barry Svrluga has a deep, perfectly-timed dive into the Washington National’s disaster of a season. Not only is it a complete tick-tock of how the team fell apart, it features a number of quotes and anecdotes from inside the clubhouse, each one revealing that Matt Williams’s pe...
Get Your Ass Off Mars: <i>The Martian </i>Is A Thrilling, Crowd-Pleasing Science Problem
1. The Martian will make you feel better about America, about the goodness of your fellow man, about the limitless possibilities of human achievement. That it’s also rooted in hard science (or at least a movie’s version of hard science, which is close enough), that all its surprises and accomplishme...
Nationals Blow Comeback In Most Nationals Way Possible
If you proposed the ending to tonight’s Washington Nationals game in a work of fiction, the audience would complain that it was too on the nose to be realistic. But truth is indeed stranger than fiction, and all that jazz. ...
The Story Behind Dashiell Hammett's Last And Most Popular Book
The following is excerpted from Nathan Ward’s The Lost Detective, a new book about the early life of Dashiell Hammett, one of the greatest crime writers in history....
This Is The Worst Of The Bad Opinions On Bryce Harper, But Only So Far
This teaser tweet is insane enough:...
The Gentleman's Guide To Making Her Come Without Using Your Dick
It’s time to be honest about something women don’t talk about much: the orgasm deficit. A large majority of women can’t reach orgasm from penis-in-vagina intercourse alone—as few as 7 percent can climax regularly from this method—and, worse, some men don’t seem to even realize it! Too often, well-in...
There Are Officially No More Excuses For Not Running A Personal-Best Marathon
Kenyan Eliud Kipchoge proved in Sunday’s Berlin Marathon that he is the classiest human to ever lay down 26.2 miles at an average of 4:44 per. About 10 miles into the race, the insoles of his custom Nike racing flats slipped out halfway and stayed there for the remaining 16 miles, flapping like tong...
Female Ex-Coaches Accuse UMD Of Discrimination, Harassment, Anti-Canadian Sentiment In Lawsuit
Three former women’s coaches at the University of Minnesota Duluth sued the state’s university system in federal court today, all saying they were victims of discrimination while working for the university. In the lawsuit, each woman outlines her own story and the various ways in which she was haras...