ti Page 1284 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Padres Manager Pulled His Players To Screw With Everyone
With the MLB trade deadline tomorrow, fans are now on Early Exit Watch. Any player who leaves a game early will be considered to be involved in a trade, until proven otherwise. (Yesterday, the opposite happened.) When Justin Upton and Matt Kemp prematurely left Wednesday’s Padres game, the buzz star...

The New <i>Mission: Impossible </i>Is Almost Better Than The New <i>Mad Max</i>
1. I think if the Mission: Impossible franchise starred anyone other than Tom Cruise, we’d regard all these movies as classics. All five have been excellent in their own ways, but unlike any other franchise I can think of, each sequel is better than its predecessor. Each has a different director, an...

Awesome Old Dude Andre Miller Should Play In The NBA Forever
As you may have heard, cagey-ass old man Andre Miller has signed with the Minnesota Timberwolves for the 2015-16 NBA season. The Wolves have oft-injured, offensively challenged Ricky Rubio at the point, and down the roster they’ve got scrawny rookie Tyus Jones, and right there between the two of the...

Blue Jays Trade For David Price, Are Coming For The AL East
Just two days after trading for all-world shortstop Troy Tulowitzki, the Toronto Blue Jays have gone and pulled off another blockbuster. According to multiple reports, the Jays have landed Tigers ace David Price in exchange for a package built around top pitching prospect Daniel Norris. ...

The Marlins Played Fart Noises During The Nationals' Batting Practice
Some weird stuff happened at the Marlins’ stadium while the visiting Nationals were taking batting practice last night. Some weird fart stuff, to be specific:...

Vin Baker's Training To Manage A Starbucks
Vin Baker had a lengthy career in the NBA, but financially, he has nothing to show for it. Because of alcoholism, bad investments, and friends and family using him, Baker ended up in the gutter with almost no money. The current-day Baker is in better shape; the Providence Journal found him training ...

The Nationals Are Kind Of Boning Drew Storen
The Washington Nationals just made a trade that should help fix their biggest weakness—the back end of the bullpen—by bringing in Jonathan Papelbon to be the new closer. Papelbon will take the job from current closer Drew Storen, who will slide into a set-up role and give the Nats a great 1-2 punch ...

The Mexican Football Federation fired coach Miguel Herrera Tuesday, one day after he reportedly punched TV Azteca journalist Christian Martinoli in the neck at the Philadelphia airport. Mexico’s next competitive match, a playoff against the United States for a berth in the Confederations Cup, is Oct...

Can I Get Fired For Dating My Boss's Daughter?
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, where I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Today’s query:...

The Lifeless <i>Vacation </i>Reboot Is All Bowels And No Heart
1. The original 1983 National Lampoon’s Vacation is a classic because deep down, it’s essentially a sweet movie. The screenplay was written by John Hughes—based off the short story “Vacation ’58,” which he wrote about a family trip to Disneyworld, and which ultimately got him on the staff of Nationa...

And Now, Our All-Time Favorite Sports Video Games
Listen, it’s the dead of summer, only boring sports are happening, and nobody much feels like blogging any blogs, so let’s all play some video games instead. Here, now, the Deadspin staff reminisces on their all-time favorite sports games. Here’s how we wasted our youth; please stick around afterwar...

Dipshit Midwestern Dentist Identified As Cecil The Lion's Killer
When Cecil, Zimbabwe’s famous lion, was found to have been killed in early July, authorities initially searched for a Spanish killer. But nah. The Telegraph says it’s a trophy-hunting dentist from the Upper Midwest. Of fucking course it’s an American. We are the fucking worst....

Vladimir Putin Says His Homeboy Sepp Blatter Deserves A Nobel Prize
Since FIFA president Sepp Blatter won his first election in 1998, he has (allegedly! [lol]) both bribed and received bribes in order to stay in power and award desperate countries international tournaments. Along the way, he has actually and truly ravaged local economies by siphoning public money fo...

23 Things A Nicki Minaj Concert Taught Me About Taking Selfies
Nicki Minaj’s Pinkprint tour hit Brooklyn’s Barclays Center last night, and it was an excellent show! Her dancers are incredible, her vocal range is astounding, her costumes ruled, and holy shit, she brought out Lil Wayne! But aside from all that, the show was also prime selfie-taking ground. I lear...

Mexican National Team Coach Allegedly Punched A Journalist In The Neck
Mexican national team coach Miguel Herrera is a crazy person in good times and in bad. You’d think that good times would bring out good-crazy, and that Mexico’s referee-delivered Gold Cup win would elicit those happy emotions. But according to Mexican journalist Christian Martinoli, Herrera was not ...

Pedro Martínez Talks Dominican Pride In Stirring Hall Of Fame Speech
Pedro Martínez played up his heritage and spoke directly to his fellow Dominicans today at his Hall of Fame induction, dedicating the honor to his home country and declaring the award a “sign of hope, faith, determination, strength, courage, and dignity.”...

Royals Trade For Johnny Cueto, Gear Up For Postseason Run
The Royals have the second-best record in baseball, the fourth-best run differential, and lead their division by six-and-a-half games. Barring an incredible disaster, they’re going to the playoffs. But they still didn’t feel like the team was well-positioned, and on Sunday traded Brandon Finnegan, J...

Remember When Pedro Martinez Struck Out 17 Yankees?
Pedro Martinez is being inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame today, alongside Randy Johnson, John Smoltz, and Craig Biggio. As a tribute to one of the greatest, funniest, most dominant, most quote-worthy players of all time, let’s watch him strike out a bunch of Yankees in a complete game one-hit...

Arena Football TD Celebration An Extended Tribute To The Rock
Tonight the Jacksonville Sharks celebrated a blowout win over Tampa Bay and a berth into the AFL playoffs with a touchdown celebration taken straight from The Most Electrifying Move In Sports Entertainment. And in the no-fun NFL, it would be illegal, illegal, illegal. ...

A.C. Milan's Philippe Mexès Hammers Home Ridiculous Volley
Philippe Mexès gave A.C. Milan a 1-0 lead over Inter in an International Champions Cup match with this absolutely impeccable volley off a corner. This is nuts....