ti Page 1307 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Goddamn It, I Melted A Cutting Board In The Oven
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Sage Steele Should Be In Jail
I'm gonna preface this by saying that I love Sage Steele. She's black and cool and smart and elegant. These are all good things, things everyone should strive to be. But....
An Exercise Physiologist Explains Why 800 Meters Hurts Like The Devil
It's the first high school track meet of the season. Boys who have completed no warm-up whatsoever other than to wrestle over the last Reeses peanut butter cup stand, hands dangling like heavy weights, near the start line of the JV 800 meter run. Long of shin and weak of chin, they're inanimate, for...
Paiute Tribal Leader Faces Impeachment For Taking Redskins Gifts
A football autographed by Robert Griffin III ain't worth what it once was. But it might still cost a Utah tribal official her job. ...
The Time 9/11 Happened During Cristiano Ronaldo's First TV Interview
Hey, Ronaldo's first televised interview! What a skinny little lad he was! Just chatting away with a buddy on the subway! And what teeth! Nice little pad there, Ronny! Bet you played that PS2 a lot, huh! Oh, to just be watching the boob tube with the...uh, is that an airplane crashing into the World...
Yeah, Dustin Byfuglien's Going To Be Suspended For This
"Violent, deliberate," is how Rangers coach Alain Vigneault described Dustin Byfuglien's cross-check to a prone J.T. Miller. "Could have broken his neck. It was one of the most vicious cross-checks I've seen this year."...
This New Sierra Nevada Beer Is Offensive and Delightful
Yesterday, the Brewers Association, the Craft Beer Movement's™ leading definer of words and bestower of medals, published their list of the "Top 50 Breweries of 2014," by which they mean "50 Biggest Breweries That Happen to Meet Today's Definition of 'Craft,' Which We Change More Frequently Than Our...
Rex Chapman To Call Kentucky Game; Prosecutors Decline Theft Charges
The last time you saw Rex Chapman probably was in this surveillance camera footage from September, showing the former NBA shooting guard taking things off the shelves of a Scottsdale (Ariz.) Apple store. Police said Chapman never paid for those items; instead they said he sold the more than $14,000 ...
Watch Vince Neil Coke-Fart All Over The National Anthem
Former Mötley Crüe frontman Vince Neil sang the "Star Spangled Banner" at a recent Las Vegas Outlaws AFL game, because he is a part owner of the team, or something. The details aren't important. What's important is hoooooooly shit, Vince Neil is fucking smacked in this video! No sober man has ever...
A Great Pale Ale From A Shady, Pale State
I ran into an old friend Sunday afternoon, and he asked what I had planned for this Wednesday. I had no ready answer, of course, because what kind of a monster has anything particular planned for a Wednesday? I suppose if I'd thought it through for a few minutes I could have projected that as the da...
Cutting Down Nets Is Stupid
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering Easter, third parties, saunas, pencils, and more....
NASCAR Decries Indiana Anti-Gay Law
NASCAR has issued a statement expressing its disappointment with Indiana Governor Mike Pence’s decision to signing the "Religious Freedom Rights Act" into law, an act which could give Indiana businesses the right to refuse service to LGBT customers. ...
How To Make Friends With Other Parents Without Embarrassing Yourself
Hi, new parent. Welcome. So you have a kid now, and you may think sleepless nights and wide-arcing pee hitting you in the eye from an unencumbered baby penis are the worst things you'll face. But you are wrong. There is something else coming that could scare you into living in total obscurity in...
How About We Just Do Two More Weeks Of Wiggins Vs. Gobert
Listen, man, we're all ready for the NBA regular season to be over and for the playoffs to just start already. Russell Westbrook slaying the world is great and all, but the Raptors and Wizards zombie-shuffling their way toward what will be the saddest first-round playoff series in history while the ...
Nick Saban Says Alleged Woman-Beating D-Lineman "Still A Good Person"
Alabama head coach Nick Saban refused to apologize for signing defensive lineman Jonathan Taylor, saying the player's "still a good person" despite facing charges in two separate domestic violence cases in two different states. ...
Browns Fined And GM Suspended For Being Supremely Dysfunctional
Because it's only like the 16th most interesting thing to happen to the Browns in the last year, and because the Falcons are being punished—more harshly—at the exact same time, this latest Cleveland mini-fiasco threatens to fly under the radar. Do not let it. It's a perfect example of the team bein...
Thierry Henry Shows He's Still Got It With Ridiculous Fake-Shot Pass
Few things in sports are better than that collective "Ohhhhh" you hear from a soccer crowd when a player pulls off a stunning bit of skill like Thierry Henry's little move here. Commentator guy is right, even if it was only in the Steven Gerrard Testimonial, this is "one of the most ridiculous passe...
Jonathan Taylor Kicked Off Football Team At Alabama
After a second domestic violence arrest in as many years, Alabama DT Jonathan Taylor has been kicked off the team, the school announced Sunday. Taylor was arrested on two domestic violence charges Saturday. ...
Never Mind The Man Who Appears To Be Urinating Next To The Fairway
This weekend's Hassan II tournament on the Euro PGA tour wound up today in Morocco with Richie Ramsay taking home the trophy—but not before his tee shot on 17 appeared to come very close to a man, possibly a TV crew member, who looks to be taking a piss in the woods along the fairway....