ti Page 1318 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Deal With Valentine's Day, No Matter Who You Are
This year, Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday (FYI: It’s tomorrow), making it awfully convenient for those of you planning a romantic weekend getaway and a three-day headache for the rest of us. Let’s face it: This holiday isn’t the greatest no matter your relationship status. (The media/retail ons...
The Hater’s Guide To Chuck E. Cheese’s
I have a son who turned six a few weeks ago, and we needed to do something to acknowledge the milestone, even though turning six doesn't really mean anything. I have long been an advocate for the abolition of BIG BIRTHDAY, but kids have a knack for teaming up with the Birthday Industrial Complex ...
How To Be The Reluctant Guy At The Strip Club
So you're bound for a strip club against your will, because you've got to go to your brother's bachelor party with all his college friends, or your girlfriend is dragging you to check one out, or your boss thinks that's the best way to unwind during a business trip. You feel like a vegetarian at a s...
Ray Rice Apologizes To Baltimore
Ray Rice, hoping to resume his football career next season but understanding that it won't be with the Ravens, released a statement thanking the team, the fans, and the city of Baltimore, and apologizing to those he disappointed when he punched out his fiancée....
Champion Powerboat Racer Who Faked His Death Surrenders To Authorities
Andrew Biddle—the champion powerboat racer who authorities suspected of faking his own death in a boating accident—surrendered in Atlantic County Superior Court today. Biddle and a friend were supposedly in a boat that crashed into a buoy off of Longport (N.J.) last July. The friend swam to shore an...
Did This Comments Section Nostradamus Predict The Warriors' Season?
Most internet commenters are dumb, and you're better off never venturing into the comments section. A lot of the Deadspin staff subscribes to the Cigarette Theory of internet comments, which states that reading an internet comment is akin to smoking a cigarette. It's fine if you do so sparingly, but...
RGIII Is Not Kissing A Butt In This Picture, Believe It Or Butt
Quick! Look at this picture for just a second and then look away! ...
The Loopy <i>Project A</i> Is Jackie Chan At His Most Violently Ridiculous
There's a moment in the 1983 Jackie Chan movie Project A where he's dangling from a clock tower's minute hand, clinging for dear life as people watch him from stories below. Chan has always been a big silent-comedy head, and the scene was directly inspired by a famous stunt that Harold Lloyd pulle...
The Miseducation Of Deion Sanders
Deion Sanders knows better than most that there's power in a nickname. When he was still just a skinny cornerback at Florida State University, he dubbed himself "Prime Time" and birthed an alter ego that would earn him fame, riches, and a place in the pantheon of the 20th century's greatest athlet...
Cristiano Ronaldo Sings, Drops It Like It's Hot At Birthday Party
Real Madrid’s crushing defeat at the hands of rivals Atlético almost put a damper on that night’s previously scheduled party in celebration of Cristiano Ronaldo turning 30. Almost. Instead of feeling too down, Cristiano decided to sing and boogie the night away. Here’s a GIF of his best move from th...
Keith Olbermann Uppercuts Charles Barkley Into An Erupting Volcano
Charles Barkley said some really dumb stuff about basketball analytics on Tuesday night, and so Keith Olbermann dedicated a segment of his show to calling Chuck an idiot many, many times....
Bad Golfer Tiger Woods Taking A Break From Golf
Tiger Woods, last seen doing a very realistic impression of a terrible chipper, will take a break from tournament golf, he announced on his website. Woods withdrew from last week's Farmers Insurance Open with a back injury, but says it is unrelated to the surgery he had last March to relieve a pinch...
Is This The Best Festival Lineup Of All Time, Or Merely The Greatest?
Late '90s Me would have been thrilled by the just-announced lineup for this year's Amnesia Rockfest, held outside Montreal in June. But it turns out that 2015 Me is psyched as hell too....
High-Speed Chase Ends With Civilians Dishing Out Street Justice
Police got into a high-speed pursuit with a robbery suspect in Dallas today, and the chase ended when the suspect slammed into a line of cars at a stop light. That's when he was apprehended not by police officers, but by a road-raging couple who were not about to let some asshole just get away with ...
Looks Like Diego Maradona Went And Bought Himself A New Face
Looking good there, Diego! Like you've shaved years off your face! Those wrinkles at the corner of your eyes, the bags underneath them—all the evidence of your 54 years of hard living has just been wiped away. ...
Greg Anthony's Soliciting Charge Will Be Dropped
CBS and Turner NBA analyst Greg Anthony will have the soliciting prostitution charge that was brought against him dropped thanks to a deal with the D.C. Superior Court....
Jon Stewart Should Run For Office
So Jon Stewart formally announced his impending retirement/Jeter Farewell Tour last night. (Twitter, as it does, reacted as if he had died, so my condolences.) And naturally, he took a moment to say that he might use his time off to spend more time with his family. Now, you and I have heard this fr...
Carlos Lobatón Scores Surprising Outside Of The Foot Olímpico
On Sunday we saw Michael Bradley pull off an Olímpico during a friendly, and just two days later it has already been topped. This is the Peruvian Carlos Lobatón hitting an outside of the foot Olímpico for Sporting Cristal, against Cienciano in the Torneo del Inca, Peru's version of the FA Cup....
Ross, Be A Man Of Your Word And Eat Your Own Shit Now
A story in five tweets (context here):...
Cardale Jones Has An Important Update About Crushing Kids At Video Games
Back in January, Ohio State quarterback Cardale Jones visited some kids at the hospital. One of the kids unwisely hopped on the sticks like Jones was going to take it easy on him in the NCAA football video game. Jones did not take it easy, and beat the kid by a reported score of 91-35. Now, more tha...