ti Page 1341 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Willie Cauley-Stein Gets Posterized By Some Dude From Buffalo
Willie Cauley-Stein is one of college basketball's top players and perhaps the game's best shot blocker. The projected first-round NBA pick decided unexpectedly to return to Lexington this year, though maybe he's regretting that choice after being posterized today by Buffalo's Justin Moss....

700 Year Old Tito Ortiz Flips Off Stephan Bonnar
Some things never change....

UFC Card Features Gruesome Exploding Ear, Dude Maybe Shitting Himself
Leslie Smith fought on the prelims of tonight's UFC card in Mexico, and she is inhumanly tough. After a shot from contender Jessica Eye came damn close to entirely shearing her ear off, referee Herb Dean immediately called in the ringside doctors, who called the fight off only to be met with vigorou...

In A Sea Of Crimson Tide Pom-Poms, A Blow-Up Sex Doll
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

This One Guy Has Written Hundreds Of Awful Songs About Sports
Every time you stream a song on Spotify, the artist you're listening to gets some money. A very tiny amount of money. The exact amount varies, but according to a website set up by Spotify—as reported by The Guardian— it's between $0.006 and $0.0084 a stream. And that's just the money that goes t...

Tits Out For The Tide: Your <em>College GameDay</em> Sign Roundup
ESPN's College GameDay traveled once again to Tuscaloosa, where a surprising number of Jameis Winston sign-holders were in attendance. You know he beat Auburn, right, Bamafan?...

Argentine Club President Runs Up In Players' Homes 40 Deep, Robs Them
Jorge Abib is the club president of Argentina's Textil Mandiyú. He is insane. Why, just last night, multiple Textil players accused a possibly drugged-up Abib of rolling up to the players' apartment building with around 40 club ultras, busting into dozens of rooms, and breaking everything in sight w...

Carlos Bacca Scores Colombian Equalizer, Sparks Heavy Metal Meltdown
We highlighted Javier "El Cantante del Gol" Fernández's goal calls throughout the World Cup, and we're happy to bring you his especially-emphatic call of Carlos Bacca's equalizer against the United States today at Craven Cottage. (Sure looks like Colombia was offside here, though?)...

Foodies Claim Non-Artisanal Flour Is Poisoning You
For centuries, man has suffered under the unyielding tyranny of the automated mill and its proponents, who have consigned him to flavorless, unethical, and possibly poisonous baked goods. At last salvation is at hand, though, through the good offices of the artisanal food movement!...

<em>Sun-Times</em>' Bears Headline: "Hedy Hey Hedy Hey Hedy"
ledey ledey ledey ledey ledey...

Lou Reed Had Some Pretty Great Videos In The '80s
Better than Debbie Harry, I guess....

<em>Django Unchained</em> Gave Us The Quentin Tarantino Gunfight Of Our Dreams
Quentin Tarantino loves action movies in all their forms: ritualistic Hong Kong martial-arts epics, '70s car-chase odysseys, terse and meditative Japanese gangster flicks. He hires the stars of those old movies, and he peppers his own films with references in just about every way he can manage. But ...

Clayton Kershaw Is Great. But Pedro Martinez Was More Dominant.
When Clayton Kershaw is inducted into the Hall of Fame some day, we may well look back on this year as his best. For most batters, their only hope of hitting him this season was to swing at the first pitch hoping for a fastball. As ridiculous as his numbers are, though—a 21-3 record with a 1.77 ER...

Curt Schilling Has Disproved Evolution
I'm going to cut straight to the chase: Curt Schilling has no fucking clue what he's talking about. For the past 14 hours he has been sending out links to Geocities-looking websites and arguing with people about evolution on Twitter. Despite hundreds of people letting him know that he's wrong, Sch...

FSU's Karlos Williams Not Charged In Domestic Battery Investigation
The domestic battery case involving Florida State's Karlos Williams has been moved to open/inactive, so no charges will be filed unless something changes, according to a police incident report released today. The reason, according to the report, is that the alleged victim, the mother of Williams's...

Report: Skal Labissiere's Shady Guardian Asked How To Profit From Him
Six-foot-ten forward Skal Labissiere, one of the top prospects in the nation, is expected to announce tomorrow which college he will attend—Kentucky and Memphis are among the favorites. No one should get too excited. CBS Sports has a story featuring this pronouncement from one coach who's been in on...

Cleveland Paper Told Columnist To Write Apology Letter To Dan Gilbert
Cleveland Scene has a well-reported feature out today that attempts to dig into what role Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert's company, Quicken Loans, played in the subprime mortgage collapse of 2007. There's a lot of good stuff in the story, but one particular instance of Dan Gilbert being a thin-skinned ...

15-Year-Old Wonderkid Added To Video Game After Dad's Tweeted Permission
The real point of career modes in soccer video games is to snatch up a grip of the world's most hyped youngsters and slowly build a juggernaut. Fans of Football Manager—that impossibly detailed, life-consumingly fun computer game—were dismayed to find Norway's new starlet Martin Ødegaard missing...

Martin Jacobson Wins 2014 WSOP Main Event By Flopping A Set
Swede Martin Jacobson took poker's biggest prize with his first World Series of Poker bracelet in this year's Main Event, dispatching Norway's Felix Stephensen on the final table's 328th hand with trips 10s, a fitting hand to match his $10,000,000 prize....

Pearl Jam's Mike McCready Shreds National Anthem At Sounders Match
We've mentioned this before, but instrumental national anthems are better than vocal performances nine times out of ten. Another example: Pearl Jam guitarist Mike McCready playing "The Star-Spangled Banner" before last night's MLS Cup playoff match between FC Dallas and Seattle Sounders FC....