ti Page 1394 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Fastest Vegan In The World
Just over a year ago, Tony Jordanek stopped eating meat, cold Tofurkey. He'd been studying nutrition for months in a desire to fuel his athletic performance, and his conviction on meatless diets had reached a climax. So on the morning of a track meet in California, he switched....

Victor Martinez's Sexy Dance Is Very Sexy
Is the bat supposed to be a dick? I think the bat is supposed to be a dick....

<i>Hockey Night In Canada</i>'s "Entertaining" Darryl Sutter Montage Is Great
Hockey Night In Canada continues to have fun doing its thing and tonight, before Game 3 between the Kings and Rangers in New York, HNIC poked some fun at Kings coach Darryl Sutter. It is the least interesting bits of Sutter post-game pressers throughout the playoffs, set to Joplin's "The Entertaine...

Joe Maddon Calls In Medicine Man To Fix The Rays
The Tampa Bay Rays have the worst record in a professional sports league that includes the New York Mets, The Chicago Cubs, and the Houston Astros. Forget outside the box, they need to get as far away from it as humanly possible to think themselves out of this mess. Joe Maddon bringing in a Seminole...

Do Not Wear A Suit With Shorts
Men's shorts are OK. (Women's shorts are also OK, but they are much more obviously OK, and not what we are talking about.) Summers get hot around this part of the solar system; why swaddle those vast swaths of leg-skin behind fabric when you could use them, sensibly, to radiate your body's interna...

Robert Duvall: An American Hero, Or At Least An American Man
Careening down the road behind the wheel of a sturdy old Cadillac, Robert Duvall makes his intent clear: "I want some singin' and dancin'. And a woman. I want me a woman." With little more than a sharp tongue, pink and frequently squirming loose in anticipation, the weather-beaten octogenarian bulli...

John Harbaugh Crashes Marriage Proposal, Is Really Cool About It
This is fun. David Rudich brought his girlfriend, who is a huge Ravens fan, to the team's practice facility so that he could propose to her. Right after he popped the question, Ravens head coach John Harbaugh coincidentally came upon the happy couple. ...

Argentina Have Stopped Giving A Fuck, And Are Betting It All On Attack
Argentina has long been one of the best, most feared soccer nations in the world. Playing in the World Cup is just what they do. The tournament this summer will be their 16th World Cup appearance and 11th in a row, but they haven't won it since Diego Maradona scored maybe the greatest goal of all ti...

Miguel Cotto Is Golden Arms
In kung fu flixtory, Golden Arm is the leader of the Chi Sah gang. ("Both of his arms are as hard and solid as gold and are invulnerable to anything.") In boxing, Golden Arms is Miguel Cotto. Heavy arms, heavy hands, he touch you, you go backwards. ...

Cody Cepeda and his cold, dead eyes beat Tom Asta yesterday in Battle At The Berrics VII, S to S-K-A-T-E. Cepeda's coup de grace was a nollie halfcab double flip. He enters the final four as the the only "Joe," or non-sponsored skater, in the "Pros Vs. Joes" contest. The last rounds will be livestr...

Manny Machado Flings Bat Onto Field, Benches Clear Again
For the second time in three days, an angry Manny Machado caused the benches to clear between the Orioles and Athletics....

Leaving The Belmont Is A Disaster
The parking lot at the Belmont Stakes, after a bid for the first Triple Crown in 36 years, is a mess of people, automobiles, and dirt. It was a huge event where over 100,000 people reportedly watched California Chrome come up short. Now they all want to leave and there's no lighting, no employees or...

The Marty St. Louis Special
This one-timer from Derek Stepan to Martin St. Louis gave the Rangers a brief 3-1 lead in the second period. Three minutes later, Willie Mitchell scored on the power play to bring the Kings back within one. 11 seconds after that, Derick Brassard stuffed a bouncing puck past Jonathan Quick to put the...

This Guy Will Be Representing England In The Marathon
If you've ever been fat, lazy, addicted to cigs and junk food or old, or if you have a job, you might find Steve Way's story inspiring. ...

Pete Rose To Manage Baseball Team
The Bridgeport Bluefish, a Connecticut-based team in the Atlantic League of Professional Baseball, has announced that Pete Rose will be a "guest manager" for the team on Monday, June 16th. ...

Benches Clear Because Manny Machado Did Not Like Josh Donaldson's Tag
That is a headline you just read. Sometimes baseball is just the worst. ...

St. Gregory's University President Defends Athletic Director
SGU president D. Gregory Main has released a statement on the firing of cross country and track and field coach Matt Aguero. Unsurprisingly, Main claims it's Aguero who "unethically violated" Athletic Director Dr. Jeff Potter's right to be a babbling idiot with insensitive and antiquated views on th...


After I Self-Destruct: The Diminishing Skills Of 50 Cent
The first words out of 50 Cent's mouth on Animal Ambition, his first new album in five years, are "I woke up this morning, this is insane / Rich as a motherfucker and ain't much changed / Open my eyes, no surprise, I'm with a different bitch / Different day, different ass, different tits." The miso...