ti Page 1592 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NCAA Is Using Penn State To Justify Its Own Horrid Existence
OK, first of all, you people at the NCAA are gutless shitbags. I know you're probably spending this morning in an Indianapolis conference room patting each other on the back and tugging each other's cocks and ordering EXTRA Einstein bagels for everyone for a job well done (why not, you've got $60 mi...
The A's Finishing A Four-Game Sweep Of The Yankees Is So Improbable It Sounds Like Something Out Of WWE
A game-tying homer in the ninth forced extras, and Coco Crisp's 12th-inning walkoff single closed the door on an unexpected four-game series sweep of the Yankees for Oakland. The performance had Yanks fans wondering if happy days would ever return and the rest of the American League East breathing ...
Drew Brees's Attorney Drafts Affidavit In Support Of Jonathan Vilma, Drew Brees Signs Affidavit
The affidavit was filed in federal court on Saturday in support of Jonathan Vilma's motion to dismiss Roger Goodell's decision to suspend Vilma for the 2012 season....
Roberto Hernandez Apologizes To Cleveland Fans, Fans Are Just As Confused As You Are
"But he...that guy looks like...Faus...to?"...
Dongs In Relief: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
What would we do without you guys? If it wasn't for the all the unintentional dong submissions, we interns would just be frantically Googling "phallic" and "penis vegetable," desperate for anything that looked even remotely like a dong. But you guys always come through. This time around, we begin w...
Man Ruins Perfectly Good Sweater With Tribute To Joe Mauer
Sometimes the wastefulness of Americans is downright disgusting. We have homeless folks who would be eternally grateful for the shirts off our collective backs and this selfish jerk just decides to ruin his sweater by cutting into it so it would look like a Joe Mauer jersey....
Miguel Batista No Longer On Best Team In Baseball
To be fair, he never really was on the best team in baseball, but the Mets designated Miguel Batista for assignment on Sunday morning....
Tiger's Errant Drive At 11 Today Created A Thundering Herd Of Freaks
A haphazard day for Tiger Woods continued at the par-five 11 this morning as his tee shot went well to the right, landing behind the gallery and creating a stampede of idiots desperate to get a glimpse of Tiger's golf ball. Our favorite is backpack guy, but there's plenty of gems to pick out in sl...
Report: NCAA To Hit Penn State With "Unprecedented" Penalties
Tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m. in Indianapolis, the NCAA will reportedly announce how it intends to punish Penn State following its handling of the the Jerry Sandusky scandal. The penalties have been termed "unprecedented" and will be leveled at both the school itself and the football program....
Colorado St. Recruit Injured In Colorado Shooting
Zack Golditch, a high school senior who recently committed to play football for the Colorado State Rams, was among the injured following the shooting at the midnight showing of The Dark Knight in Aurora, Colorado. Golditch, along with current and future teammates were in the theater adjacent to the...
Feeding Seagulls Laxatives Ends Exactly As Expected
This is terrible. If you've ever had a bird shit on you, you know this. It once happened to me, actually—my fault for going to Shea Stadium....
Tim Tebow Is Working On His Mechanics With An Expert (In Something)
Tim Tebow is doing everything he can to prove he is a legitimate NFL quarterback to all those doubters out there. Everything now includes working with former major league pitcher Tom House....
U.S. Open Videobomber "Jungle Bird" Checks In At The British Open
When last we saw "Jungle Bird," he was caw-cawing his way through the trophy presentation at the U.S. Open. The deforestation activist has now made his way to Royal Lytham & St. Annes for the 2012 British Open Open Championship....
Rob Gronkowski: Offical Zubaz Spokesman
It was only a matter of time, wasn't it? Rob Gronkowski, who has been seen wearing the quintessential early nineties fashion disasters and little else this off-season, is now officially promoting the Magic Eye and cotton sweatpants....
Remembering The Pre-Famous Ben Stiller Of <em>The Ben Stiller Show</em>
You'd think life would be pretty good for Ben Stiller. In the last six years, he's been part of six movies that made more than $100 million. Another one, the indie drama Greenberg, earned him great reviews. He's one of the biggest comic stars in the world. A lot of people would love to be in his pos...
Counterpoint: Ads On Jerseys Are Bush-League Crap, And If You Think They're OK, You're A Stooge
Oh, gee, the NBA wants to build on its incredible globe-spanning success and goodwill by putting ads on its uniforms, because...that's how they do it in the WNBA. And MLS. And various other unpopular and/or foreign sports leagues, and uh NASCAR, which, really? NASCAR was a long-form automobile comme...
Bryce Harper's Beautiful Swing Doesn't Need Any Fixing
Recently, Yahoo's Jeff Passan wrote a piece on MLB wunderkinds Bryce Harper and Mike Trout, and he had this to say about Harper's game:...
Not Even Kate Middleton's Family Is Safe From The Olympic Branding Gestapo
We all know the Olympic folk are very touchy about their trademarks. No non-sponsor companies allowed in the Olympic village. No posting Facebook photos or Youtube videos from the games. No small businesses using any two of the terms "Olympic, London, 2012, summer, or games."...
Why Jessica Ghawi Wrote Under The Name Redfield: Moving Stories From The Shooting Victim's Colleagues
Jessica Ghawi, Jessica Redfield in bylines, was by all accounts a likable, hardworking young journalist doing a hell of a job trying to make it in a tough field. We've all been there, which is why her death in today's Aurora movie theater shooting is being taken so hard by the sports media....
![The NRA Wishes Shooters A Happy Friday [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17tez6o9y5j93jpg.jpg)
The NRA Wishes Shooters A Happy Friday [UPDATES]
Early this morning, the American Rifleman, the self-described "official journal of the National Rifle Association" sent out the following tweet:...