ti Page 1594 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
An Iroquois Lacrosse Squad Beat Team USA For The First Time Ever
In an upset that undoubtedly has laxbros crying into their Sperry Top-Siders, the Iroquois Nationals defeated Team USA at the U-19 World Championships in Finland today 15-13....
Try To Look Surprised: Ozzie Guillen And Bryce Harper Have Beef
Ozzie Guillen is upset about something or other, bemused sources tell exhausted beat reporters. Also Bryce Harper did something with something and something something professional something something respect for the game....
Reds Prospect Billy Hamilton's Legend Continued After Hitting This Inside-The-Park Homer
The story of this minor league season has been Reds shortstop prospect Billy Hamilton, who after stealing 104 bases in 82 games with the Bakersfield Blaze, earned a call-up to the AA Pensacola Blue Wahoos. (He also turned some heads during the All-Star Break Futures Game along the way.)...
Minor League Mascot Eats It In ATV Crash
Rip Tide, blue fursuited embodiment of the Triple A Norfolk Tides, was out for his usual four-wheeler cruise around the stadium when he took the right field turn a little too sharp. Rip Tide was unharmed but embarrassed (especially when he couldn't get his ATV running again), and I think The Oriol...
Ozzie Guillen May Wish To Avoid Taking Managerial Advice From Tinfoil Hat Guy
Ever-profane Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen got himself into a bit of hot water Sunday as his gripes about Nats rookie Bryce Harper's bat drew the ire of home plate umpire Marty Foster. Foster told Guillen to shut his trap about what the Miami skipper felt was too much pine tar on Harper's stick, af...
Tim Tebow Refuses To Do Book Signing For Christian Book Store Near Jets Training Camp
The New York Jets will kick off their 2012 training camp schedule at SUNY Cortland on July 26, 2012. Excitement is high in the city for the month-long economic/notoriety boon. Even more so than usual because, OHMIGODTIMTEBOW. He's on the Jets, remember?...
Jason Kidd Allegedly Drives Into A Telephone Pole, New Boss James Dolan's Cable Company Has To Clean Up Mess
A reader sent along a few pictures of the aftermath of Jason Kidd's wild Saturday night/early Sunday morning. Initially we were excited because maybe they would show Kidd's car at the scene and other interesting aspects. While it certainly appears to be the scene—in the last picture in the gallery y...
Intentional Dongs In A Penn State Area Golf Course: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Ok, Lou, relax. We are back after taking last week off. So sorry to interrupt your weekly dose of unintentional dongs. Today we start with a quite intentional sand trap dong at Toftree's Golf Course in State Park. Our reader informed us that one of these beauties appeared in one of the sand traps o...
San Francisco Giants Almost Give Game Away In One Of The Worst Ways Imaginable
It's the bottom top of the ninth, and San Francisco is protecting a 2-1 lead over the Astros. Two out, 1-2 count, man on second. The Giants' Santiago Casilla gets Chris Snyder to swing and miss. Ballga—woops! The ball got away from Hector Sanchez and so he quickly airmails it to first base, pulling...
Gregg Williams Is Still A Hometown Hero As Far As Applebee's Is Concerned
Former Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams has been mostly out of the public eye since he became the poster boy for the NFL's bounty problem. But as host of an annual charity golf tournament, you get to talk to reporters for a little bit. Williams spoke briefly before refusing to comment on ...
Need To Get In Shape? Ray Lewis Has A Deck Of Cards That Can Be Yours For $75.
That's right: All you need to work out the Ray Lewis Way are some hand weights, a jump rope, 52 days of your time, and that deck of cards you see right there. According to the Baltimore Sun, Lewis is hocking the deck on his website for $75, though there's a promotional offer available today that wil...
Christopher Nolan Is A Summer-Movie Superhero
Loving big summer movies as an adult can be a sad and lonely thing. When you're a kid, any action blockbuster that you watch is epic. You haven't seen enough to compare. But then you get older, and you realize that they follow certain formulas and attract a certain audience, which is a lot younger t...
American Baby Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse
My wife has a subscription to Parents magazine, and the fun thing about Parents magazine is that every issue is virtually identical. Whether you pick up the June 2008 issue or the March 2012 issue, you're still getting all the same shit, including items like "567 fun knitting crafts to help stave of...
This Lady Might Show Her Hoo-ha For Five Hundred Canadian Bucks
Meet Christa, licensed cosmetologist, office secretary, and all-around refined lady. Christa disapproves of all those painted-up trollops on TV who go around flashing their delicate flowers. In fact, she has a sound piece of advice for celebs who complain that their "nudie pictures" are being shar...
Here Are The 50 Most-Watched Sporting Events Of 2012. Football Owns America.
As they do every year, Sports Media Watch has compiled the ratings for the 50 most-viewed sports telecasts of the first half of 2012. What can we learn?...
Prestigious University Penalized For "Lack Of Institutional Control" In Athletics Program
Yeah, it's not the one you're probably thinking of. Today, the NCAA brought the hammer down on the California Institute of Technology's athletics program for allowing "30 ineligible student-athletes in 12 sports to practice or compete during four academic years." How does that even happen at a major...
The Freeh Group Will Investigate The Saints Next
Freeh Group International Solutions—the firm that just dumped 267 pages of dirt on Penn State—isn't done internally investigating embattled football programs. On June 8, nola.com reported Saints ownership had hired former FBI honcho Louis Freeh's consulting and investigations firm to look into two t...
When Current PSU President Rodney Erickson Bent The Rules For Jerry Sandusky
On November 9, the same day Joe Paterno was fired and students rioted in the streets of State College, the Penn State Board of Trustees removed school president Graham Spanier. In his place they appointed Provost Rodney Erickson as interim president. A week later, they removed the "interim" tag. Jus...
Last Night's <em>The Franchise: Miami Marlins</em> Distilled Down To Its Motherfucking Essence
The Miami Marlins all-access curse-fest that is The Franchise premiered last night on Showtime, and the first episode made for enjoyable viewing (more enjoyable, at least, than the ESPY Awards, which it ran against). Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria bet the house on the 2012 season, hoping a new stadiu...
The NCAA Is Reading The Freeh Report Very Closely
Is the Penn State scandal an NCAA matter? We are a lot closer to finding out. The official statement, released earlier today:...