ti Page 1635 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Time I Tried To Get Tim Tebow To Sign <i>The Origin Of Species</i>
Earlier this week I went to a New York Jets open practice in Florham Park, NJ. I brought with me a copy of Charles Darwin's The Origin of Species with the plan being that I get Tim Tebow to sign it. It would have been a fun little bit of Gotcha! shmournalism, I suppose. Sadly, I was not successful....
Jury Awards Victims $11 Million in Pacman Jones Case
Welp, it looks like Adam Jones can amend his Scared Straight syllabus. A jury has awarded the victims in that Las Vegas shooting case $11 million in damages. Predictably, the opposing attorneys each have a different take....
![Fernando Tatís Had A Nice Chat With Homer Simpson On Twitter [CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17py99ljkjesnjpg.jpg)
Fernando Tatís Had A Nice Chat With Homer Simpson On Twitter [CORRECTION]
To hear Fernando Tatís tell it, he learned to speak English from The Simpsons while he was working his way up through the minor leagues. He eventually made it out of the the minors and played 11 season in Major League Baseball for the Rangers, Cardinals, Nationals Expos, Orioles and finally the Met...
Justin Tuck's Crazy New Facemask Is Awesome <em>And</em> Functional
This season New York Giants defensive end Justin Tuck will be taking the field with a particularly striking helmet that looks like something that a mean robot would wear. Although the mask is aesthetically pleasing and will make Tuck look undeniably badass, it actually serves a purpose as well....
You Whores: A Complete Guide To Woody Allen's Many Hooker Characters
When you've made over 45 films, it's pretty hard not to repeat yourself. Woody Allen's latest, To Rome With Love, which opens next Friday, has lots of now-familiar features: It's set in a touristy European city, it has a large cast (Alec Baldwin, Jesse Eisenberg, Ellen Page), and it deals with matte...
The Mets Consider A "Quiet" Section For Autistic Kids
A couple days ago, the Mets sent out an email survey. Lots of boring questions meant to "improve your ballpark experience," but one caught the eye:...
Manny Ramirez's Dreads Will Cause Drug Use, Abortion, Gayness, Blindness, Fan Tells The A's Triple-A Affiliate In Insane Voicemail
This disgruntled fan of the Sacramento River Cats would like you to know that she is NOT fuddy duddy. Nor is she a crackpot. She just thinks that Manny Ramirez's dreadlocks are the reason that "unwholesomeness" is spreading across the American landscape. I strongly urge you to listen to this voic...
Banana On The Pitch! A Roundup Of Horrible Euro 2012 Fans, With Croatia In The Early Lead
Ah yes, the traditional banana hurled at a black player. Euro 2012 is officially on!...
Charles "Peanut" Tillman Scornfully Responds To Local Teacher's Anti-Bears Math Homework
The Bears' Pro Bowl corner Charles Tillman was promoting his Cornerstone Foundation in a suburban Chicago runner's shop, when he was approached by a teenaged girl. She was the daughter of the store's owner, and she was just killing time doing her math homework, when she came across a problem she tho...
The Stupid, Stupid, Unforgettable Madness Of Adam Sandler. <em>That's My Boy</em>, Reviewed.
There are few things in modern cinema as reliable as an Adam Sandler movie. Since 1992, he's appeared in at least one film every year except for 1997, and just about all of them have been terrible. And yet there's something oddly comforting and exciting about the arrival of a new Sandler offering. I...
How Not To Be The Biggest Asshole In Media: 4 Lessons I Learned From Meeting Jay Mariotti And Reading His Awful Book
It's been almost two years since Jay Mariotti last wrote a sports column or appeared on ESPN. In that time, sports media's ur-controversialist—a pioneer of the sportswriters-being-dicks-on-television genre—has pleaded no contest to misdemeanor stalking and assault-related charges stemming from a hai...
Derek Lowe And Dusty Baker Are Having The Greatest Feud Ever
The exact origins are still unclear, but Indians pitcher Derek Lowe and Reds manager Dusty Baker have hated one another for quite some time. Who knew? The bad blood finally simmered over last night and into this morning, starting with a pitch Lowe believed was thrown toward him under orders from Bak...
Swedish Team In Trouble After Bare-Assed Game Of "Butts Up"
In my schoolyard it was called "butts up." In yours, it might have been "asses up," "wallball," "red ass," "suicide," but the game is the same, and taps in to the primal center of young boys' brains. It's essentially handball, but the first one to run up a certain number of "outs" must lean against ...
Accuser: Jerry Sandusky Called Himself The "Tickle Monster" Before Touching Him In Shower
We'll have a more comprehensive roundup of the last two days of testimony at the Jerry Sandusky trial a bit later, but here's something particularly icky that just couldn't wait: An alleged victim who took the stand this morning said Sandusky referred to himself as the "tickle monster" before huggin...
After 38 Studios Goes Broke, Bank Sues Curt Schilling
Immediately after Rhode Island extended the beleaguered 38 Studios a $75 million dollar loan, Curt Schilling's company took out a $2 million letter of credit from Citizens Bank as the security deposit on their Providence offices. Well, that's all gone now. 38 Studios is bankrupt, the office is close...
Who Will Win This Year's U.S. Open? Probably Someone You've Never Heard Of
Golf's major tournaments just haven't been that interesting lately. Over the last 17 majors, there have been 16 winners. In theory, this could be nice! A little diversity, a little surprise. But since Tiger's sabbatical, we've lost any hope of narrative. Individual sports thrive on story lines, riva...
Dave Winfield Appeared In An 80's Ad For Toronto Tourism, Years Before Joining The Blue Jays
Dave Winfield only spent one season with the Blue Jays, but his role in helping Toronto win the 1992 World Series made him a legend in the eyes of Hogtownians. That wasn't always the case, though. After a 1983 incident in which Winfield killed a seagull during warmup tosses—an incident that earned...
The NFL Asks Pacman Jones To Scare This Year's Rookies Straight
I guess being a 147-time offender in the NFL actually does have its perks. Adam Pac-Man Jones told the Cincinnati media that Commissioner Roger Goodell has called on him to speak to this year's group of incoming rookies on how they can avoid screwing up whatever promising career they hold in front o...
So, Who Embarrasses Himself The Most In <em>Rock of Ages</em>?
The central appeal—or anti-appeal—of any Hollywood adaptation of a musical is not about the music or the choreography or the set pieces; it's about watching actors who don't usually sing, sing. One of the most fun aspects of Chicago was learning how charming and deft Richard Gere was; it was equally...
More People Watched <em>SpongeBob</em> Than Game 5 Of The Stanley Cup Finals. Last Week's Sports TV Ratings, In Context.
A weekly feature wherein we contextualize TV ratings for national sports broadcasts. Data via Nielsen and Sports Business Daily. Viewership numbers represent the number of households tuned to a given program; ratings share refers to the percentage of all households using a television who are turned ...