ti Page 1638 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Taunting In Professional Bowling Is The Best Taunting
There was a lot riding on Pete Weber's final roll at last night's Professional Bowlers Association's U.S. Open. The 49-year-old Weber needed no less than a strike to defeat Mike Fagan to become the first man to win the tournament five times, and to become the oldest man to win the event. But this w...

NHL TRADE FUCKING DEADLINE
There's the closing bell, and we've broken out the all-caps and fired up the ol' siren gif. That can only mean one thing: the NHL's trade deadline has passed. Lots of smaller-but-significant moves made (trade trackers here, here, and here), but everyone wants to know: whither Rick Nash? We'll know i...

Boston's Clubhouse Beer Ban Is A Victory For Stupid People Everywhere
Jon Lester said he's not proud of what happened. Josh Beckett called it a "lapse in judgment." Clay Buchholz said he'll learn from "bad decisions." David Ortiz says it won't happen again. We will merely point out that a Major League Baseball team drank beer, and it's been a story for four-and-a-half...

How The Doping Case Against Ryan Braun Fell Apart: One Theory
The conventional wisdom on Ryan Braun's overturned doping suspension is that it was a triumph of cautious proceduralism over substantive justice—a victory for protocol and a rare (and for my money not entirely unwelcome) defeat for the drug cops. Baseball's testing program caught a juicer, the think...

After Latest Injury, Joel Zumaya Might Become A Professional Fisherman
The former Tigers flamethrower, whose Twins career ended with a UCL tear before really starting, told the AP, "I'm a pretty dang good fisherman, so I might pursue professional fishing." Watch for tendinitis when you reel 'em in, buddy....

A.J. Burnett's Single Greatest Contribution To The Yankees Will Live On
There's still a month before the season begins, and already the Yankees have been able to replace A.J. Burnett's value to the team. No, it's not a WAR-level replacement player. Ha! That's a good joke. I wish I'd thought of it....

Nicki Minaj Had A Bit Of A Wardrobe Malfunction In The NBA All-Star Pregame
Fresh off her aiding and abetting of M.I.A.'s Super Bowl impropriety and a batshit insane Grammy Awards performance Nicki Minaj got a bit too worked up during the announcement of tonight's All-Star Game lineups, it would seem, and had a falling-out with her undergarment....

Special Edition Jose Canseco Tweet As Motivational Poster
This is a new feature where we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....

BBC Tries its Damnedest Not To Show Streaker At Six Nations Match, Shows Streaker Anyway
The Beeb's a paragon of good taste and proper culture, which rather makes you wonder how the Six Nations rugby competition ends up on its esteemed airways. (Or this.) Yet there it is, and in today's match featuring France against Scotland in Edinburgh the BBC found itself face-to-face with a nake...

Cristiano Ronaldo's Latest Goal Was Truly Outrageous
A well-played match to the point by Rayo Vallecano fell to bits when Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo put the Whites up 1-0 with this straight-up stupid blind back heel goal that somehow navigated itself past teammates, defenders, and the keeper. Call it a ¡ozaloG! [ESPN Deportes]...

Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters
This is a new feature where we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....

Ben Henderson Severely Messed Up Frankie Edgar's Face En Route To Winning The UFC Lightweight Belt
In one of UFC's better title fights of late, Benson Henderson claimed the lightweight belt as he won a unanimous decision over Frankie Edgar at UFC 144 in Tokyo Saturday night. His ability to seize victory came in no small part to this perfectly-placed second-round upkick that mangled Edgar's face,...

Anthony "Showtime" Pettis Knocked Out Joe Lauzon With A Kick To The Skull
UFC 144's opening event of the Pay-Per-View didn't last long, as Anthony Pettis knocked out Joe Lauzon in the first round of their lightweight bout in Tokyo....

There Is A Tim Tebow iPhone Game, And It Is Terrible
While the iTunes Store exploded with Tim Tebow-related apps in the heyday of Tebowmania, none of them really qualified as "games," most being trivia or Bible-related. Sensing a gap in the market, an outfit called TriStar Games (presumably no relation to the film studio) released "Tebit Time" earl...

Mishaps In Online Advertising: The Danica Patrick Edition
Welcome back to Mishaps in Online Advertising. Today, thanks many of you readers, we have Danica Patrick spinning out of control. Fortunately for her, she's got that $500 vanishing deductible. Someone is on her side....

Ken Dryden Discusses Maple Leaf Gardens Sex Scandal
In Today's The Globe and Mail, former Canadiens goaltender and current Canadian politician, Ken Dryden, wrote one of the more open and honest essays on sexual abuse you'll read....

Bobby Valentine Kicks Off The Boston Teetotaler Party
Bobby Valentine has outlawed alcohol in the Boston Red Sox clubhouse. He has also banned alcohol on flights that come at the end of a road trip. Although Valentine did not discuss the rule with the team prior to enacting it, David Ortiz is on board and provided a much-needed voice of reason....

Minnesota Man Videotapes Girls High School Basketball Games, Masturbates And Perpetuates Creepy Stereotypes
Richard Querna "likes to film the ones with talent." But what does he mean by talent? "When [Mankato policeman Dale Stoltman] asked if Querna likes to film the ones that are good looking, the man "acknowledged that might be true." Ah....

Welcome To Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters
We're debuting a new feature today where we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....

Pirates Owner's Response To Team President's DUI Gives Us The Best Headline Of The Day: "Nutting Right On Coonelly"
I'm pretty sure the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette intends to tell us that columnist Ron Cook thinks Pirates owner Bob Nutting is correct for continuing to support team president Frank Coonelly, whose DUI arrest in December just became public knowledge yesterday. The headline was no doubt written that way ...