ti Page 1669 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

David Ortiz, You Are NOT The Father
"According to a report in the Dominican newspaper Hoy by veteran baseball reporter Dionisio Soldevila, a DNA test showed that David Ortiz was not the father of a 17-year-old in the Dominican Republic. Ortiz was the subject of a paternity claim by a woman whom Ortiz said he had never met." [Boston He...

If You Weren't Hanging Out With Joe Buck And Dave Coulier Last Night, You're Nobody
So Joe Buck, Dave Coulier, Darren Pang, and radio guy Kelly Chase got together for last night's Blues game. And you still think the Illuminati aren't real? Wake up, sheeple. [Twitter]...

Freeroll Is Back: Play Fantasy Basketball Tonight For Free, Win $500
Back by popular demand, it's another DraftStreet freeroll. It's a one-time thing, and if you can assemble the best team without going over $100,000, you might just win up to $500 to spend on whatever or whomever you please....

Gambling Expert Calls Action On Auburn Games "Inconsistent" With Point Shaving
Yesterday, Yahoo's Charles Robinson reported that suspended Auburn point guard Varez Ward was under federal investigation for alleged point-shaving. Robinson mentioned two games that the feds were looking into—a 56-53 loss to Arkansas on Jan. 25 and a 68-50 loss to Alabama on Feb. 7. In the Jan. 25 ...

There Is A Rich History Of Fans Shining Laser Pointers In Athletes' Eyes, Especially Cristiano Ronaldo's
Perhaps you heard about the latest hockey dad behavior, in which a maybe-well-meaning father shined a laser pointer in the eyes of the other team's goalie. But you probably hadn't heard that there's a long, fine tradition of shining lasers in pro athletes' eyes. Cristiano Ronaldo, naturally, gets ...

Bobby Hebert Thinks Bountygate Is Elaborate 'Conspiracy Theory'
Might this whole Bountygate debacle be some conspiracy theory concocted at the behest of the national media's Illuminati-controlled wing? WWL's John "Spud" McConnell and former Saints quarterback Bobby Hebert sure seem to think so. The damn national media is just so damn jealous of the Saints that...

Fear, Defined: PGA Golfer Hits His Drive Directly At You, And You're On Top Of A Crane
Skyjacks and other individuals who make their living at high elevation get paid well because the fear of heights—also known as acrophobia—is far from uncommon. We're also built to avoid hard objects flying at us at high speed, which is why this clip from today's WGC-Cadillac Championship round fro...

Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Persistente
This is a feature where we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....

Report: FBI Investigating Auburn Point Guard For Alleged Point-Shaving
Auburn point guard Varez Ward is under investigation by the FBI for alleged point-shaving, according to Charles Robinson at Yahoo. Ward, who was suspended by Auburn at the end of February for "violating team rules," may have conspired to rope other players into the alleged scheme, say Robinson's sou...

Cardio And Pooping: A Chart Of Every MLB Player Who Reportedly Lost Or Gained Weight This Offseason (And Why)
Every spring training, seemingly every other ballplayer shows up to camp and declares himself "in the best shape of my life." Our pal Craig Calcaterra over at HardballTalk has done yeoman's work on this phenomenon over the years, but we wanted to know more: Who gained weight? Who lost weight? How mu...

Steakhouse Waiter Fired For Showing The World What A Great Tipper Peyton Manning Is
Peyton Manning went to the Angus Barn in Raleigh, NC. Peyton Manning tipped his server, Jon, an extra $200 on top of the included gratuity on a $740 bill. Peyton Manning is a good guy and Jon wanted to share that with the world. Now Jon's looking for another job....

<i>Silent House</i> And The Rise Of The Gimmicky Horror Movie
On Friday, the horror movie Silent House comes out. One of its selling points is that it stars Elizabeth Olsen—who was terrific last year in a very different sort of horror film, Martha Marcy May Marlene—but probably the hook that will be most intriguing to genre fans is that the whole movie takes p...

While Messi Was Scoring Five Goals, Cristiano Ronaldo's $300,000 Lamborghini Was Getting Towed
Remember when "Messi or Ronaldo" was like, a thing? Feel silly these days, don't we....

The Data Behind Yu Darvish's Brief But Devastating Debut
Texas Rangers hurler Yu Darvish made quite the spring training debut today against the San Diego Padres. (Of course, he cost the team more than $107 million, spent the last seven years pitching competitively in Japan, and these were the Padres, so you'd think he would do OK.) Still, thanks to some f...

Slam Cover Goes Retro, With Rubio and Love As Marbury And Garnett
Slam's Farmer Jones has a lovely story on what it took for Kevin Love to earn this honor—a year-old promise that if he could average 20 and 15, the cover was his. Love somehow did it, but these days you can't do a T-Wolf without including Ricky Rubio. So the two recreated a famous 1997 cover, featur...

New Illinois Football Coach Using Porridge As Punishment
This is how Tim Beckman hopes to rid the Illini program of the taste left by Ron Zook's seven seasons in charge:...

Hines Ward Signs With Ravens, Reports Pittsburgh TV Station That Fell For Obvious Parody
It’s not clear how this exclusive BroCouncil “report” could have fooled anyone, let alone that intrepid crew of news readers at WPXI-TV, who lamented Ward’s departure for the Steelers’ biggest rival at the top of their 6 a.m. newscast this morning....

FLOTUS On Board: One Reader's Boldest Experience
Ring the bells—the winner of the "My Boldest Experience" essay contest has been chosen. Behold, a tale of cargo vans and khaki pants by Deadspin reader Cameron B., who is just won a $100 AMEX card. Read and be inspired....

LSU Football Gives Tryout To Homecoming Queen (Who Once Kicked A 90-Yard Goal In A Soccer Game)
Does LSU football have a placekicking problem? It wouldn’t seem so. They’ve got this guy, who sprained his knee last year but doesn’t seem to miss field goals too often. They’ve also got this guy, who competently handles kickoffs. But do they have a female kicker who was the 2011 homecoming queen? T...

Four Arizona Football Players Arrested When House Party Turns Into Lady-Punching Time
Arizona Wildcat spring practice began Monday, so it was just a matter of time before we got our first "Arizona football players arrested" story. And here it is!...