ti Page 1672 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Doc Gooden Missed The Mets' Victory Parade In 1986 Because He Was Doing Coke, And Other Depressing Tales
It's time for some uplifting news from the good folks at E:60! It's a rare occasion when "club in Long Island" is not the most soul-wrenching part of a story, but this is one of those times. ...
Happy Halloween! Meet The Human Centipede Pumpkin
We here at Deadspin are great fans of the Human Centipede series of films—the second of which hit theaters a week and a half ago. And we're also great fans of Halloween, or something. So when some reader—in this case Adam K., of lovely Wrightsville Beach, NC—sends us a Human Centipede-carved pumpkin...
SprtsCntr: Herm Edwards Says Many Emphatic Things About Quarterbacks
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Disgraced Ex-FIFA VP Plans To Disgrace FIFA President With "Tsunami" Of Corruption Charges
FIFA, if you are so inclined to take notice, is potentially in the midst of a total organizational breakdown, because we're now hearing what we already knew all along: FIFA is very corrupt. This is a special breakdown, though, because it is one in which the accused person in power attempts to deflec...
Won't You Help The Man With The 100-Pound Scrotum?
The Las Vegas Review-Journal today brings us the heartbreaking story of one Wesley Warren Jr., who just three years ago possessed a scrotum as normally sized as yours or mine. (Click here for video.) But something happened, something doctors can't explain. Suffering from scrotal elephantiasis, Warr...
A List Of Places Where Brett Favre Is Also Not Going, Yet
There is a special moment in the news cycle during which outlets report on things that are not happening, but that maybe could happen, but that also could not not happen because it would be so interesting if they did happen. Do you follow?...
Someone Drew A Dong On Chris Cooley's Finger Cast
Cooley's dong has long been a friend of Deadspin, and we're glad that the Redskins TE finally embraced his inner donginess, even if it took a broken index finger to do it. He's out up to six weeks....
Derrick Mason Says Those Five Games He Played For The Jets Never Actually Happened
From the New York Post: "To me, I went from Baltimore to here [the Texans]," Mason told The Post after the Ravens beat his new team 29-14. "I don't know what you're talking about when you mention that other place, but this place here I'm excited about."...
We're Getting Closer To An Actually Useful Goalie Statistic
You weren't chased away by a post dealing with hockey and Sabermetrics? Good for you! Then you've probably watched enough icepuck to realize that save percentage is a pretty weak measure of a goalie's ability. All shots are not created equal—a slapper from between the circles is going to be harder t...
Christian Ponder Came Out To Play Last Night, And So Did The "Ponder" Puns
Throughout the first three quarters of the Bears-Vikings game last night, Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth mentioned Christian Ponder, as well as "ponder" puns, as many times as they possibly could....
This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Kicking off this week's batch of dongmania is J.W from Staten Island who "took my family pumpkin picking this past Monday and we also picked some random gourds up. The picture of the attached gourd has a fine shape and texture. My wife and I named it 'The Harvest Dong.'"...
Watch Jim Harbaugh And Jim Schwartz Almost Fight
This pretty much speaks for itself. Harbaugh pulled the ol' Lift Up My Shirt In Exultant Victory And Exuberantly Slap Five With My Opponent. Schwartz wasn't feeling it....
Why Yes, It Does Look Like A Clemson Coach Had A Michelle Obama Trapper Keeper On The Sidelines
Not sure who. Not sure why. Not sure how. But yes, tipster David S. — who wishes he'd turned his lamp off before photography commenced — is correct in thinking that's an image of First Lady Michelle Obama on an assistant Clemson University football coach's folder last night....
Wrongfully Imprisoned Man Wins His Pro-Boxing Debut At 52, Retires Undefeated
Despite the apparent disgrace that was last night's Hopkins/Dawson "fight," it wasn't an altogether horrendous evening for the "sport" of boxing. Take 52-year-old Dewey Bozella's professional debut against an 0-3 palooka named Larry Hopkins (ironic, but no relation)....
Your Tigers-Rangers ALCS Game Six Open Thread
It's Max Scherzer vs. Derek Holland tonight as the latter's Texas Rangers attempt to close out the former's Detroit Tigers and advance to the World Series for the second consecutive year. Excitement. Experience it via comments here....
If Tom Verducci Thinks Justin Verlander Pitched Like Bob Gibson, Tom Verducci Has No Idea Who Bob Gibson Is
Look, please, for pity's sake: Justin Verlander pitched a mediocre game last night. Craggs already said his piece about the frantic efforts of the sports press corps to sculpt the pile of horse poop Verlander left on the pitcher's mound into a living, breathing unicorn. The relentlessly genial Joe P...
All Involved In The Vancouver Riots Can Turn Themselves In And Get A Free Massage Or Manicure
Vancouver-area spa empire Eccotique has announced its "Calm Down and De-Stress" promotion, whereby participants in June's Vancouver riots can earn a $50 gift certificate for turning themselves to the Vancouver Police Department....
Justin Verlander "Gutted Out" "Gritty," "Gutsy" Performance Last Night, Writes Every Sportswriter Everywhere
Justin Verlander threw 133 pitches yesterday, which is a lot, and he gave up four runs on eight hits, which isn't so great. By most standards, he pitched a so-so game. By his standards, he was awful. But because the Tigers won a game they had to win, and because the prevailing narrative calls for Ju...
Arron Asham And Jay Beagle Give Hockey A Fight To Fight About
All right everyone, we're about to discuss a hockey fight, so I need you to put on your level heads. There's going to be talk of league office discipline, and a bit about the culture of enforcers, and maybe even a mention of concussions. These are topics that cause otherwise normal individuals to ...
A Native American In Denver Turns His Lonely Eyes To Tim Tebow
Your morning roundup for Oct. 14, the day Snoop Dogg, a Welsh farmer and a "real big vegetable" made for the greatest broadcast news story ever. Photo courtesy of Busted Coverage, via @SirKingRyan. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....