ti Page 1707 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's A Beautiful Animation Of The First Of Five El Clásicos This Year
Your morning roundup for April 28, the day we learn that God's advice for ending a 46-day beer-only fast is with a bacon smoothie, forever and ever, Amen....

Here's Video Of That Mile-Wide Tornado Deciding, On A Whim, To Spare Alabama's Bryant-Denny Stadium
Let Tuscaloosa resident Phil Owen describe the damage that the mile-wide twister captured in this video wrought upon Alabama today:...

Figure Skater Gracefully Elbows The Shit Out Of Her Partner's Face
At the world figure skating championships today, Canadian Eric Radford took the full force of his spinning partner's elbow to the face at the start of their routine. The graceful attack came at the end of a triple Lutz-twist lift, which is apparently a thing that people know about — and even with ...

Yankees Accidentally Leak Personal Info Of 20,000 Season Ticket Holders
The New York Yankees accidentally distributed a file containing information on more than 20,000 season ticket accounts. The spreadsheet contains account numbers, names, addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses, and was mistakenly sent to thousands of current clients....

Livan Hernandez Is Wrapped Up In Puerto Rican Drug Dealer's Octopus Tentacles, Claims Awesome Graphic
Nationals pitcher and '97 World Series MVP Livan Hernandez is implicated in a case involving Puerto Rican drug kingpin Angel Ayala Vázquez (alternate titles: "Angelo Millones," "El Buster"). But he's not alone: El Vocero handily details all nine men compromised by the lawsuit and entangled in "los t...

Anonymous Baltimore Orioles Employee Goes To Great Lengths To Inform Us That Coworkers' Wives Also Hate Obama
We received this envelope today, just two days after posting this critique of ESPN's profile on Baltimore Orioles outfielder Luke Scott. Immediate thought: a terrible press release, for some reason sent via paper, or some kind of cease-and-desist letter for misrepresenting Cal Ripken's children's bo...

Update: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is Now $80.21
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....

Obama Released His Birth Certificate In The Face Of Unrelenting Pressure From Tommy Tuberville
Tuberville, appearing Tuesday on Sean Hannity's TV show: "We've got enough controversy going on in this country. I don't know why he wouldn't just step up and say, ‘Here it is.' Obviously, there's got to be something on there he doesn't want anybody to see." [Lubbock Avalanche-Journal]...

As With Many Things, Rick Pitino Pulls Out Of Puerto Rican Coaching Job After Brief Flirtation
Louisville head coach Rick Pitino announced today that he will not coach the Puerto Rican national basketball team, citing conflicts with his duties at the University of Louisville. The job would have taken him away from the Louisville campus during the fall for a tournament in Brazil, and the NCAA ...

Here's Your MLB Play Of The Season As Ryan Raburn Assists A Home Run
That's Detroit's Ryan Raburn with the Cansecoesque slap assist on Miguel Olivo's fly ball to left. Ryan, you have joined the immortals. [MLB.com]...

Luke Scott Is Still A Gun-Humping Birther Survivalist Lunatic, Chickenshit ESPN Story Won't Say
Luke Scott is a gun-humping birther survivalist lunatic who keeps a pistol in his sofa cushion and throws plantain chips at a black teammate when he acts "like a savage." Sounds like an asshole, right? But things aren't so simple, ESPN's Amy K. Nelson tells us in her recent profile of Scott, and she...

Sportswriters Struggle With Turns Of Phrase For Franklin Gutierrez's Spastic Pooping
At least Franklin Gutierrez now knows what caused all of his stomach problems for nearly a full year. Gutierrez visited the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota earlier this week, where he was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome as the cause of his stomach issues that first popped up last summer....

Jim Tressel Is The Perfect Coach
I used to think Jim Tressel was scum. Covering up his players' transgressions, hiding them from his school and NCAA. But I've been reading over the allegations, just doing some sittin', and some thinkin', and I'm man enough to admit I was wrong. Jim Tressel is the ideal coach for a big-time program ...

Addicted To What The Sticks Did
Golf, in real life, never took root in me. I had friends who played, and invited me along. As a young sports writer I covered a couple of exciting tournaments. In college, I enrolled in a golf class my senior… [Kotaku] ...

The Brief Local Nightmare Of A City Whose Mayor Is Kevin Johnson Is Over For Now
Emma, your esteemed video editor, remarked earlier today, as the Deadspin team was on its way back from the Glenn Ligon exhibition at the Whitney, that we just had seen a strange relic....

So It's Come To This: Mets Fans Wearing Paper Bags
Things are coming to some kind of head in Flushing. Wednesday, fans begin to show up with brown paper bags over their heads, probably the most evocative visual for this team since that Post cover of sad Mr. Met. Even the media started tuning the losses out....

Baseball Advertising Creeps Into Fair Territory
In American sports we pride ourselves on keeping ads off the players, unlike in soccer. But they'll put ads damn near everywhere else: The Padres now have a giant golf club for a rightfield foul pole. Remember folks, if it hits the TaylorMade driver, it's a home run — of savings! [San Diego Union-Tr...

Now, Tony LaRussa Is Ugly On The Outside, Too
The 2011 St. Louis Cardinals Curse has now manifested itself as a physical deformity, albeit one of a temporary nature. Take a good hard look at manager Tony LaRussa's face. Look deep into his open eye, but avoid gazing into the one that's caulked shut with conjunctivitis. Listen as he tells you ho...

The Time The KKK Politely Asked For A "Klan Day" At The Reds' Ballpark
These four letters procured by Deadspin's house MLB archivist, Pete Nash, show that the Ku Klux Klan wrote polite letters and were extremely generous about their flower boquets. At least that was the case in 1924. ...

Geriatric Clemson Football Fans Have Finally Gone Too Far
Here are some guys who still talk about recovering that fumble in the end zone during the homecoming game 40 years ago. Give it up, though, for Clemson coach Dabo Swinney, who runs this fantasy football camp and is either a very committed actor or someone who has memorized enough stock pre-game sp...