ti Page 1750 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Year Of The Pitcher Dies Premature Death, Aged 29 Days
What some were already calling the second straight "Year of the Pitcher" in baseball came to an abrupt end yesterday, as bats exploded into craziness around MLB....
The Bears Forgot To Report Their Draft-Day Trade, So It Never Went Through
Not a huge fuckup, as far as draft-day fuckups go, not like a Christian Ponder-level fuckup, but a fuckup nonetheless. When time ran out on Baltimore's 26th round pick, and the Chiefs leapfrogged them in the order, everyone assumed it was the Ravens that dropped the ball. But no, it was Jerry Angelo...
Deion Sanders May Have Found A New Football-Playing Host Upon Which He Can Attach
Your morning roundup for April 29, the day "special cookies" in zip-lock freezer bags got real....
More Baseball Fans Care About Andre Ethier's Bowels Than Chipper Jones's Switch-Hitting Prowess
In tipster Zachary P.'s estimation, the difference between Andre Ethier's hit streak and Andre Ethier' shit streak is minimal. It is....
Dana White Demands A Porn Star On A Leash
Never one for choosing his words to women carefully, Dana White has now taken to Twitter to attack mild-mannered porn queen Jenna Jameson, the sometime significant other of Tito Ortiz:...
John Daly, Marriage Expert, Thinks Tiger Wasn't Getting Enough Sex In His
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: a man with four ex-wives dispenses advice on happy golf marriages....
The Perils Of Pissing At A Bruins Game When You Are A Canadiens Fan
Here is an ad for adult diapers from Barstool Sports. If this Canadiens fan squeezed out a drop or two, he almost certainly shat himself as well....
Here's A Beautiful Animation Of The First Of Five El Clásicos This Year
Your morning roundup for April 28, the day we learn that God's advice for ending a 46-day beer-only fast is with a bacon smoothie, forever and ever, Amen....
Here's Video Of That Mile-Wide Tornado Deciding, On A Whim, To Spare Alabama's Bryant-Denny Stadium
Let Tuscaloosa resident Phil Owen describe the damage that the mile-wide twister captured in this video wrought upon Alabama today:...
Figure Skater Gracefully Elbows The Shit Out Of Her Partner's Face
At the world figure skating championships today, Canadian Eric Radford took the full force of his spinning partner's elbow to the face at the start of their routine. The graceful attack came at the end of a triple Lutz-twist lift, which is apparently a thing that people know about — and even with ...
Yankees Accidentally Leak Personal Info Of 20,000 Season Ticket Holders
The New York Yankees accidentally distributed a file containing information on more than 20,000 season ticket accounts. The spreadsheet contains account numbers, names, addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses, and was mistakenly sent to thousands of current clients....
Livan Hernandez Is Wrapped Up In Puerto Rican Drug Dealer's Octopus Tentacles, Claims Awesome Graphic
Nationals pitcher and '97 World Series MVP Livan Hernandez is implicated in a case involving Puerto Rican drug kingpin Angel Ayala Vázquez (alternate titles: "Angelo Millones," "El Buster"). But he's not alone: El Vocero handily details all nine men compromised by the lawsuit and entangled in "los t...
Anonymous Baltimore Orioles Employee Goes To Great Lengths To Inform Us That Coworkers' Wives Also Hate Obama
We received this envelope today, just two days after posting this critique of ESPN's profile on Baltimore Orioles outfielder Luke Scott. Immediate thought: a terrible press release, for some reason sent via paper, or some kind of cease-and-desist letter for misrepresenting Cal Ripken's children's bo...
Update: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is Now $80.21
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....
Obama Released His Birth Certificate In The Face Of Unrelenting Pressure From Tommy Tuberville
Tuberville, appearing Tuesday on Sean Hannity's TV show: "We've got enough controversy going on in this country. I don't know why he wouldn't just step up and say, ‘Here it is.' Obviously, there's got to be something on there he doesn't want anybody to see." [Lubbock Avalanche-Journal]...
As With Many Things, Rick Pitino Pulls Out Of Puerto Rican Coaching Job After Brief Flirtation
Louisville head coach Rick Pitino announced today that he will not coach the Puerto Rican national basketball team, citing conflicts with his duties at the University of Louisville. The job would have taken him away from the Louisville campus during the fall for a tournament in Brazil, and the NCAA ...
Here's Your MLB Play Of The Season As Ryan Raburn Assists A Home Run
That's Detroit's Ryan Raburn with the Cansecoesque slap assist on Miguel Olivo's fly ball to left. Ryan, you have joined the immortals. [MLB.com]...
Luke Scott Is Still A Gun-Humping Birther Survivalist Lunatic, Chickenshit ESPN Story Won't Say
Luke Scott is a gun-humping birther survivalist lunatic who keeps a pistol in his sofa cushion and throws plantain chips at a black teammate when he acts "like a savage." Sounds like an asshole, right? But things aren't so simple, ESPN's Amy K. Nelson tells us in her recent profile of Scott, and she...
Sportswriters Struggle With Turns Of Phrase For Franklin Gutierrez's Spastic Pooping
At least Franklin Gutierrez now knows what caused all of his stomach problems for nearly a full year. Gutierrez visited the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota earlier this week, where he was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome as the cause of his stomach issues that first popped up last summer....
Jim Tressel Is The Perfect Coach
I used to think Jim Tressel was scum. Covering up his players' transgressions, hiding them from his school and NCAA. But I've been reading over the allegations, just doing some sittin', and some thinkin', and I'm man enough to admit I was wrong. Jim Tressel is the ideal coach for a big-time program ...