ti Page 1801 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

John Cusack, Chris Chelios and Eddie Vedder Walk Into A Ballpark...
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Hilariously Gross Brett Favre News To Surface Soon
And it has nothing to do with his alleged retirement this time around. No, no — it turns out the heroic Gunslinger of yore has a little scoundrel in him, too. But you must wait, mongrels....

Did Glen Davis Spurn LeBron Over His Dance Moves?
One highlight of ESPN's spiked LeBron story was the surreal moment of Celtics forward Glen Davis chancing upon the festivities and dismissing the scene. We thought it was because he didn't approve, but his dancing skills may be the true reason....

American Footballer’s Soccer-Themed Touchdown Celebration
It was a toss up for the final video treat of the day - between the above, and a rendition of "Fire" by Kasabian, now that it's been unveiled as the official football song for the coming season....

"Those Guys Have All The Fun," Will Make Many "Fun" ESPN Employees Crap Their Pants
There's a creeping paranoia in Bristol thanks to the upcoming 2011 release of Jim Miller's and Tom Shales's massive oral history of ESPN. What filthy skeletons will reveal themselves? Even ESPN execs will have to wait....

Phillie Phanatic Immortalized As Art, Promptly Vandalized
Not all of Philadelphia has Phillies Phever. Two men were arrested for assaulting a 6-foot, 100-lb sculpture of the Phanatic. His prehensile tongue offered pathetically little defense....

Andre Ethier Gets Ridiculous Kobe Bryant Treatment From <em>LAT Magazine</em> — You Know The Drill
In an interview and photo shoot with LA Times Magazine, who've got this thing down, the Dodgers' Andre Ethier reveals himself to live in Hollywood and be a foppish dandy....

Here's Karen Sypher, Seconds Away From Blowing Her Lawyer
Sypher's former lawyer Dana Kolter testified that they had an "intimate relationship" before he threatened to sue Rick Pitino as part of her extortion plan. Jurors were then shown photographs of Sypher and Kolter engaging in oral sex....

Does Kim Kardashian Know About This?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

LBJ's South Beach Recession: 30 Jobs Lost
Back when the Three Kings were the rejuvenating rage, Miami Heat spokeswoman Lorrie-Ann Diaz said, "We couldn't get [the ticket-sales staff] to go home!'' Until Friday. When 30 of them were laid-off since there were no tickets left to sell....

Hockey Goon Wants to "Change the World"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

When UGA Frat Boys Attack (Over a $105 Tailgate-Parking Bill)
Some scene setting: The AEPi chapter at the University of Georgia recently notified alumni that the cost of tailgating at the bros' house was going up....

Diamondbacks Become Immigration Battle Prop
At last night's epic Mets/Diamondbacks showdown at Shi, er, Citi Field, Arizona-immigration-law protesters took to the diamond in the Wonder Twins Power form of Two Guys with Mexican Flags....

World's Best Soccer Player Forms Universe's Worst Bro-Band Tribute Band
It was looking good for futbol to get some American respect. It's looking less good today....

Lovable Psychic Octopus To Be Exploited Further
Paul the Octopus—prognosticating scamp and cephalopod—won our hearts during the World Cup. His ability to pick mussels has landed him a print advertising campaign for a supermarket chain. The ad, pictured, roughly translates to "Where they buy today? Good decision."...

Strasburg Usurper Manages To Offend Beauty Queen
Miguel Batista managed to offend hundreds of Washington D.C. baseball game attendees Tuesday when he had the gall to make a spot start in place of D.C.'s Lord and Savior, the very much injured Stephen Strasburg. Then he went and dissed Iowa....

Icky Icky Blowjob News From The Pitino Extortion Trial
Let's check back in with Matt Jones of Kentucky Sports Radio, and today's oral sex update — featuring visual aids!...

Father Of The Year Makes Daughter Pose With Barracuda That Ripped Her Flesh Open
This happy fellow is Rob Parker, with a 42-inch long barracuda that he caught. This traumatized girl is his 14-year-old daughter, who was the bait. He made sure to get this photo before they went to the hospital. (Bloody, NSFW-ish photo inside.)...

Is Bryce Harper's Facebook Page Real?
The Washington Post asks the same question, but Harper's page appears to be so good it has to be a parody. Whoever it is, they sure love putting exclamation points and various : ) emoticons in their updates. Maybe he's a 13-year-old girl?...
