ti Page 1801 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
When Mortal Kombat Meets Wall Street
The Shaolin Temple, birthplace of popularly known kung fu, is preparing an IPO. Shares pay dividends every time a little guy beats up five bikers in a bar. [Daily Telegraph]...
Your Early Games Open Thread
Dear NFL Network: thanks to you, the teams on the early slate are a combined 34 games under .500. Dear blizzard: today wouldn't have been the worst day to knock out TV reception. [The506]...
Yes Virgins, Shaq Did Have Sexual Relations With Gilbert Arenas' "Baby Mamma." You Can Blame Feminism For That.
Last month, news reports began to surface that a centimillionaire professional athlete may have been unfaithful to his wife. Next someone's going to tell me Barney Frank is sodomist....
Minnesota "Wild Fire" Pun Used in Headline
Oh, here is some non-skeleton racing news, for you! Everything the Minnesota Wild own burst into flames in Canada, yesterday. Everything! Also they all have the flu....
The Rich Eisen Problem
America is tired. We are, we're told, by the television, on the "wrong track." We are worried about debt. About our children. We worry, I think, most of all, about the NFL Network broadcasting important late-season games....
Bears Grounded in Chicago
The Chicago Bears are unable to make it to Baltimore, because of the massive terrible snowstorm that literally everyone in the mid-Atlantic area is being a tremendous baby about....
A New, Moderately Offensive Podcast Is Open For Business
Please go take a listen to the Spider And The Henchman show on Adam Carolla's podcast network. I'm honored I was picked to be their first guest. Topics of note: Tiger, Magic's HIV, and Eddie Murphy's tranny parties. Gurgle. [SpiderAndTheHenchman]...
Are SportsNation's Poll Questions Tough Or Very Tough?
Another question: Are the 40,000-plus people who responded either bored with their lives or very bored? [ESPN, h/t reader JB]...
How Tiger Woods Bought Off The National Enquirer
In one of the strangest twists of the Tiger Woods saga, it turns out that this whole public breakdown could have happened two years ago, if only Tiger hadn't cut a deal to squelch some "incriminating" photos back in 2007....
ASU Baseball About To Set A Dubious Record
With the pending investigation of "major infractions," Arizona State could become the all-time leader in NCAA violations. Purists demand a playoff, so that FSU can have its shot. [Arizona Republic]...
<em>New York Times</em> Gets A Piece Of The Tiger Action With Its Hysterical PED Story
Tony Galea was arrested in October after a pack of Mounties found HGH and something called Actovegin in his medical bag. Neither, so far as science knows, is a performance-enhancing drug, but people have decided to lose their minds anyway....
Some Things Are More Important Than Football, But Not In Alabama
Yesterday, we told you about the Alabama lawyers (pictured?) who asked a judge to postpone their case so they can attend the BCS Championship Game. Well, the judge—an Auburn fan!—granted their request. It's a travesty of good sportsmanship....
Your 2009 SHOTY: Tiger Woods
As you would could have guessed, Tiger Woods was the runaway winner of the 2009 Sports Human Of The Year award. Even though his breakthrough came late, it's difficult to argue he didn't earn it....
Chris Henry's Many Rises and Falls
Chris Henry led a life that seemed to be nothing but trouble, but not long after being hailed by friends, teammates and the media for turning that life around, one more tragic mistake ended it....
Last Night's Winner: Kobe
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Kobe Bryant, who has been in much worse jams than Tiger Woods and he's doing just fine now. Can you sink putts at the buzzer?...
Single UT Fan ISO Total Whore
You'll find a ton of people begging for tickets to the National Championship Game. But one lonely longhorn has two seats, and just needs a piece of ass to fill them....
UF Football Not About To Get Any Classier (Update)
Not for nothing have they garnered the "University of Felons" nickname. I'm not saying a top recruit posing with a gun and $16 is necessarily a crime, but it's not going to change any impressions....
Chris Henry Suffers "Life-Threatening Injuries" In Domestic Dispute/Car Accident (Update)
The Bengals wide receiver was seriously injured today after falling out of the back of a pickup truck driven by his fiancée, with whom he had been arguing....
Glenn Beck Is (Gasp!) Right About Football Helmets
Professional lunatic Glenn Beck has argued—based on this article in the Wall Street Journal—that football helmets are evil, because they make players reckless and, eventually, crippled. It's pains me to say so....but he has a point....
Pitchers Make Everyone Swoon (AND ANGRY!)
Rich Harden signs his life over to Arlington and El Fightins will do the awkward here's-your-jersey presentation with Roy Halladay at 5 p.m. Buster Olney's grinding the Jamey Carroll beat. And why does Buster only follow this dude? HOTFUCKINGSTOVE....