ti Page 1823 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
FIU To Boycott Cancer Benefit Unless They Don't Have To Play Mean Old UNC
I believe Oddjack would have set the odds of Isiah Thomas causing controversy at Florida International at 0.5 games into his college coaching career. If you took the under, you are a winner....
At Last, A Carl Monday Video That Will Never Be Rubbed Out
For too long, the video of wanking correspondent Carl Monday's investigation into the activities of Mike Cooper's right hand has been subject to the whims of copyright enforcement. No longer. Here it is, brand spanking new, archived for all eternity....
Cohort Of Talented Mr. Roto Allegedly Fornicates At Ben Hill Griffin Stadium
"I mean this literally. I snuck in to the stadium, with a girl, and fucked her on the goal line of the south end zone. Right below the goal posts, underneath the national championship signs." WWTTD? [IHopeTheyServeBeerInHell]...
What Mysterious (And Heroic) Injury Is Tim Tebow Hiding?
Tebow missed practice! TEBOW MISSED PRACTICE! Something about a stiff back, which shouldn't be a problem for a running quarterback with weak mechanics. But it doesn't matter because he's a walking M.A.S.H. unit that you cannot keep off the field....
Upon Further Review, Tim Donaghy Back In Jail
The disgraced NBA referee was living in a half-way house while awaiting release on his conspiracy conviction, but has been ordered back to prison because of a unspecified parole violation. The whole thing sounds fixed to me. [AP]...
One More Columnist Boldly Proclaims That Vince Young Is Not A Good NFL Player
Although Vince Young schizophrenically told Esquire he'd be enshrined in the Hall of Fame and the next black quarterback to win a Super Bowl, it appears only his mother and the voices inside his head believe him....
Return Of the Deadspin Pub
The pub reopens on the heels of Jozy Altidore's inspired Premier League debut in the season's second weekend. Read on for yesterday's results and today's featured match, the West London derby between Chelsea and Fulham....
Fisticuffs In New York: Mets Fan Gets Soaked, Dropped
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
A's Pitcher Is Latest Member Of The Sadness Brigade
Justin Duchscherer has been on rehab since March with a hip injury. Now, he's shut down for the rest of the year with "a very treatable form of clinical depression." The treatment is "not playing for the A's." [SF Chronicle]...
Did Lou Holtz Just Say That Notre Dame Will Play For The BCS Title?
Yes. Yes, he did. He doesn't think they are the second-best team in the country, but they have the "best chance" to run the table and face Florida for all the marbles. The infuriating part is that he's right....
Cut Limes and Cut Loose
It's Dance in Public Day! Why not erupt into dance everywhere you go? Do the "Bus Stop" at the bus stop and the "Stanky Leg" anywhere. Grand finale: get the entire bar into a Conga Line while raising your Coronas....
"Fan Cans" Let You Chug For Alma Mater
Anheuser-Busch takes the problem of underage drinking very seriously, especially on campus, where binge drinking has become an epidemic. So to demonstrate their solidarity with college-age alcoholics, the company is now producing cans in your favorite school's colors!...
Orioles Fan Overestimates His Five Tool Abilities
Quick poll question: When a guy runs on the field during a baseball game, do you root for the dude or security? Or do you just root for blood? Keep in mind, you're at an Orioles game....
Father Chooses Alabama Football Player Over His Own Daughter In "Lovers' Quarrel"
Alabama sophomore Courtney Upshaw and his girlfriend were both arrested and charged with domestic violence/harassment last night—and the father of the girl is not happy. After all, it's completely his daughter's fault for picking on that poor linebacker....
Plaxico Burress Heading To Jail
In a surprise twist to an otherwise boring legal hearing, Plaxico Burress plead guilty to attempted criminal possession of a weapon and has accepted a two-year prison term, plus two more years of "supervised release."...
Insensitive NFL Sells Brett Favre Dog Jerseys!
OMG, you guys! Can you believe the Minnesota Vikings are such cold heartless bastards that they would profit off the pain of animals by selling personalized dog jerseys! It's almost like they don't care how ridiculous your pets look!...
Paper Tigers: Memphis Didn't Win Those Things They Won
Your new NCAA record-holder for most wins in a season: the four teams that used to hold it before Memphis won 38 in 2007-08. That's because Memphis has to vacate all of them, plus their Final Four appearance....
Victor/Victoria
Androgynous distance runner Caster Semenya has won the 800 final at the track and field world championships, shaving more than a second off the year's fastest time as if it were an unwanted penis. [IAAF]...
Brendan Haywood Apologizes For Gay-Panicky Dig At Marbury
"I don't support or condemn homosexuality," Haywood explains agnostically, before diving into the comments and discoursing with the rabble on such matters as race, sexuality, the First Amendment and showering with men. [Yardbarker]...