ti Page 1828 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Look At You. You Disgust Me.
Hey you. Yeah, you. You a big sports fan? Of course you are. You fat bastard. You make my physically ill....
Weak-Hitting Player Rips Manager For Not Letting Him Hit Weakly
"I don't appreciate the disrespect, because I've been playing hurt for a guy who won't respect you. I don't deserve it...It's time for me to move on." -Melvin Mora, (.256, 3 HR, 27 RBI) on being benched. Again. [Baltimore Sun]...
Why Today's Red Sox Steroids Story Is More, And Less, Important Than It Seems
Steroids? In Boston's clubhouse? Big news a week ago. Now it's something of an afterthought that a pair of team staffers were let go for steroid use. But this story's going to be huge, and I'll tell you why....
Whither Mutton Bustin'? How the Culture of Self-Esteem Is Ruining An American Tradition
We can all agree that Mutton Bustin' is a good thing. But are liberal parents threatening the sanctity of this fundamentally American rite of passage? Yes. They are....
The Patriotism Of "Mutton-Bustin'": The Young Men In The Arena Clinging Bravely To Our Last Chance At Global Competitiveness
Long before they became known as beacons of transgender pride and abortion on demand the great Republican Teddy Roosevelt observed the nation's cities to be poor places to raise children, because "most good games are against the law."...
Lions Coach Mocks Matthew Stafford
Jim Schwartz had a bit of fun at the expense of the future of the Lions. He showed the whole team some vacation pictures, and then he said: "I thought I had a fun vacation - until I saw this.''...
The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....
If You Want a Ride In James Harrison's Smart Car, Ask For a Ride in James Harrison's Smart Car When He Hasn't Won the Super Bowl
James Harrison, who is reportedly afraid of one perfectly dignified method of transportation, showed up to training camp in in a tiny German clown car. He is driving it for the children!...
MORE BREAKING: Blogger Has Crush On Tim Tebow
This day was chock full of Tebow news, huh? Some of it was even covered on the definitive internet address for Tebowniacs, TimTeblog.com. I'll give you one guess who is behind TimTeblog and his name rhymes with Shan Danoff....
MLB Deadline Deals: Everyone Must Go
Victor Martinez to Boston, Peavy to White Sox (coughshoulderinjurycough) Washburn to Tigers (huzzah!), Orlando Cabrera to Minnesota, Scott Rolen to the Reds for some unknown reason, and Roy Halladay isn't going anywhere. Was it good for you too? [MLB.com]...
Starred Commenter Theater: Cannonball
Canada's Eric Sehn dives in the men's 10m platform preliminaries at the World Championships last week. [Reuters via The Big Picture]...
American Sports Need More PowerPoint Presentations
Michael Owen—remember the "Michael Jordan of soccer" talk?—put together a 32-page brochure about his accomplishments and handsomeness to try and convince teams to give him a contract. Nothing says "dangerous goal scorer" quite like bar graphs! [DailyMirror/Decleater]...
No One Is Buying The Arturo Gatti Suicide Story
Fight promoter Lou DiBella got a standing ovation at a memorial service when he said, "God knows that Arturo Gatti never quit in his life. Arturo Gatti did not quit in Brazil." Now that's how you work a crowd....
BREAKING: The Only Thing Not Perfect About Tim Tebow Is His Vision
The Tebow is nearsighted. He just got glasses before the ESPYs, but does not wear (or were) them during the football. No contacts, either. Yet, somehow he throws many, many touchdowns! HOW DOES HE DO IT? [Gainesville Sun]...
In Which We Drink In The Hilarious Naivete Of Red Sox Nation
Michael Schur (aka Ken Tremendous) is smarter and funnier than I'll ever be. That's why I was floored yesterday to see him post this on Twitter:...
Curt Schilling Talks To Curt Schilling About David Ortiz
Nothing really happens to the Red Sox until Curt Schilling says it happens, so the pitching maestro sat down with himself for an informative Q & A about how the David Ortiz situation affects Curt Schilling....
Odd Foreigner Chooses Fruity Little Tattoo Over Reebok Deal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Golf Course Hunting Gives New Meaning To Notching A Birdie
A golf course in northern Indiana has a geese problem. Specifically, there's too many of them, honking and crapping everywhere. The city council's solution? Golfers with guns....
PapiGate, Straight From The Hub's Mouth
In the wake of today's David Ortiz revelations, Deadspin takes an schadenfreudian informative look at the reaction from the comment boards of Boston's newspapers. Let's witness the five stages of grief in one afternoon, plus plenty of trolling....
Muscly Nuisance Has Some Thoughts About Latest Steroid Revelations
"What I speak out of my mouth is the truth," says Jose Canseco, sounding very much like a man carrying two stone tablets down Mount Sinai. "It burns like fire. Just remember, I have never lied about this subject."...