ti Page 1855 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

An Oddly Fitting End To Detroit's Final Four
All week long we heard about how much this game meant for the city of Detroit. Since the "Detroit" team was left a humbled, burned-out shell of its former self, I'd say that's appropriate....

Josh Pastner Now In Charge Of The Door
Memphis has promoted boyish assistant Josh Pastner to replace John Calipari as their head basketball coach. But when does the live 24-hour live web feed begin? [MyFoxMemphis]...

The Iowa Hawkeyes Are Already In Midseason Form
One should never go into spring break cold. It's important to ease into it with a few warmup public intoxication arrests, as these three Iowa football players can tell you....

Someone Went A Little Nuts With The Paint
I find this court design a bit disorienting, but perhaps the players in the women's Final Four in St. Louis have had no problem with it. Whoa, OK now I'm dizzy. [Yahoo Sports]...

Orioles Fans Prepared To Explain To Teixeira That All Is Forgiven
The weather looks fine for the Orioles home opener today against the Yankees (4 p.m., ET), with the forecast calling for scattered clouds, variable winds and a 95 percent chance of heavy cursing at Mark Teixeira....

Are You Ready To Welcome Your New Kansas City Overlords?
The New York Times has picked the Royals to win their division. Let that roll around on your tongue for a bit. Mmmm (cough). [New York Times]...

Soccer Player Receives Yellow Card For Farting
A Chorlton Villa footballer "broke wind" during a penalty kick and received a yellow card for his efforts. (And the other team got a re-kick.) When did they change the "he who smelt it" rule? [BBC]...

Amazing Memorabilia That No One Wants
How would you like to own a poster of Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad, autographed by Milwaukee Brewers "non-roster invitee" Trot Nixon? Don't touch it—it's mint. [Sweet Merciful Crap]...

Geno Auriemma Is Not Afraid Of White Kids
When someone starts off a press conference answer with, "I know I'm going to get criticized for this," you know the rest of the answer is going to be something really super....

Destinee Hooker Finds A New Name
The Texas volleyball/high jump star is getting married. Her future husband's name: Clifton Gay. Yeah, those kids will be fine. [AP]...

It's Like Jezebel's "Snap Judgment", Only With Sports
There's something magical and wondrous located just out of the frame. What do you suppose it is? [KansasCity.com]...

The Scottish Football Association Will Not Abide Your Pantomimed Oral Sex
The Scottish Football Association has banned players Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor for making the shocking (SHOCKING!) hand gesture seen to your left. Who would've guessed the Scottish Football Association were such pussies? [Guardian]...

Sometimes A Baseball Game Is Just A Baseball Game
Baseball as a metaphor for recession and these troubled times? Maybe, maybe not, but reading about baseball players attempting to wax philosophical on the matter is always entertaining. [Vanity Fair]...

Ty Lawson Shot Some Craps In Reno, Just To Watch Them ...Fly?
The NCAA seems to prohibit its "student-athletes" from doing, well, anything, but prominent North Carolina baller Ty Lawson shooting craps in a Reno casino over New Year's is apparently cool with them....

A Few Fun Facts About The Manatee CC Win Over The Pirates
First of all, they're calling it The Miracle On Grass; that's how big Manatee Junior College's 6-4 win over the Pittsburgh Pirates has become around Florida's Tampa-St. Pete area....

Dustin Pedroia Thinks Very Highly Of Alex Rodriguez
From this month's Boston magazine: "That guy," he will say, pausing for a moment to find the right word, "is a dork." [Boston Magazine]...

Remembering The Fab Five
"[T]wo decades after their high point, the Fab Five's legacy has gone from black socks to black marks, their swagger replaced by the shame of bequeathing the Michigan basketball program a generation of chaos." [NYT]...

The Seattle Sounders Have Their First Sexual Assault Investigation
Here's an ad that was in the Seattle Times last month — and on the main page of its web site — featuring Seattle Sounders FC star forward Fredy Montero. Talk about unfortunate ad placement....

B.J. Raji Just Warren Sapp'd Himself
The Boston College defensive tackle tested positive for marijuana. [ATLeagle.com]...

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