ti Page 1863 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Expository Writing
Hi everyone! Did you guys say you wanted us to write another thing about Derek Jeter? Okay! Your funeral!!!...
"What-If" The "What-If"
Steroids steroids steroids, you crazy son of a bitch. What have you gone and done now? You've made Gene Wojciechowski write this little bit of insanity....
Nationals Hat A Terrorist Symbol Now
Would you associate this logo with evil? With soul-crushing sorrow, and with everything that is bad and wrong in the world? Of course you would. But terrorism?...
Help!
Paul Shirley, hoops journeyman and dime-store Jim Bouton, thinks the Beatles are totally overrated and today's music is vastly superior. Moment I stopped reading: "Just as Dean Koontz came after Bram Stoker, Oasis came after The Beatles." [ESPN]...
NFL Highlight Of The Week: Stokley's 'Miracle' Touchdown
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....
Create Your Own Gawker Media Hybrid
Be like thousands of satisfied GizHackSpin users and create a custom Gawker Hybrid, made possible by Toyota Prius. Read your favorite titles in one place, with the content you want from each. What's your hybrid creation? Try it here »...
Ohio State-USC Game A Missed FAILgate Opportunity
"Ohio State says it has learned its lesson from big matchups such as the Texas game in 2005, in which cleanup crews found several soiled shorts and a few coolers filled with poop." [Columbus Dispatch]...
Arch Criminals Make Off With Baltimore's Only Memory Of Cal Ripken Jr.
How bad has crime become in Baltimore now that The Wire is off the air? Hooligans pilfered a three-foot high aluminum number "8" from Camden Yards last week. Now no one in the city can count to nine....
Derrick Mason's Response To Keyshawn's Raven-Bashing: "You're The Bum!" (UPDATE)
Gifted trash talkers as they are, Keyshawn Johnson and Cris Carter's insults do not always prove true. After shitting all over Baltimore's offense by calling Joe Flacco "a bum," the Ravens exploded Sunday and fired back at the analysts....
<em>Joe Buck Live</em> Lives!
Next week brings the joyous return of Joe Buck's Cavalcade of Sporting Chit-Chat and Penis Whimsy, now with what promises to be a marked emphasis on the former over the latter, unless Joe Namath is off the wagon again....
Finally, The Harvard Crimson Will Get Some Media Attention
ESPNBoston is live. No, the URL does not just redirect to "Sports Guy's World." [ESPNBoston]...
Does Miguel Cabrera Need a Valtrex Prescription?
Wow, that's a grody canker, isn't it? Anyway, Michigan and Notre Dame are still battling it out and USC and Ohio State comes later, so consider this your open thread. And oh, I have a fun story for y'all!...
Most Auburn Fans Are Doltish Cretins, Obviously
Have you ever been to Auburn? No? Well, I have, and IT SUCKS! Which is why, in order to "attract" recruits, the program has to dispatch its illiterate boosters to harass the nation's top prep talent into signing with them....
Your Disdain for America Will Not Be Tolerated by the Newark Bears
Thomas Cetnar, an ex-cop convicted of stealing drug money, owns the Newark Bears, a minor league team managed by Tim Raines. Cetnar ejected three teenagers for not standing during "God Bless America." They're now suing him in federal court....
What to Watch Today
Just because we're never afraid to be too servicey, here's a rundown of some notable televised sporting events today, starting with college football....
Shawne Merriman Will Not Face Criminal Charges for the Tila Tequila Incident
A San Diego judge has ruled that no charges will be filed against Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman for allegedly choking and restraining notorious internet trollop Tila Tequila....
Well Hello There Stinky Britches!
Okay, so I'm this internet creature known as Cajun Boy and I'm guest-editing this here site today. Perhaps you've seen me around on Gawker, Animal, my dumb blog, my dumb Twitter, etc. Also, I got my first tattoo last night!...
Never Forget
So since it's THAT day, I've decided to re-run this item I wrote for the Emeritus roast extravaganza. This is our anniversary, too. Kind of. Enjoy it again, if you'd like....
Triumph Of Will
So many of you sent in photos capturing Leitch's brief cameo on YES (photos sent via computer of a TV screen on which a writer is staring at a computer screen) that we decided to make a pretty gallery. Enjoy!...