ti Page 904 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Marlins Cast-Off Derek Dietrich Is Now A Mashing God For The Reds
Derek Dietrich came to the Cincinnati Reds over the winter via a minor league contract, after playing the first six years of his career with the Miami Marlins. This all transpired with very little fanfare, in part because Dietrich has never been an especially consequential player. Before now, that i...
<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Bosses Insist To Staff That Being Sold To Necrophilic Brand Enthusiasts Is Good
For 65 years, Sports Illustrated has persisted in narrowly covering sports, neglecting those who would like to, say, have their prostates examined in SI-branded medical clinics by doctors wearing SI-branded lab coats, or drape themselves in SI-branded bikinis, or eat an SI-branded hot dog at their k...
Dustin Pedroia Has Officially Entered Pre-Retirement Limbo
Dividing baseball players up into types used to be easy—you had your goatee guys and your non-goatee guys. But in this age of increasing specialization and aesthetic proliferation, that work has become more difficult. You’ve got your Beardo Hunter Guys, your Orange County Tattoo Dudes, a whole grim ...
Odubel Herrera Arrested For Suspected Domestic Violence
Multiple outlets are reporting that Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Odubel Herrera was arrested Monday night after police responded to a report of domestic violence in Atlantic City, New Jersey....
Aston Villa Are Returning To The Premier League
Aston Villa have made their way back to the Premier League after defeating Derby County 2-1 at Wembley in the Championship playoff final. The club joins Norwich City and Sheffield United as the three clubs heading to the top flight and replacing Huddersfield Town, Fulham and Cardiff City....
Orioles' Keon Broxton Lost Track Of A Wall And Allowed A Pitcher To Hit A Two-Run RBI Triple
Baltimore’s trip to Coors Field has been a relative success by the realistic standards the team has likely set for themselves—Baltimore not only took one of the three games in the series, but also allowed fewer than 50 home runs during that span—so it was only a matter of time until the Orioles regr...
Auburn Radio Voice Rod Bramblett Dies From Injuries Sustained In Car Accident
Rod Bramblett, the prominent voice of Auburn sports for the last 16 years, and his wife Paula died from injuries sustained during a car crash on Saturday. They were 52 and 53 years old, respectively....
Aaron Rodgers Loses Chugging Contest Among Milwaukee-Area Sportsmen
Since the Toronto Raptors have Drake cheering them on, the Milwaukee Bucks need their own celebrity row. Green Bay lineman David Bakhtiari has filled a spot more than once, and he’s excelled at acting as a Rally Packer for the crowd. All he has to do is chug beers, and the crowd gets fired up....
You’re Not Mapping Rats, You’re Mapping Gentrification
Where there are people, there are rats. Or, more accurately: Where there are well-off white people, there are complaints about rats. It’s just that two of the country’s biggest newspapers can’t seem to tell the difference....
A Good And Smart Preview Of A Wide-Open 2019 WNBA Season
Hockey is almost over, and the NBA is basically done, so now all we have to look forward to over these impending hot summer months is a World Cup, the ability to blast Bad Girls out of our apartment windows, and some goddamn WNBA basketball. That last thing starts tonight, folks! Let’s get to the pr...
Now Here Is One God-Awful Way To Lose A Baseball Game
If you are the type of person who does not enjoy watching people experience self-inflicted embarrassments in public, heed these two warnings: Do not listen to this clip of an author finding out live on radio that the entire premise of her latest book is false, and do not watch this clip from yesterd...
Davey Martinez's Meltdown Saved Him From Watching Yet Another Nationals Bullpen Disaster
The Nationals, sitting at 19–31 on the season and having won just one series since mid-April, very much have the look of a pile of crap. It’s not clear that the organization has accepted this as anything other than a phase, but the time is fast approaching when denial will no longer be possible. Unl...
Did Cal Ripken Jr. Sign This Painting Of An Oriole By John Wayne Gacy?
For those of you clamoring for the autographs of both a serial killer and a Baseball Hall of Famer, here’s a way to, well, kill two birds with one stone. You can buy this “original acrylic painting of an Oriole by John Wayne Gacy, which prominently features the autograph of Cal Ripken Jr.” for $9,99...
Respect Is Poison: A Message To The Class Of 2019
I have a story to tell you about being Mad Online. This isn’t really a fitting, celebratory story for you, the graduating class of 2019. You’re currently clad in your caps and your gowns, surrounded by loved ones, forced to endure one final round of grueling lectures from a cadre of respected gradua...
The Orioles Should Consider Getting A Restraining Order Against Gleyber Torres
Gleyber Torres socked a solo dinger in the fifth inning of Wednesday’s Yankees-Orioles game, a muscular, opposite-field job that just cleared the Camden Yards scoreboard. The blast put the Yankees up 7–2; they’d go on to win 7–5. There was nothing particularly special or noteworthy about this home r...
Russian Weightlifter's Lower Leg Bones Go Kerblooey During Ill-Fated 250-Kilogram Squat
The setting for this horrifying video is the Eurasian Weightlifting Championship, held May 19 in Khabarovsk in southeastern Russia. The central figure is 20-year-old Russian weightlifter Yaroslav Radashkevich, who is attempting to squat 250 kilograms, or about 551 pounds. The weight turns out to ha...
Drake Has Become The Rowdy Uncle Of The Raptors
“In the Six cooking with the wrist motion,” Drake rapped prophetically in 2015. “The Six” refers to Toronto’s area code. “Wrist motion” refers to the stress relief he offered Raptors coach Nick Nurse late in their Game 4 Eastern Conference Finals win....
Court Docs: Family Member Attempted To Extort $5 Million From Tyrann Mathieu
According to court documents that were unsealed this morning, Chiefs safety Tyrann Mathieu was the victim of an extortion plot carried out by one of his distant family members. The documents describe repeated threats made by Geourvon Sears to release allegedly damaging information about Mathieu unle...
These Poor Dogs Had To Watch 11 Innings Of Tigers-Marlins Baseball On A Chilly Tuesday Night
It was 54 degrees and cloudy in Detroit when the Marlins and the Tigers wrapped up their series opener at 10:39 p.m on Tuesday. In a contest between the two teams with the lowest position player WAR in all of MLB, the Marlins won 5-4 in eleven innings, which is a baseball-watching experience in 2019...
Not Surprisingly, It's Bad News When The Words "Orioles" And "Dingers" And "Record" Appear In The Same Sentence
Home runs are up across baseball. The woeful Baltimore Orioles will not be the only team whose pitchers give up what in previous eras would’ve been considered nauseating dinger totals. Still, statistics like this, courtesy of Eddie Matz of ESPN, continue to be appalling, at least in part for how suc...