ti Page 917 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Don't Make Me Root For These Creatures To Be Happy
I am never going to forgive the Houston Astros. Not because they’ve dropped two straight at home to the Washington Nationals in this year’s World Series, although that was pretty grotesque. (They gave up a crucial home run to Kurt Suzuki, who is 129 years old.) No, it’s because their idiot assistant...
ESPN Cancels Bowl Game Sponsorship Deal With Company That Does Not Seem To Exist
We can all agree that there are simply too many damn bowl games, and that a huge chunk of them only exist so that sports networks can bilk a few hundred thousand dollars out of a presenting sponsor while subjecting us all to the CarsAndCarParts.com New Jersey Turnpike Bowl, or whatever. And so it is...
Christian Pulisic Will Be Just Fine
This season cannot be going the way Christian Pulisic would’ve hoped. After a promising start to his Chelsea tenure, the American phenom’s status on the team took a nosedive. At its lowest point, Pulisic dropped from being a regular starter to arguably being the fifth winger on the roster, an often ...
Yu Darvish Waited Over A Year To Get Justin Verlander Back For A Joke
While chasing down a slow grounder in Game 2 of the World Series, Astros pitcher Justin Verlander fell on his butt as he threw the ball off his shin. Nobody was hurt; it was just a nice blooper....
Jarvis Landry Guarantees Victory Against The Patriots, Quickly Regrets It
The 2-4 Cleveland Browns have a massively intimidating task ahead of them this Sunday, as they travel to New England to take on the undefeated Patriots. This is a team that, when they took on the league’s other remaining undefeated team in Santa Clara three weeks ago, got crushed by a score of 31-3....
Good Luck Getting Through The Sixers' Forest Of Arms
Sixers rookie Matisse Thybulle had three points, one rebound, and one assist in 22 minutes during his NBA debut Wednesday night, and yet he received a glowing postgame interview on the arena floor after his team beat the Celtics on opening night. Why? Because he threw sand in the gears of his oppone...
Tacko Fall Is In Concussion Protocol Because He Bonked His Head On The Ceiling
Tacko Fall, the 7-foot-5 Celtics rookie and current tallest NBA player, is a delight. Unfortunately, Fall was not healthy for Wednesday’s season opener due to a low ceiling he encountered on Oct. 18....
Alex Bregman Was So Close To Stopping Everything
It’s obviously hyperbole to say that a misplay on a tough grounder lost the Astros Game 2 of the World Series. But that six-run seventh inning from the Nationals that broke the 2-2 tie and led them to a 12-3 win was such an intense morale-sapper—for both the Houston team and the formerly rowdy crowd...
Hug Stephen Strasburg More. Continue Hugging Him.
Stephen Strasburg continued his great postseason run last night by throwing six solid innings in Game 2 of the World Series, during which he allowed just two earned runs and struck out seven. You know what that means, don’t you? He got a big hug for his troubles....
After Game 2 Pounding, The Astros Are Up To Their Necks In Doo Doo
The Astros are in big trouble. They lost Game 1 Tuesday night when the Nationals touched up the best pitcher in baseball for five runs, and came into Game 2 needing to scratch out some offense against a rolling Stephen Strasburg in order to salvage a split at home. They got off to a good start on th...
Hoo Boy, Kyrie Irving Put On A Show In His Nets Debut
It’s going to be a season of transition in Brooklyn, while the Nets wait for Kevin Durant’s shredded Achilles tendon to heal and for all their big free-agency wheeling and dealing to finally come together. For now, Nets fans will still enjoy the nightly thrill of watching one of the sport’s most ent...
Patrick Corbin Was The Only Choice
Dave Martinez knew it. He knew it by the fourth, when the Astros worked Max Scherzer for 27 pitches, pushing his pitch count on the night to an unsustainable 96 through four, but also he knew it on Monday, when the Nationals manager declined to name a starting pitcher for Game 3 despite having a cle...
Nationals Make Gerrit Cole Look Maybe Not Quite Human, But At Least Humanoid
The combustible Nationals bullpen tried very hard to give this away, but in the end the five runs their hitters put up on terrifying buzzsaw Gerrit Cole held up, and the Nationals escaped Game 1 with a 5–4 victory to snatch away home-field advantage in the World Series.Cole looked very much like his...
Overeager Victor Robles Eats Shit On Badly Mistimed Diving Catch Attempt
The Astros are tough as hell. They jumped out to a 2–0 lead in the bottom of the first against Nationals Game 1 starter Max Scherzer, and have made Scherzer work out of trouble in every inning so far. In the bottom of the third, with the Astros up a run, Yuli Gurriel flared a blooper to shallow left...
Astros Drop Failed Smear Campaign Against Sports Illustrated, MLB Picks It Up
Less than 24 hours after the Astros issued a statement accusing Sports Illustrated of “fabricating” a story about assistant general manager Brandon Taubman gloating to a group of female reporters about having signed accused domestic abuser Roberto Osuna, the team has changed their tune to something ...
Playing Against Atlético In Madrid Is Hell
It’s not profound analysis to say Atlético Madrid are good defensively, but Bayer Leverkusen were reminded of the one inexorable truth of soccer in the teams’ Champions League match on Tuesday: playing an away match against the Colchoneros fucking sucks. ...
Private School That Pocketed Public Rec Center Is Tired Of Being Criticized By Non-Rich People
Class war! Class war!...
The Brain-Poisoned Knicks Fan's Case For Frank Ntilikina
Knicks fandom is an identity unto itself—big dummy who likes pain—but it is not one big undifferentiated blob of big dummy. These fans hold a diversity of strong opinions, on players that no healthy person should have to think about any longer than a commercial break. Heading into the new season, t...
What In God's Name Happened To Jordan Tebbutt?
Steve Blake was eager for a game. Fresh off signing a deal with the Trail Blazers in the summer of 2014, the guard stepped onto the court at ClubSport Portland to commemorate his second stint in Rip City. ...
A Modest Proposal For The World Series Baseballs
With the World Series upon us, and the magic of the Houston Colt .45s vs. the Montreal Expos preparing to unfold before our satanically red-rimmed eyes, we can sit back, forget the rest of the world its slowly advancing state of entropy and decay and ask ourselves the most existential of questions:...