ti Page 930 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Useless Senator From Louisiana Takes To The Floor To Moan About The Saints Game
The U.S. government entered day 35 of its shutdown today. Hundreds of thousands of federal employees have not been paid in over a month, the airline industry is on the brink of total collapse, and the lines outside food banks get longer every day. Meanwhile, Louisiana Republican Senator Bill Cassid...

Louisiana Overturns Bullshit Rule Barring Undocumented Students From Playing High School Sports
It seems especially difficult to find good news for undocumented immigrants right now, but here is something nice. Thanks to intense community involvement and legal push-back, Louisiana’s undocumented students will now be able to play high school sports in the state, after a deeply unpopular rule—wh...

Spend Exactly None Of Your Time Killing Time
Here’s a good resolution, if you’re the sort of person who resolves to do good and healthy things and then maintains any hope of actually doing them: Resolve to divide your waking hours exactly and only between doing things you should be doing, and doing things you want to be doing....

David Fizdale Isn't Worried About Distractions, Because His Knicks Already Suck Major Shit
The Knicks are having quite a time. They’ve got the longest active losing streak in the NBA, at seven games, and they’ve lost a nightmarish 22 of their last 25, stretching all the way back to November 27. To the extent that the Knicks can be said to have had any chemistry at any point in the 21st ce...

Here Are All The NBA Players Who Got Exactly One All-Star Starter Vote From Their Peers<em></em>
This evening, the NBA announced the starters for the forthcoming all-star game, players selected by fans, the media, and, most importantly, their fellow NBA players. There were no undeserving selections, as Giannis Antetokounmpo, Kawhi Leonard, Joel Embiid, Kyrie Irving, and Kemba Walker will start ...

Let’s Remember Some Guys: 1991 WCW Guys
In the late 1980s, the makers of L&M cigarettes were looking to diversify. They settled on an old idea, something cigarette companies began doing in the late 19th century: Trading cards. In 1990, the company split its business and moved its sports card division into a company called Impel Marketing....

Let's Just Keep Doing This Shit Forever!
There’s no sense in waiting for it at this point. The New England Patriots, who have been shitting up the mid-winter for sports fans throughout this entire terrible millennium, are not remotely close to going away, not any more than, say, measles or famine are close to going away. They’re a problem,...

Well, The Phoenix Suns Arena Financing Vote Got Weirder Than You Can Possibly Imagine
By a vote of 6-2, the Phoenix City Council approved public funding for renovations to the Suns’ arena and a lease that will keep them in town through 2037. The negotiations over the arena deal were short, shady, and resulted in the Suns getting one of the cushiest deals in recent times. And, because...

Frustrated Young Knick Allonzo Trier Slides Into Twitter DMs To Defend His Effort
The Knicks dropped a narrow one at home to the Houston Rockets Wednesday night. Afterward, several Knicks fans, already all aboard the Zion Williamson tank, tweeted their gratitude for some extremely butt point-of-attack defense that let Eric Gordon waltz into a game-winning three-pointer. Here’s th...

Young USMNT Hotshot Timothy Weah Just Got To Celtic And He's Already Scoring With Ease
Timothy Weah—18-year-old attacking dynamo for the USMNT and Paris Saint-Germain—recently arrived in Glasgow for a half-season loan with Celtic after a few months spent on the fringes of one of the biggest clubs in the world. Earlier this year, he talked about wanting to spend the first half of the y...

The <i>New York Times</i> Can't Bring Itself To Hold The USOC Accountable
In my time as a journalist, stories about child abuse have always been the one genre that everyone, even internet commenters, agree are bad. But preventing child abuse—which costs money and takes long-term dedication of resources—who has time for that? ...

Attempted Nuclear Wedgie Fails To Prevent Devin Booker From Defending His Honor
In the third quarter of Tuesday night’s Timberwolves-Suns game, with the Suns already getting their inconsequential asses kicked off, Timberwolves guy Gorgui Dieng caught trumped-up Suns guy Devin Booker with a stray elbow following a Suns turnover. Performative toughness ensued....

Barry Bonds And Roger Clemens Not Elected To Baseball Hall Of Fame
For the seventh straight year, the greatest hitter of all time and the greatest pitcher of his era will not be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens received 59.1 and 59.5 percent of the vote, respectively, short of the 75 percent needed to enter Cooperstown....

Torrey Smith Shows No Mercy On His Son In <i>Madden</i>
Panthers receiver Torrey Smith has been recognized here in the past for his outstanding sports baby—he and his wife Chanel now have three outstanding sports babies—but this was not one of T.J.’s finer moments. The tyke hopped on the sticks with his dad and got his ass whooped in Madden....

Cops: Wayne Rooney Speaking "Broken English" When Arrested For Public Intoxication
We learned a couple weeks ago that Old Man Wayne Rooney got popped with a public intoxication charge at Dulles International Airport in December. What we didn’t know then was what exactly it was about the twisted-off-his-ass Rooney that attracted the cops’ attention. We do know now. And it involves ...

What Story Does The Baseball Hall Of Fame Want To Tell?
The National Baseball Hall of Fame is a museum commemorating a particular professional iteration of an old American game; the long room of bronze plaques featuring the ballplayers that various groups of voters have decided over the years have sufficient “fame” is a part of it, but also something ver...

Don't Doubt What You Saw With Your Own Eyes
Two days ago, video was posted online that pretty much everyone who saw immediately recognized for what it was—footage of white teens taunting and harassing a Native American elder named Nathan Phillips on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. What was happening was clear and unmistakable, not just res...
![FSU Honors MLK With Unbelievably Tone-Deaf Photoshop [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/cg99ntcqsqawkwkcdtmf.jpg)
FSU Honors MLK With Unbelievably Tone-Deaf Photoshop [Update]
MLK Day is one of the few days a year on which a brand or institution is guaranteed to shame itself through a ham-fisted tribute to the civil rights hero. This year, I don’t think anyone is going to do a worse job than Florida State University, which sent out and then quickly deleted the tweet you s...

Report: Pairs Skater John Coughlin Was Accused Of Sexual Misconduct With Minors
Yesterday it was reported that former pairs skater John Coughlin died by suicide a day after his interim suspension from SafeSport was announced, but there was no public comment about the nature of the allegations against him by either SafeSport or U.S. Figure Skating. ...

Frances Tiafoe Breaks Down In Tears After Advancing To Australian Open Quarterfinals On His 21st Birthday<em></em>
After beating No. 20 seed Grigor Dimitrov 7-5, 7-6 (6), 6-7 (1), 7-5 on Sunday, College Park, Md. native Frances Tiafoe celebrated advancing to his first Grand Slam quarterfinal the same way he did just one round earlier: ripping his shirt off, slapping his biceps and chest, and using all the energy...