ti Page 932 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Reds' Aristides Aquino Broke The Cubs And Made Some History
Reds rookie Aristides Aquino decided to have his breakout game against the Cubs on Saturday with three home runs in his first three at-bats, and a new record of becoming the first rookie to smash a dinger in three consecutive innings....
Yordan Alvarez And The Astros Made A Strong Case For Relegating The Orioles
In only the second-worst beatdown the Orioles have suffered at the hands of a Texas-based team in Camden Yards, the Astros ran roughshod all over Baltimore in a 23-2 win on Saturday. The hapless O’s were only allowed two innings of scoreless respite as the remaining seven included at least one run t...
Local Billboard Calls Tuscaloosa "Abortion Capital Of Alabama," Claims 19,000 Future Fans Have Been Aborted
An anti-abortion billboard was spotted in Tuscaloosa, Ala. on Friday that called the hometown of the University of Alabama the “abortion capital” of the state, and claimed that 19,000 future fans of the Crimson Tide have been aborted. A picture of the billboard was posted on Twitter, but the post th...
Simone Biles Dissatisfied With Her Own Performance That Included History-Making Dismount
Even on days where she’s far from perfect, Simon Biles is still able to prove that labeling her as the greatest gymnast of all time might be an understatement. The latest example of this came on Friday in Kansas City, Mo. at the U.S. Gymnastics championships, when she decided to become the first per...
Brian Flores Encourages Kenny Stills To Keep Stephen Ross Criticisms Private, Like A Real Company Man
In his apt criticism of team owner Stephen Ross’s support of Donald Trump, Dolphins wide receiver Kenny Stills has the truth, accuracy, and righteousness on his side—but not, it seems, his own head coach....
NFL Owners Have Always Been Terrible. It's Just That Now The President Is Worse.
When it comes to marrying brain-frozen, heavily armed plutocracy with mindless and quasi-religious ritual, the National Football League pretty much got there ahead of everybody. The number of NFL owners whose general political and social outlook has progressed past the conventional wisdom of the Art...
Mark Davis, Incredibly, Calls Another Professional Sports Franchise "Fucking Totally Dysfunctional"
The acrimonious and not-all-that-beneficial cohabitation of Mark Davis’s Raiders and the Oakland Athletics should come to a definitive end following this upcoming football season. Construction of the Raiders’ new stadium in Las Vegas is tentatively on schedule to wrap up next July; barring any huge ...
Speedy Rugby Guy Does Cool Football Play
The Buffalo Bills are taking a shot on a British rugby player this preseason, and with the very first touch of his first-ever gridiron football exhibition game, Christian Wade looked like he belonged more than anyone else on that pitch—er, field....
Kenny Stills Isn't Buying Stephen Ross's Bullshit
After getting called out by his own player, Kenny Stills, for hosting a fundraiser for wet racist Donald Trump, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross attempted to perform some damage control with a limp-dick statement about being buddies with Trump despite disagreeing with him about certain issues:...
Javy Báez Spices Up Garbage-Time Plate Appearance, Bats Lefty
The ninth inning of Thursday night’s Cubs-Reds game was a real circus, and I mean that in a good way. The Reds were down 12–5, they’d used four pitchers, and they were not coming back, so to finish the eighth and work the ninth they turned pitching duties over to Kyle Farmer, a second baseman. Farme...
Monica Puig Serves Up A Smashing Ceremonial First Pitch
It’s generally lame when non-baseball athletes use non-baseballs to complete ceremonial first pitches. You see this most often with football players, using their vile spheroids to throw first pitches that really have nothing to do with the sport of baseball. If you can’t get a baseball all the way t...
Russell Westbrook Restructured His Contract To Give Tilman Fertitta Some Money
This will be hailed as unselfishness and a team-friendly move, but it’s actually neither of those things: Russell Westbrook, in order to facilitate his trade to the Houston Rockets, agreed to restructure his supermax contract and shift the payment of some of his salary into the future....
Argentina Jersey Blunder Costs Team A Medal Shot, Two People Their Jobs
The Argentina women’s national basketball team had to forfeit its preliminary round game against Colombia in the Pan American Games on Wednesday, losing 20-0 and screwing itself out of the medal round because the team showed up wearing the wrong color jerseys. For this embarrassing mistake, both the...
The Fight Against The Los Angeles Olympics Isn't Over Yet
On a sweltering July morning in Los Angeles, the LA 2028 flags flew as “Mayor” Eric Garcetti stood on the steps of City Hall and cancelled The LA 2028 Olympic games. The games that he had insisted on were being called off, citing the absurd costs, impossibility of staging outdoor events due to clima...
Here Are Some Other Potential Locations For MLB Games
On Thursday, the Yankees, White Sox, and MLB announced a partnership to play a regular-season game next year at—or, more precisely, near—the iconic Field of Dreams. This follows the recent trend of the league scheduling meaningful games in non-traditional places like Japan, Mexico, and London....
Lucas Giolito's Wife Calls Out Anthony Swarzak's Wife For Being Ignorant Toward Tim Anderson's Wife
Bria Anderson, wife of White Sox shortstop Tim, had a heated Instagram discussion with Elizabeth Swarzak, wife of Braves reliever Anthony, about gun violence and race, the impetus being last weekend’s mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton. Swarzak, whose IG account is now protected, came off sounding...
Simone Biles Tears Up While Expressing Anger At USA Gymnastics
Simone Biles is getting ready to compete in the U.S Gymnastics Championships in Kansas City, Mo. this weekend, and Wednesday night she met with reporters after her training session. When she was asked about how she feels to be competing under the USA Gymnastics banner after the organization failed t...
John Sterling Must Be Stopped
Even given that the Yankees are constructed to hit home runs, and that the Orioles are (in fact if not in intention) constructed to give up home runs, what New York has done to Baltimore—and especially in Baltimore—this season beggars belief. After Wednesday’s 14-2 win at Camden Yards to complete a ...
Very Pissed Chris Davis Appears To Go After Orioles Manager Brandon Hyde
The Orioles are having their doors blown off Wednesday night by the visiting New York Yankees, to finish off a three-game sweep at Camden Yards. The Yankees hit another several homers in the game, extending their MLB record for most home runs against a single opponent in a season and setting a new M...
Horny <i>Times</i> Columnist Would Like To Know Who's Down To Fuck
I have not been a regular reader of the Times’s Ross Douthat since the 2016 presidential campaign, and I was not a regular reader of his before that. Unlike David Brooks and Bret Stephens, the other fussy right-wing cheese heaps who pretend to dislike Donald Trump for the Times, I do not have a stan...