ti Page 945 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Fines Michael Thomas Like Joe Horn For Celebrating Like Joe Horn
After NFL officials saw Michael Thomas celebrate a touchdown with a flip phone just like Joe Horn did in 2003, the league decided to fine Thomas like they did Horn in 2003. The current Saints receiver got hit with a $30,000 fine for using the phone as a prop and having a mobile device on the bench i...
Report: Jimmy Butler Has Escaped Minnesota And Is Headed To The Sixers
It finally happened. The Minnesota Timberwolves have traded Jimmy Butler to the Philadelphia 76ers to put one of the most turbulent player sagas of the season behind them. The trade was outlined on Twitter by ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski and Zach Lowe....
Cook For Yourself<em></em>
My wife was out for a girls’ night and I was home alone with my three rowdy kids. To my enormous shame, I have yet to get my two younger kids to eat the same shit that my wife and I eat every night. I cook a regular meal, and then my boys eat chicken nuggets or cheese toast or some other garbage. Wi...
Audit Shows USA Gymnastics Estimates It Will Pay $75 To $150 Million To Larry Nassar Survivors
USA Gymnastics released a series of financial documents yesterday, including tax filings and financial statements from the past two years. According to an auditor’s report dated Aug. 20, settlements and payouts to survivors of Larry Nassar likely will cost the organization a sum pretty close to its ...
Ultrarunner Courtney Dauwalter Takes On The World's Most Sadistic Endurance Race
Gary Cantrell clanged a bell at 6:40 a.m. on Saturday, Oct. 20, signaling 70 runners to jog off into the woods on his farm in Tennessee. They had an hour to complete a 4.1667-mile loop trail. Easy. Most of the group finished with 15 minutes to spare. The bell clanged again at 7:40 a.m., and they ran...
Track Coach Says Thousand Oaks Shooter Assaulted Her In High School
On Thursday morning, Ian David Long walked into a bar in Thousand Oaks, Calif., and killed 12 people with a handgun and injured dozens more before turning the gun on himself. To the surprise of absolutely no one, interviews with those who knew Long describe a highly disturbed person, especially afte...
J.D. Martinez Hit So Well This Year, He Won Two Silver Sluggers
The big (dented) trophy was just the beginning of a deluge of hardware for the Red Sox, and they racked up a few more yesterday, with the announcement of the Silver Slugger awards. Boston had three winners: Mookie Betts, J.D. Martinez, and J.D. Martinez. That is not a typo....
The USOC Moved To Take Over USA Gymnastics After Learning The Depths Of Its Incompetence
Earlier this week, the USOC took the first steps toward decertifying USA Gymnastics as the official governing body of the sport in the United States. This move was long overdue as USA Gymnastics has been flailing for over two years since the Indianapolis Star reported the first allegations against f...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Tender Parenting Moment
A parent’s job is to create a supportive environment for their kids, giving them the space to make their own mistakes as well as the tools needed to correct them and learn from them. In practical terms, that can occasionally mean pushing your goofus kid in the dirt in order to teach them how to stop...
Something's Eating Karl-Anthony Towns
Something isn’t quite right in Minnesota, and it cannot be purely explained by Jimmy Butler’s abject buttitude. Right before the season started, Karl-Anthony Towns said, “This momentum we’re riding right now, this wave we’re riding, it’s not good. It’s not good at all.” When asked why the Wolves had...
Tyson Chandler Did Tyson Chandler Stuff And The Lakers Won
When Derrick Rose splashed a step-back three with 1:07 to go in last night’s Timberwolves-Lakers game, it left the Lakers with a one-point lead that felt like a deficit. Rose is a career 30-percent three-point shooter, and that triple was his seventh made three of the game and his third in less than...
Holy Shit, That Election Was Marginally Less Depressing Than Expected
If I may take you Inside The Game for a moment: the Deadcast was in Tennessee this week, for an intimate and robustly seasoned and extremely fun live recording at Headquarters Beercade in downtown Nashville on Monday. The plan was to put that podcast online and on this website today, and we are inde...
Tim Tebow, Seated At The Right Hand Of His Former Agent And Current Mets GM, Will Rise Again To Triple-A
New York Mets minor leaguer Tim Tebow will ascend to Triple-A baseball in Syracuse in 2019, according to the new Mets GM Brodie Van Wagenen, who was also Tebow’s agent up until last week when he took the Mets job, the Associated Press reports....
José Mourinho Caps Quintessential Win With Quintessential Assholery
Juventus had little trouble bossing Manchester United in the Champions League today. The Italian team was in control for the vast majority of the match and, if not for some shaky finishing, probably would’ve won with ease. But even during this struggle of a season, United manager José Mourinho prove...
Radio Host Craig Carton Found Guilty Of Fraud, Faces 45 Years In Prison
Former WFAN host Craig Carton, who pled not guilty to fraud charges after he was arrested last September for scamming investors out of millions of dollars through a concert ticket-selling enterprise in order to pay off his gambling debts, was found guilty on all charges today, the New York Post repo...
James McClean's Refusal To Wear The Poppy Has Made Him The Most Hated Man In English Soccer
In England, Halloween ends and gives way to November in various ways: Pumpkins left on doorsteps begin their neglected descent into rot; the seasonal coffee flavoring changes to gingerbread; James McClean begins receiving death threats from a certain brand of soccer fan, including among his own supp...
Report: Man Burns Down His Friend's House Over Argentine Soccer Rivalry
The rivalry between Boca Juniors and River Plate, the two biggest clubs in Argentine soccer, is dubbed the Superclásico. This “Super” qualifier isn’t meant to imply that the game’s quality is typically better than Spain’s more heralded Clásico. Instead, it’s a reference to the fans, who are super-ch...
The Bryce Harper Derby Is Officially Off And Running
Oooh, buddy, you’d better take care and keep your kids well back, because though it’s barely November, the stove is on and it is one hot fucking stove....
Will Muschamp, Self-Proclaimed Molder Of Young Men, Didn't Talk To His Players About Voting
College football fetishizes the roles of its coaches as more than just coaches. They’re Teachers of Student-Athletes and Molders of Men. Always with the molding of men! In reality, the coaching pool is a mixture of bloated, irritable hicks and ancient, anal-retentive freaks. (Both categories are ove...
SB Nation Wrongly Told Two Writers They Couldn't Get Paid Because They Are Under 18<em></em>
A manager from SB Nation, a network of sports blogs that continues to profit off the labor of unpaid and underpaid workers, recently told two writers who are still in high school that they could not be paid for their work because they are under the age of 18....