ti Page 982 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Scottish Golf Course, To U.S. Open's Windy Conditions: "Hold My Beer"
This video is a couple days old, but it shows the, um, windy conditions at Gullane Golf Club, scheduled venue of next month’s Scottish Open. Lotta wind going on here. Big wind. Huge, huge wind....

Cristiano Ronaldo Caps Incredible Game With Incredible Hat-Trick Free-Kick Goal
Cristiano Ronaldo just played one of the best games of his life. He was outstanding throughout today’s Portugal-Spain match, holding up play like a champ, giving life to numerous counterattacks with ingenious flicks and passes, and, oh yeah, scoring three goddamn goals in what ended as a 3-3 tie. Hi...

Ugly Boner Gifts Ronaldo His Second Goal Of The World Cup
A pretty goofy first half between Portugal and Spain ended with a huge momentum swing for Portugal thanks to a giant boner from Spanish goalie David de Gea, normally one of the best shot stoppers in the world....

What I Found At The Bottom Of My Father's Huge Collection Of Baseball Stuff
“Did he still have The Brooks Room?” one of my dad’s old friends asked me at his wake last July. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard the question that day. The Brooks Room was what his friends called the small basement room in Queens where he kept his collection of baseball cards, programs, figures, ...

Cristiano Ronaldo Beats Lionel Messi (At Tax Evasion)
Real Madrid and Portugal striker Cristiano Ronaldo has reportedly settled his tax fraud charges with Spanish authorities, agreeing to pay $21.7 million, or approximately €18.7 million, to stay out of prison and receive only a suspended two-year sentence. Ronaldo’s achievement breaks the tax evasion...

Report: EPA Head Scott Pruitt Used His Position To Get 50-Yard-Line Seats For The Rose Bowl
I find myself more impressed than anything by EPA head Scott Pruitt’s venality. Sure, the man is corrupt. But he’s corrupt in ways no one had ever even conceived of before! The man’s unflagging creativity in graft is inspiring, in its gross way, and his drive is something to behold. For the rest of ...

I Regret To Inform You That Mike Bibby Is Now A He-Man Action Figure
That photo up there of a jacked 40-year-old Mike Bibby comes via the Sacramento Kings, and it is extremely disturbing! Nothing in Bibby’s career in the NBA suggested he would someday look like a professional wrestler. He was a crafty and slight guard, a lean guy. Look at him here, standing next to t...

Antoine Griezmann Announces His Intent To Stay With Atlético Madrid In Moronic TV Special
Antoine Griezmann is famously a huge basketball head (though he’s much less well-versed in other aspects of American culture...), so it wasn’t totally surprising when he announced yesterday that he would reveal his long-awaited choice of whether to stay at Atlético Madrid next season or leave for Ba...

Mexican League Teams Brawl While Fans Throw Crap At Them
The Tijuana Toros and Monterrey Sultanes got after it last night after Toros infielder Jose Guadalupe Chavez collided with Sultanes catcher Angle Chavarin on a play at the plate....

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Juan Soto Is 19 And Crushing It
Juan Soto is a boy with a man’s bat. With his two–home run night in the Bronx on Thursday, the 19-year-old Nationals outfielder became the fifth youngest player in baseball’s live-ball era with a multi-homer game, and the list (Danny Murphy, Mel Ott, Ken Griffey Jr., Andruw Jones) puts him in some p...

LeBronWatch: LeBron James To The Knicks, And He's Bringing Paul George
Welcome back to LeBronWatch, your source for the most premium inside information on LeBron James’s next destination. He who crowned himself “King of New York” last November may soon be making that a reality. Don’t take it from us—take it from a man who has been somewhat recently employed by the New ...

Italy's Most Beloved Cyclist Rode Hard, Died Young, And Might've Lost His Career To A Rigged Drug Test<em></em>
It makes sense that Marco Pantani remains Italy’s most beloved cyclist 14 years after his death. Italy is one of cycling’s most vibrant strongholds, and like Brazilian soccer fans, the tifosi demand not just mere victory, but style. Vincenzo Nibali’s snoozer of a 2014 Tour de France win is fine, but...

So Is Scooter Gennett Really This Good Now?
There are usually a very limited number of ways that most fans will ever come to know that a guy like Scooter Gennett exists. He’s a player you would know if you’re the type of Brewers fan that keeps up with those 16th-round role-playing guys, ones that hang around for a few years and never really f...

Miguel Cabrera Done For The Season With Ruptured Biceps Tendon
Miguel Cabrera left Tuesday’s loss to the Twins in the bottom of the third inning with what was initially described by the Tigers as a left biceps tendon strain. Cabrera took a looping cut on a Jake Odorizzi off-speed pitch and immediately winced and grabbed his bicep before walking into the dugout ...

Bryce Harper Roughed Up And Bad-Mouthed In Comprehensively Rotten 24 Hours
C.C. Sabathia of the dastardly New York Yankees pegged dear Dinger Lord Bryce Harper in the funny bone in the top of the fifth inning Tuesday, with two men on and the Yankees clinging to a 2-0 lead. Scum! Murder most foul!...

The Christian Hackenberg Era In Oakland Is Over After Three Weeks
Three weeks ago, the New York Jets traded former second-round pick Christian Hackenberg to the Raiders after keeping his ass firmly planted on the bench for two entire seasons. Unfortunately, he will not take the field for the Raiders either, as ESPN’s Field Yates reported this afternoon that Oaklan...

Students Are Calling Out Texas A&M For How It Handles Reports Of Sexual Assault
Last week, a Texas A&M student tweeted that she had reported to the university that a member of the swimming and diving team had raped her—and that the swimmer was back with the team. These are what she posted, first on June 7....

Bitchin' Politician Just Blasts Himself Right In The Eyeballs With Pepper Spray!
Levi Tillemann is a Democrat running for Congress in Colorado’s sixth congressional district, and he wants you to know he is a leader who will work to “break through the partisan gridlock” and honestly I missed most of the rest of it because holy shit the guy just unloads a fucking quart of pepper s...

Florida Returns To College World Series Thanks To Auburn Outfielder
Austin Langworthy will be credited with the 11th-inning walk-off homer, but it came with an assist from Auburn outfielder Steven Williams:...