ti Page 984 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let's Remember Some Candidates: 1992 Election Card Guys
Where Wild Card’s set of trading cards for the 1992 presidential election is concerned, the question is less how the set came to be than why. The how part is easy: Given a smallish photo budget, a sufficiently defective sense of judgment, and no meaningful pressure to sell any of the cards, a compan...
I Like Chopping Firewood (In <i>Red Dead Redemption 2</i>)
The horses had all the hay they needed, the random bucket of water had been emptied into the wash trough, the cook had his sacks of grain or flour or whatever, and there were no more logs to split. The menial morning chores were done. And I thought, Shit, I guess now I gotta go have a thrilling Old ...
Blazers Fans Play Another Nightmarishly Incompetent Game Of Tic-Tac-Toe
It happened again! Nine months after two Trail Blazers fans played an infuriatingly bad game of tic-tac-toe between quarters, that game has a challenger for the title....
Sam Mikulak Is Struggling To Escape His Own Narrative
Back in 2013, Sam Mikulak entered the men’s all-around final at the world championships as the second-highest qualifier behind Japanese demigod, Kohei Uchimura. The gold medal was out of the question with Uchimura still very much in his unbeatable prime, but it looked like the American had a very g...
Scottish Soccer Fan Punches Goalkeeper In The Face, While Another Beans Manager With A Coin
The behavior of two asshole fans threatened to ruin the spectacle of yesterday’s Scottish Premiership match between rivals Hearts and Hibernian. One of the assholes punched Hearts’ keeper in the face in the middle of the match, and the other chucked a coin at Hibs’ manager, striking the coach square...
How Many Times Can Simone Biles Fall And Still Win Gold?
That Simone Biles was going to win the all-around title at the 2018 world championships was something of a foregone conclusion even before the competition in Doha started. The only question was, by how many points? But by the third rotation, she had raised an unexpected additional question: How many...
Chris Simms Recalls The Time Vince Wilfork Busted Up His Genitals Real Good
Former NFL quarterback Chris Simms, who famously got his spleen exploded during a game, went on Mike Florio’s radio show today and shared the story of a different time in which he was grievously and spectacular injured by a big hit....
Give Derrick Rose The Comeback Treatment He Deserves
Last night, Minnesota Timberwolves point guard Derrick Rose managed to put together likely the flukiest game of his career, scoring 50 points en route to a win over the Utah Jazz, after which he was immediately and widely praised for never giving up after all he’s been through. So what’s he been thr...
Sorry, Sorry, It's The Election Deadcast
First things first: yes, the Live Deadcast at Headquarters Beercade in Nashville next Monday is indeed happening on the day before election day. Yes, many or most or nearly all of us will be somewhat stressed out as a result of this. And yes, while we’re doing this, pledges made in blog posts are wo...
What Will It Take To Get Jim Jordan Out Of Congress?
LIMA, Ohio — Within five minutes of meeting Janet Garrett’s campaign team for the first time, I’m asked to help with their speaker set-up. The laptop audio playing the Spotify playlist is coming out of the projector, and they don’t know how to hook it up to the main speaker, where it would be louder...
Who Needs Jimmy Butler When You've Got Uhh Derrick Rose
The Timberwolves held Jimmy Butler out of their Halloween home game against the Utah Jazz, for honestly who knows what reason. Shams says it’s part of “a six-week-long process aimed at getting the All-Star out of Minnesota.” Woj says it was for rest. Either way, the Jazz are tough customers, and sit...
A Truly Brilliant Solution To The Problem Of People Wearing Non-Spooky Halloween Costumes
Recently my wife told me I would enjoy meeting a friend of hers, who she described as “a big Halloween person.” When I asked what made this friend a big Halloween person, she told me this friend made her own superhero Halloween costume from scratch this year. And I, a punctilious dickweed, skipped r...
Christian Pulisic Went Off Today
An update on Christian Pulisic, American superstar: he is still extremely good at soccer. Today, in a DFB Pokal win over Union Berlin, he had a goal, an assist, a drawn game-winning penalty, and whatever this shit this move was. ...
Prep School Coach Doesn't Regret Saying "I'm Gonna Fuck You In Your Ass" To Player He Called "Retarded"
An audio recording began making its way around the internet yesterday, which purported to be a conversation between Mike Woodbury, who runs a private school called Nation Christian Academy in Florida, and a former basketball player at the school named Marvens Petion....
Life Must Go On During A Military Occupation
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
![Jimmy Butler Steps Up His Efforts To Get The Hell Out Of Minnesota [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/nkdgmjuif4jigxkq6jhb.jpg)
Jimmy Butler Steps Up His Efforts To Get The Hell Out Of Minnesota [Update]
It’s October 31, and the Minnesota Timberwolves still have not traded Jimmy Butler. Today’s date is a significant one in the process, as it marks the two-month anniversary of the Rockets trading for Brandon Knight and Marquese Chriss, thus making them eligible to be packaged in another trade for sal...
The U.S. Women Are So Good, They Can Afford To Experiment
For a brief moment during today’s women’s team finals at the 2018 world gymnastics championships in Doha, it seemed like a country outside of the traditional three—the U.S., Russia, and China—would grab a team medal. These were the standings at the end of the third rotation, with one to go. While th...
Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie Retires Rather Than Keep Playing For The Raiders<em></em>
Former Giants and Cardinals defensive back Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie has announced his retirement today. He doesn’t appear to have suffered a season-ending injury, so perhaps his midseason departure has to do with the wear and tear, physical and emotional, of playing for the 1-6 Oakland Raiders....
Baseball's Weirdest Team Makes A Weird GM Hire, But Maybe A Smart One Too
The Mets being the Mets and Mets fans being Mets fans, each of the team’s three GM finalists had a specific gripe attached to them before the team announced on Monday evening that it would be hiring CAA agent Brodie Van Wagenen. If this seems like a bit much, it’s because of the Kremlinology that’s ...
Tasha And Jordan Schwikert Sue the USOC And USAG For Enabling Larry Nassar's Years Of Abuse
Olympic bronze medalist Tasha Schwikert and her sister, former USA national team member Jordan Schwikert, have become the latest gymnasts to file lawsuits against former national team doctor and convicted criminal Larry Nassar, as well as USA Gymnastics and the U.S. Olympic Committee for enabling th...