ti Page 988 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Contract The Timberwolves
Today, we’re talking about pajamas, Nathan Peterman, liquor runs, and more....

Ukrainian Tennis Twins Banned For Life And Fined $500,000 For Match-Fixing
Two 35-year-old low-level professional tennis players you’ve never heard of, Ukrainian twins Gleb and Vadim Alekseenko, have been banned for life and fined $250,000 each, after being found guilty of match-fixing over an eight-month period in 2015 and 2016, the Tennis Integrity Unit said in a statem...

Maybe Paco Alcácer Sold His Soul To The Devil For The Power To Score Whenever He Wants
Though Paco Alcácer’s goal today came when Spain were already down big in their UEFA Nations League match against England, the weight of the scoreline was never going to keep the corners of his mouth from turning upward in delight. Alcácer had stepped over the sideline and into a 3-0 hiding in the 5...

Steelers Want Vontaze Burfict Punished For His Latest Dirty Hit On Antonio Brown
In the third quarter of Pittsburgh’s 28-21 win over the Bengals on Sunday, Antonio Brown caught a pass over the middle. A trio of Bengals defenders closed in on him, and as he was already well wrapped up, Vontaze Burfict flew into the pile and walloped the back of Brown’s head with a flying elbow....

Simone Biles Has All The Power, And She Knows It
I’ve been writing about Simone Biles since 2013, when she made her senior international debut at the American Cup. She placed second there, in what wound up being one of the last second-place all-around finishes of her career, but she already displayed all the physical prowess we’ve come to associat...

Joe Flacco Has Somehow Found A Way To Stand Even Stiller As A Wide Receiver
Last week, Joe Flacco’s wife Dana called out her husband for his complete dearth of enthusiasm on plays where he lines up as a wide receiver. The Ravens quarterback had a chance to show some of that trademark Flacco spark in the third quarter of Sunday’s game, when Lamar Jackson took a snap behind c...

Witness This Titans Fan’s Epic Struggle To Hold His Sign Right-Side Up<em></em>
Things did not go well for the Tennessee Titans on Sunday. They lost to the Baltimore Ravens 21-0, giving up 11 sacks in the process, and fell to 3-3. It was their second straight loss....

The Ravens' Defense Kicked Marcus Mariota's Ass
The Baltimore Ravens this season have fluctuated between a contender for the AFC title and complete ass. It makes sense that after taking an embarrassing loss at Cleveland to give that franchise their first Sunday win in over two years, the Ravens shifted in the other direction and shut out the Tenn...

Emmanuel Sanders's Finger-Wag Celebration Cost The Broncos Dearly
I’ll be the first to admit that the taunting penalty is one of the lamest things about the NFL. In a hyper-aggressive game like football, you’ve got to give players room to express emotions on the field, otherwise it gets held in and boils over. That being said, this taunt might have been a little e...

Jimmy Butler Is Willing To Own The Villain Role Against The Team He Still Plays On
After publicly demanding a trade from the Wolves right before the start of the regular season, Jimmy Butler has definitely burnt through a great deal of his popularity in Minnesota. But he’s prepared to face whatever welcome the fans are willing to give him during the team’s home opener against the ...

Chargers Score TD With The Help Of Russell Okung’s Obvious False Start
Chargers receiver Tyrell Williams caught a nice leaping touchdown in the end zone to take a 20-3 lead over the Browns, and Cleveland’s fans booed loudly. They weren’t booing the score so much as the officials, who they thought missed a false start penalty on Chargers left tackle Russell Okung....

JuJu Smith-Schuster And Dre Kirkpatrick Renew Hostilities With Tender Helmet Kiss
Whenever the Bengals and Steelers meet, things inevitably get ugly. The worst and most hallowed AFC North tradition is the biannual (God willing only biannual) yelling match between these two teams, and Dre Kirkpatrick and JuJu Smith-Schuster got things started early today with a little scuffle. Pro...

Leonard Floyd Suplexed Danny Amendola Into The Turf And Gifted The Dolphins A Score<em></em>
The Dolphins scored first in their game against the Bears today and while head coach Adam Gase should be celebrated for somehow getting an offense to succeed under the helm of Brock Osweiler, it’s not like Miami didn’t have any help getting near the end zone....

Evgeny Kuznetsov Is A Goddamn Wizard
Considering how long the Stanley Cup celebrations over the summer lasted for the Washington Capitals, it’s a feat in its own right that they’re able to play any hockey at all, let alone win a game or two. Evgeny Kuznetsov in particular has shown that he’s shaken off the championship hangover, leadin...

Gibraltar Wins First Competitive Match In Its History
History was made at the Vazgen Sargsyan Republican Stadium in the Armenian capital on Saturday as Gibraltar won its first ever competitive match, beating Armenia 1-0. The self-governing territory was first officially recognized by UEFA in 2013 and had lost 22 competitive matches since, including all...
![USA Gymnastics Appoints Interim CEO And She Has A Take On Nike And Colin Kaepernick [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ggbzwovoxqaf3i0s498f.jpg)
USA Gymnastics Appoints Interim CEO And She Has A Take On Nike And Colin Kaepernick [Update]
USA Gymnastics announced the appointment of Mary Bono as interim CEO and president of USA yesterday. Bono previously worked at Faegre Baker Daniels Consulting in Washington, DC. Before that, she was a congresswoman from California. She was first elected in 1998 to replace her husband Sonny Bono, who...

Rutgers Forgets To Field Kickoff, Gives Maryland Incredibly Long Onside Kick
The latest bit evidence to support bringing the relegation system into college football comes from the incredibly under-anticipated matchup between Rutgers and Maryland. Near the end of the first quarter, the Scarlet Knights failed to complete one of the simplest tasks someone could be asked to do o...

Pat Riley Denies Calling Tom Thibodeau A Motherfucker And Takes Shot At Danny Ainge In Statement<em></em>
Heat president Pat Riley released a statement on Friday denying that he ever called Tom Thibodeau a motherfucker during negotiations with the Timberwolves coach and president for disgruntled superstar Jimmy Butler....

Colin Kaepernick Somehow Left Off 49ers Gallery Celebrating Past Highlights Against Packers
The San Francisco 49ers released a photo gallery on Friday commemorating the franchise’s 68-year history of games against the Green Bay Packers in the lead up to their matchup on Monday Night Football. The gallery included photos of nearly every notable player to put on a San Francisco jersey from H...

Pennsylvania Gov. Candidate: "I'm Going To Stomp All Over Your Face In Golf Spikes"
There are no circumstances under which you should feel bad for Chris Christie, but here’s the one that seems closest. Heading into the primary campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination, Christie had a brand that worked for him. He wasn’t a great or even terribly good governor of New J...