ti Page 991 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Portuguese Soccer Officials And Juventus Offer Dumbass Thoughts On Cristiano Ronaldo Rape Allegations
Earlier today, Portugal’s national team manager, Fernando Santos, and the country’s soccer federation president, Fernando Gomes, competed to see who could be the biggest, most tone-deaf moron when they each offered their commentary on the rape allegation attached to Cristiano Ronaldo. Not content wi...
Prosecutor In Farcical Brett Kavanaugh Hearing Was Part Of Same Office That Let Kevin Johnson Walk Away From Sex Abuse Charges
Rachel Mitchell, the GOP hired gun who shot blanks during last week’s Brett Kavanaugh hearing, told Republican senators immediately after the public fiasco (but before the FBI investigation had begun) that she would not have prosecuted the nominee for his alleged assault of Christine Blasey Ford....
The Hater's Guide To The MLB Playoffs
The baseball season gets much stranger as it narrows down in October, which is not a novel observation but is one that is already proving itself out. Before we even recorded this week’s Deadcast, a Wild Card game had been decided in the dead of night on a hit by a backup catcher who was one of the ...
This Is Supremely Fucked Up, Don't Do This
Here we have a Yankees fan, excited because the baseball team he roots for is winning, throwing the majority of his beer onto another person for the apparently sole reason that the other person is a fan of the other baseball team. Really fucked up!...
Athletics' Feel-Good Season Smashed Up And Ruined By Vile Yankees
The Athletics had a fascinating regular season, and were a ton of fun to follow, and it would’ve been neat to watch a genuine underdog that got to this point in such a weird and surprising way go up against the powerhouse Red Sox in the ALDS. Alas, the dream died Wednesday when the Yankees smashed u...
Nick Saban Is Very Angry At Alabama Fans For Not Attending Guaranteed Win Against Garbage Opponent
Alabama beat the shit out of the Ragin’ Cajuns of Louisiana-Lafayette on Saturday. By the end of the first quarter the Crimson Tide had a 28-point lead; by the end of the half it was 49. Louisiana scored a couple of touchdowns in the fourth quarter, but by that time they were already down 56 points....
Another Empty Congressional Hearing About Sexual Abuse In Sports Came And Went
With many of the cameras and reporters gone, the fourth Senate hearing about sexual abuse in Olympic sports took on a different tone. There was no yelling. There was no demanding of answers. CEOs of the organizations that oversee Olympic sports had a few chuckles. The grandstanding was gone, just th...
Georgia Dismisses Student From Baseball Team For Allegedly Shouting Racist Slurs At Quarterback Justin Fields
The Georgia Bulldogs baseball team has reportedly dismissed first baseman Adam Sasser over racial slurs he allegedly shouted from the stands at Georgia quarterback Justin Fields during Saturday’s home win over Tennessee....
Brooks Koepka Feels Really Bad About His Shot That Exploded A Woman's Eyeball
Every pro golfer hits a bad ball now and again, and some pro golfers hit a bad ball that catches someone in the gallery, but only one pro golfer hit a bad ball that exploded someone’s eyeball. That pro golfer feels guilty....
Addison Russell Suspended 40 Games For Violating Domestic Abuse Policy
Major League Baseball announced today that Cubs shortstop Addison Russell has been suspended 40 games following the league’s investigation into allegations that he abused his ex-wife, Melisa Reidy-Russell....
Barcelona Combine Two Leaping Volleys To Produce A Beautiful Goal
I don’t know which is more impressive: the leaping, spinning kick that Phillipe Coutinho pulled off to salvage what looked like a squandered goal-scoring chance, or the leaping pile driver of a shot Ivan Rakitić put on the other end of Coutinho’s pass to give Barcelona a 2-0 lead on Tottenham:...
Nobody Was Prepared For The Horrors Modern Warfare Brought To Civilians
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
The Time Aretha Franklin Called Dave McKenna A Liar
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....
The A's Are Full-On Bullpenning, So Let's Get Weird
The Athletics’ full plan for tonight’s AL wild card game was revealed not when Bob Melvin named reliever Liam Hendriks the starter—though Hendriks prefers the term “opener”—but when Mike Fiers, one of two true starters, was left off the roster for this game. That leaves only Edwin Jackson, and he’s ...
Roger Goodell Thanks Toilet President For Tacking Canadian Super Bowl Ad Ruling Onto Trade Agreement
You may have to squint hard to follow along on this one: The commissioner of an American sports league thanked the American president for helping to overturn a Canadian regulatory rule that forced a Canadian broadcaster to show American advertisements during the Super Bowl, which is the signature Am...
The <i>Atlantic</i> Follows LeBron's Lead By Hiring Jemele Hill To Talk About Sports And Politics
In a Monday article in the Hollywood Reporter by James Andrew Miller, a man who at all times knows what’s going on at ESPN precisely an hour after anyone cares, former ESPN personality Jemele Hill officially announced her plans for the future. Seeing as the chickenshits who run her old shop have bee...
Las Vegas Police Reopen Investigation Into Alleged Rape By Cristiano Ronaldo
In a statement to USA Today, Las Vegas police confirmed yesterday that the department has officially reopened its investigation into Kathryn Mayorga’s claim that Cristiano Ronaldo raped her in a Las Vegas hotel in 2009....
Report: Crowdfunding Drives For College Football Player In Critical Condition Shut Down Over Fear Of NCAA Violations
Tennessee State sophomore Christion Abercrombie suffered a devastating head injury in the first half of his team’s loss to Vanderbilt Saturday. According to Tennessee State head coach Rod Reed, Abercrombie suffered the injury while “taking on a block” during an otherwise typical football play, and c...
Alex Trebek Opens Pennsylvania Gubernatorial Debate With Joke Question About The Eagles
The Pennsylvania governor’s race pits Democratic incumbent Tom Wolf against former state senator Scott Wagner. There is one debate. It is tonight. Alex Trebek is moderating. During an on-stage interview before the debate, Trebek joked that he was drunk when he accepted the invitation. ...
Kyrie Irving Is Sorry For Ironically(?) Perpetuating The Flat Earth Theory
Boston Celtics guard Kyrie Irving has something of a confession: He was not totally serious about being a big-time flat Earth guy, even though he spent a lot of time playing the part of a fake-deep intellectual. At a panel today, Kyrie blamed an algorithm-fueled YouTube binge for his incorrect belie...