ti Page 998 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Edinson Cavani Misses Can't-Miss Goal, Proving That He's Still Edinson Cavani
If you missed the old Cavani, miss easy goals Cavani, “he always chokes” Cavani, “he should be sold” Cavani, then you’re in for a treat: In today’s Ligue 1 match between PSG and Saint-Étienne, Cavani reminded us all that somewhere deep down inside him, behind the steady stream of goals and renewed c...

Practice Footage Shows That Taking A Year Off From Training Doesn't Matter When You're Simone Biles
It’s been under six months since Simone Biles, the greatest female gymnast of all-time, resumed training after taking more than a year off after winning four gold medals and a bronze at the Olympics, and judging from the footage that was just posted to USA Gymnastics’ Instagram account, Biles is pic...

Oh God, Even Our Parent Company Is Airing The Barstool Sports CEO's Evasive, Charming Bullshit
Since she was hired as CEO of Barstool Sports in July 2016, Erika Nardini has done countless interviews about the company’s growing revenue and “disruptive” business model of publishing misogyny because it’s fun. (Some greatest hits are in the video above.)...

Notre Dame Scores Last-Second Goal To Break Michigan Hearts In The Frozen Four
An incredible national semifinal between Notre Dame and Michigan looked to be heading to overtime, then ended with no warning whatsoever thanks to the Irish’s Jake Evans, who scored an Arike Ogunbowale-esque dagger with 5.2 seconds remaining to win the game 4-3....

Tim Tebow Has Risen To Double-A, Goes The Distance On First Pitch<em></em>
The Bronco has become the Rumble Pony. Tim Tebow has moved up a level in his minor-league baseball career, and in his first pitch of his first at-bat with the New York Mets’ Double-A affiliate Binghamton Rumble Ponies, he took one deep for a three-run homer:...

State House Inquiry Outlines How Michigan State Failed To Protect Survivors From Larry Nassar
Members of the Michigan House of Representatives released a letter today that summarized the findings of an inquiry into Michigan State’s handling of Larry Nassar, who sexually abused hundreds of patients while working as a doctor for both MSU and USA Gymnastics. Their findings lay out multiple area...

How Local News Stations Are Rebelling Against Their Sinclair Overlords
The workers at Sinclair-owned local news stations want you to know something: They are at least as pissed off as you’d expect them to be about being forced to bow to their fear-mongering corporate overlords, who make them do things like repeat Trumpisms about the fake news media and trade on their ...

<i>The Atlantic </i>Fires Opinion Writer For Opinions He Held When They Hired Him To Write His Opinions For <i>The Atlantic</i>
Does it qualify as a Milkshake Duck if they knew the duck was racist to begin with? What the hell has even happened here?...

"The Most Dangerous Man In College Basketball" Dodged FBI Charges By Pocketing Money Meant For Athletes<em></em>
Brad Augustine was described and profiled by Yahoo! Sports as “the most dangerous man in college basketball” just six months ago; now, that dangerous man is skating on any punishment for his alleged crimes....

Windswept Honey Bun Boards Presidential Aircraft
President Donald Trump’s workday on Thursday included two actual things. That day officially began at 11 a.m., per his public schedule, when Trump received his daily intelligence briefing. There’s no telling how long this takes, as Trump famously likes his briefings short and colorful and chart-base...

Kyrie Irving Is Out For The Playoffs And The Celtics Are Hosed
Oh goddamnit. ...

Bob McNair Regrets His Apology For His Regrettable "Inmates" Remark<em></em>
Texans owner Bob McNair had a tense standoff with his players last season after he remarked, “We can’t have the inmates running the prison,” during an October owner-player meeting about the national anthem demonstrations. Star receiver DeAndre Hopkins skipped practice in protest; a number of Texans ...

Ex-MSU Football Players Won't Get Jail Time In Sexual-Assault Plea Deal
Three former Michigan State football players charged with sexual assault have reached a plea deal with Ingham County prosecutors, multiple local outlets reported today. All three men—Donnie Corley, Josh King, and Demetric Vance—pleaded guilty today to the lesser charge of seducing an unmarried woman...

23 Things I Say To My Kids Every Goddamn Spring Break<em></em>
I am a dad at all times but Spring Break is when I am, without fail, at my MOST dad. It combines all the prime elements of flustered dadding: travel, overpriced food, renting things, lines, dealing with people behind counters, frantic searches for alcohol, and such and such. It’s not so much a vacat...

Ravens Sign Former Browns QB
The Baltimore Ravens announced today that they have agreed to a one-year deal with a quarterback who is not Colin Kaepernick....

Native American Lacrosse Teams Reported Racial Abuse. Then Their League Expelled Them.<em></em>
Lacrosse was played by Native American nations across North America long before it was colonized by Europeans. But despite Native people’s historical and cultural connection to the game, they were periodically banned from playing before the 1973 American Indian Religious Freedom Act restored Native...

I Love Watching Kyle Anderson Do Hilariously Slow Basketball
Among the many reasons you’d be galactically screwed if you lined up on the perimeter to defend an NBA player, speed is the scariest. Before you stand some of the tallest, longest, twitchiest, most volatile athletes in the world, with good options available at every juncture: stop dead and pop a jum...

Max Holloway Has Less Than A Week To Cut An Ungodly Amount Of Weight
Nobody will say for certain what Max Holloway weighed when he agreed to fight Khabib Nurmagomedov at UFC 223, but he has until Friday afternoon to get down to 155 pounds if he wants a shot at the UFC lightweight title. That’s 10 pounds heavier than his typical fighting weight, though he’s a big feat...
