tim Page 178 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
John Elway Has Brass Balls
Whether or not you agree with an NFL team handing a potential $60 million in guarantees to a guy who has neck leprosy, I think that we can come to a consensus on one thing: John Elway has really big balls. HUGE balls. Balls the size of light bulbs. His balls are so big, you could harvest stem cells ...
Report: Peyton Manning To Sign With The Broncos
Adam Schefter and Chris Mortensen were first with the news. OMG LET'S BRACE OURSELVES FOR TIM TEBOW TRADE RUMORS. At a time like this, it's important to remember the words of Matthew 26:34: "'I tell you the truth,' Jesus answered, 'this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three ...
The Baltimore Orioles Are Not Welcome In Korea
Back in February, the Orioles pissed off an entire baseballing nation with their pursuit of a South Korean high school pitcher. Flaunting Flouting the rules and risking an international incident is probably worth it for a young lefty with great control. Except it didn't go that way. The Korean Baseb...
Will Ferrell, King Of WTF
Will Ferrell has a movie coming out this Friday, and there's a chance you aren't even aware of it. That's probably fine with him—although that doesn't mean he's not really proud of this film....
Jocks, Geeks, And The Search For Common Ground At This Year's MIT Sports Analytics Conference
Chuck Salter reports from Dorkapalooza, where Kirk Goldsberry was the star attraction and team executives did what they could to talk a lot and say little. [Fast Company]...
Say Goodbye To Mumblecore: How The Duplass Brothers Rise Above The Ramble
It's really easy to hate mumblecore. Not the movies—just that name. A collection of like-minded low-budget indie films about 20-somethings (usually white and pasty) trying to find their way in the world, "mumblecore" calls to mind all the weakest tendencies in these movies—specifically, their ineffe...
Bronze Medal Ping Pong GOD Bravely Resigns From Goldman Sachs
By now, you may have already heard of Greg Smith, an executive director at Goldman Sachs who resigned his post today, and did so the way all filthy rich people do: via New York Times op-ed. And the greatest thing about Smith's editorial is that he manages to tuck his entire resume into the column:...
TV Station That Fell For Parody Of Hines Ward Signing With The Ravens Now Says He's "Returning To The Ice"
Pittsburgh's WPXI-TV meant to say Sidney Crosby, just like they never meant to say this....
The Shocking Proof That Tim Tebow and Tebowing Are Cosmically Linked
Tebowing! Remember those days, before the Linsanity smacked us all upside the head? Man, that was a fun time, what with all the kneeling and praying, sometimes near mountains, in utero, or on embarrassing holiday photos....
Philadelphia Goalkeeper Zac McMath's MLS Season Did Not Get Off To The Best Start
Major League Soccer kicked off this weekend, and with MLS Commissioner Don Garber in attendance, the Portland Timbers were eager to put on their best show in the home opener against Philadelphia Union last night. After falling behind 1-0, the Timbers' Andrew Jean-Baptiste knocked this goal past U...
Add Tim Tebow To The Quarterback Carousel, Thanks To Peyton Manning
Shall we catch up on the weekend in Peyton Manning? ...
The Eddie Murphy You Love Is Dead
While suffering through this year's Oscars—ha ha, Billy Crystal kissed George Clooney, ha ha—it was hard not to think, "Geez, if Brett Ratner had kept his mouth shut, none of this would have happened and Eddie Murphy could have been the host." Indeed, the news last year that Murphy had agreed to hos...
<i>Silent House</i> And The Rise Of The Gimmicky Horror Movie
On Friday, the horror movie Silent House comes out. One of its selling points is that it stars Elizabeth Olsen—who was terrific last year in a very different sort of horror film, Martha Marcy May Marlene—but probably the hook that will be most intriguing to genre fans is that the whole movie takes p...
Slam Cover Goes Retro, With Rubio and Love As Marbury And Garnett
Slam's Farmer Jones has a lovely story on what it took for Kevin Love to earn this honor—a year-old promise that if he could average 20 and 15, the cover was his. Love somehow did it, but these days you can't do a T-Wolf without including Ricky Rubio. So the two recreated a famous 1997 cover, featur...
New Illinois Football Coach Using Porridge As Punishment
This is how Tim Beckman hopes to rid the Illini program of the taste left by Ron Zook's seven seasons in charge:...
Hines Ward Signs With Ravens, Reports Pittsburgh TV Station That Fell For Obvious Parody
It’s not clear how this exclusive BroCouncil “report” could have fooled anyone, let alone that intrepid crew of news readers at WPXI-TV, who lamented Ward’s departure for the Steelers’ biggest rival at the top of their 6 a.m. newscast this morning....
Ronda Rousey Mangles Arms And Mean Mugs With The Best Of Them
If you only watched the main event of the Strikeforce event on Saturday, you would have seen judo Olympian Ronda Rousey turn Meisha Tate's arm into a bucatini noodle. But you might have missed Rousey scare the bejeezus out of Showtime host Heidi Androl before the fight. Look at that death stare. C...
Aw, Hell, Here's One More Tim Kurkjian Imitation From Rays Infielder Elliot Johnson
With Linsanity dying out, we needed something new. Call it Kurkjianomie....
Red Sox Minor Leaguer Pete Ruiz Has His Own Tim Kurkjian Impression
It's more understated than Blue Jays catcher J.P. Arencibia's, we'll argue. Arencibia's is perhaps funnier—he brought Kurkjian's voice to a comically high pitch—but Ruiz's seems more precise. He's Darrell Hammond to Arencibia's Will Ferrell....
Michael Beasley Tries To Rub Own Knee, Misses, Rubs Teammate's Knee Instead
Sorry, Anthony Tolliver....