tim Page 212 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Why Your Team Sucks: Baltimore Ravens
Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

The Math Of Kahn: Ricky Rubio's Deal In Spain Could Work Out For Timberwolves
As expected, the Basketball Jonas has signed with FC Barcelona, meaning he'll join the NBA in 2011, at the earliest. This is bad news for basketball fans and Gillette's marketing department but maybe — maybe — not David Kahn's Timberwolves....

Timberwolves Cornering The Market On Scrappy White Guys You Probably Hated In The '80s
New Minnesota coach Kurt Rambis is adding former Bad Boy Bill Laimbeer to his staff. Tom Chambers should probably check in with his agent right about now. [Star Tribune]...

Don't You Dare Call His Tebowness A Student-Athlete
It's deliciously ironic when a flack greets reporters at a press conference and asks for questions for the so-called student-athletes, a descriptor about as accurate as calling Tim Tebow mortal. Hopefully, Tebow will soon rid the world of this nonsense....

Colt McCoy Sheds His Third Eyebrow
The grizzly folks at the AMI are none too tickled about the Texas quarterback's fumble, comparing it to a Greek tragedy. Imagine if Tim Tebow, in his corn-fed handsomeness, shaved a mustache. I have. It's called the apocalypse. [AMI]...

Greatest Minor League Promotion Ever Ruined By Wrath Of Tebow
The Fort Myers Miracle planned to pay homage to that miracle-maker Tim Tebow tonight, but what happened instead? Try an approaching tornado, an aborted circumcision, and a cease-and-desist letter from UF. God does not take kindly to your mockery....

Ichiro To Drop Panties With Slap Hitting
Now is the time to dismiss any misconceptions you may harbor about about Ichiro's sexuality vis a vis his affinity for Griffey-tickling. Ichiro digs the ladies, and would like to call on those with a fetish for low slugging percentage....

Cohort Of Talented Mr. Roto Allegedly Fornicates At Ben Hill Griffin Stadium
"I mean this literally. I snuck in to the stadium, with a girl, and fucked her on the goal line of the south end zone. Right below the goal posts, underneath the national championship signs." WWTTD? [IHopeTheyServeBeerInHell]...

What Mysterious (And Heroic) Injury Is Tim Tebow Hiding?
Tebow missed practice! TEBOW MISSED PRACTICE! Something about a stiff back, which shouldn't be a problem for a running quarterback with weak mechanics. But it doesn't matter because he's a walking M.A.S.H. unit that you cannot keep off the field....

Upon Further Review, Tim Donaghy Back In Jail
The disgraced NBA referee was living in a half-way house while awaiting release on his conspiracy conviction, but has been ordered back to prison because of a unspecified parole violation. The whole thing sounds fixed to me. [AP]...

Orioles Fan Overestimates His Five Tool Abilities
Quick poll question: When a guy runs on the field during a baseball game, do you root for the dude or security? Or do you just root for blood? Keep in mind, you're at an Orioles game....

Victor/Victoria
Androgynous distance runner Caster Semenya has won the 800 final at the track and field world championships, shaving more than a second off the year's fastest time as if it were an unwanted penis. [IAAF]...

Tim Tebow And His Even Dirtier GQ Pictures
The Sideline Princess shoot was fine, but those aren’t even the naughtiest pictures of a Florida alum in GQ this month. The lurid full-page centerfold of a sweaty, shirtless Tim Tebow is positively filthy....and comes with drooling prose to match....

And Now A Story That Is Trying To Break Your Heart
Deadspin's fondness for Pat Jordan's writing is well documented and it's always a good day when he publishes something new. But his latest piece for Men's Journal is a bit of a departure from his usual chest-thumping....

The Worst American Sports Writing: Greg Bishop
On top of everything else Jets fans have to live with, they get a New York Times beat writer who seems to be trying to write scripts for NFL Films....

Guest Editor Intro: I Am Delusional and I Hate Winners
Good morning, sports fans. You are looking LIVE at—well, at a post I wrote yesterday and put in the can in advance....

ESPN Safeguards Our Delicate Sensibilities
More inane self-censorship: "When ESPN replayed both of these guys [Lou Piniella and Shane Victorino] screaming their profanities," Mike Pesca notes on Slate's sporting podcast (the ego to the Deadcast's id), "they blurred or pixelated" their mouths. Fuck that. [Slate]...

UFC 101: Hipster Warriors, Chest Hair And The Return Of Sanctioned Violence To Philly
The UFC descends on Philadelphia this weekend. Which means that hordes of Tapout-clad drunks from the East Coast will fill the Wachovia Center and howl like gibbons as they work themselves into the Blood Frenzy. Well, bully for them....

If A Photo Of A Norwegian Black Metal Band Is On Deadspin, That Means Shit Is Seriously Messed Up
For real. This is the first snow day since I've been at Gawker, but the server problems are quite severe this time site-wide and it's making everyone's day miserable. So we're shutting it down for today....

Weak-Hitting Player Rips Manager For Not Letting Him Hit Weakly
"I don't appreciate the disrespect, because I've been playing hurt for a guy who won't respect you. I don't deserve it...It's time for me to move on." -Melvin Mora, (.256, 3 HR, 27 RBI) on being benched. Again. [Baltimore Sun]...